Are you turned off if your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't have a life of their own?

[Anonymous]

Like if they are constantly available, texting too much and dont have any hobbies

[Lliam]

Yep. That would get old quick. What do they do all day? No friends, interests or activities? Don't they even have a job?

So when I had a girlfriend I wanted to see her as much as possible. Like spend the night together after work or hang out, go places and do things on weekends. If we couldn't see each other for some reason, I liked to talk on the phone before bed just to see how her day went and chat about whatever.

But, #1, I hate texting. That's not even communication. And #2, I don't want an insecure puppy who is clingy, needy and, as you said, doesn't have a life. I'd find someone with self esteem and gumption.

[NamerOfStars]

It can be kind of draining to have your attention and time constantly demanded, but there's room for legitimate disagreement about what constitutes "too much". In my case, if I felt it was going too far, I'd feel prompted to suggest some other stuff they could do, to try and fill their days. Heck, maybe read the books I'm reading, so we could discuss them together. Better to build unity and common ground than leave for the lack of it.

[melanieeeB]

Yeah I am but those people don't even become my friends in the first place so yeah. I don't waste my time with people that I find boring, clingy or whatsoever

[WhitneySnow]

I want them to be attentive but not too clingy if that makes sense. And I try to be the same way.

[Asker]

yes 100 not over doing is ok

[TheSpaceGnome]

I disagree with the premise.

I prefer a girl who is always available AND is always busy being engrossed in her hobbies.

People should only date people who have the same hobbies, so busy time is also together time.

Having no hobbies is definitely a turn off, but so is being too busy for me, and not sharing my hobbies, and having hobbies that I have no interest in.

[exitseven]

I never had this problem. I did have the opposite problem. She ws always too busy for me. I guess I was the one without life.

[FictionalCharacter]

I don’t mind if my partner is available for me 24/7 🥰

[Pyrofox]

Once the pandemic hit having a life of ones own is kinda overrated.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Not for me, All my hobbies are indoors so my life stayed pretty much the same.

[Pyrofox]

@TheSpaceGnome Well you're lucky then LOL.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Not all the time, but in this case yes, it pays to be a nerd/geek/gamer/artist/science buff during pandemics, shopping is still a pain though.

[crmoore]

Not really. Though I do think I might try to facilitate some hobbies for them to get into. Not because I would dislike them always being available, simply because I think it'd make them happy.

[Straight2thepoint]

He or she is comfortable the way their life is. Why shit on it?

[Little_Bumblebee]

Yes, that's a turn-off.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Are you one of those people?

[Asker]

no im not people always wonder where i am and where i go

[Ms_Facesitter]

Aw. I wanted to make an example out of you. I don't believe there isn't a person without a hobby on this planet as long as they have the freedom and time to relax. Whatever they do during that time besides sleep is probably their hobby.

[Asker]

thats very true but over texting is never good the last guy turned me off he would never stop texting lol

[Ms_Facesitter]

O that can come off as clingy for sure. Talk just to talk with nothing to say, bleh, sometimes silence is more.