When a guy is in a relationship & has side girls, does he usually treat the side girls really differently to the main girl?

[nocturnalbaby]

Tbh, the whole idea of men having a side girl or (multiple side girls) when they’re in a relationship is horrible. It’s disrespectful to both the main & side girls, because technically everyone is getting cheated on.

But I’m just curious, how do guys normally treat the side girls vs the main girl? Do they treat the main girl like a princess & take her out & introduce her to his family & friends whilst he treats the side girls like garbage that just have to stay hidden from his life & social media?

Or do guys treat them equally? If a guy is treating his side girls like shit, does it mean he probably treats the main girl the same as well?

Or do guys treat them all nicely? I’ve heard of how some guys buy their side chicks presents & spoil them.

Does it just depend on the guy? What does each type of behaviour mean?

[Anonymous]

I was a side chick when I was in my early 20s, at first I didn’t know he had a girlfriend but after I found out I still stuck around (stupid mistake I know). I was basically just second best, an afterthought. He would buy me gifts still but he wouldn’t take me out, he kept me hidden, I couldn’t call or text him whenever I wanted, I couldn’t introduce him to my family. He would say he loves me and he wouldn’t let me go, he started spending more time with me than his girlfriend but I’ve had enough and I realize I was hurting myself and also his girlfriend, so I left. He then broke it off with his girl and started chasing after me but I walked away.

[nocturnalbaby]

That’s an interesting experience, thanks for sharing. Yeah it happens, sometimes even when you first find out the guy has a girlfriend, you feel shocked for a bit, & then you stay around for a bit especially if you like them. But yeah eventually you’d break it off. Okay your experience sounds a bit more meaningful than mine. At least the guy got you gifts & was actually interested in you. Especially as you said he broke it off with his girlfriend & started chasing you. So you weren’t an afterthought from the sound of it, it looks like he was actually more interested in you than his girlfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

Not a problem, I didn’t actually regret it even though I felt like such a horrible person but I feel like I learned a lot from the experience. After he broke it off with his ex, I found out that they were still meeting up and exchanging gifts - I didn’t want to be a third party anymore even tho I was still in love with him… karma I guess lol

What about you? Would love to hear your story, I never actually told anyone about my experience so it feels nice to be able to let it out.

[nocturnalbaby]

Yeah I understand what you mean. Not everyone feels regret even if they do something wrong. But yeah you definitely would’ve learned a lot. Oh wow that would’ve been a horrible revelation to find out they were still meeting up. It’s really complicated to be in a situation like that because I feel like guys always end up going back to their exes or trying to keep in contact with them even if they’ve broken off. It seems like nobody seems to properly cut ties with their exes. But yeah it’s good that you finally got out of it, it’s definitely very hurtful to be a third party when you love them.

Yeah it must’ve felt nice to share your experience. I enjoyed reading about it. Mine was horrible. Mine was completely using me for sex, but he would lie to me & tell me that he was in love with me & that he wanted to date me, but his actions never matched up. I was in love with him so even though I could tell he was lying, I still just stayed around because he was attractive, good in bed, & my feelings for him made me feel more connected to him even though he didn’t feel the same. He had a naturally caring & soft demeanour so even though he didn’t feel the same sometimes it felt like he cared.

He was always dodgy from the beginning, he added me on a Snapchat that was clearly fake, & when I met up with him I noticed he had 2 phones, & then I figured out that I was added on the other phone & one of them was his main phone. & then later in the year he added me on Instagram & directly told me he’s following me from a fake account. It was all suspicious & I should’ve gotten out of it earlier but I was just sooo into him I couldn’t resist it whenever I got the chance to see him. He would not talk to me for months, & then he’d randomly message me & I would get all excited & jump for him not even thinking about how he went months without talking to me

He was hiding his identity so much that I couldn’t find much about him till a lot later.

[nocturnalbaby]

Technically from all the hiding & fake accounts, I should’ve known he was hiding girlfriend. But I liked him so much I didn’t wanna accept that it could’ve been a possibility. & cause I didn’t find any evidence of a girlfriend till later, I technically can’t say I knew for sure. I thought he could’ve been hiding anything. Maybe he just had issues with revealing his identity to people he met online. I thought that because I met him on tinder that maybe he just didn’t feel comfortable with sharing his personal life with me, because someone you meet on tinder feels different to someone you met in person & is mutual friends with your friends. So I thought it was just that.

Then there was one time where I found a girl on his social media that seemed like she was more than a friend & then I got worried. I asked him a lot of times if he had a girlfriend but obviously he just denied it. A lot of times I was thinking of bringing up her name & confronting him about her but I didn’t cause I didn’t want him to know I was stalking him.

So I continued sleeping with him knowing that that girl MIGHT be his girlfriend, but it wasn’t 100% clear. She could’ve been an ex or something. Even all my friends would tell me things like ‘you don’t know for sure that this is his actually girlfriend or whether their relationship is real or serious’ & some would say things like ‘I don’t think he has an actual girlfriend, he’s probably just sleeping around with a lot but doesn’t have a main one’ so things like that made me convinced that maybe he was just single. But then recently he confirmed that he had a girlfriend by putting her initials in his Instagram bio so it was a horrible revelation. To find out that that same girl I found on his social media ages ago is STILL his girlfriend & probably has been this whole time.

[Opinion Owner]

The sad thing is I would’ve taken him back if he would make things official with me after he broke it off with his girl. But no, he came back to me offering nothing…

I completely understand how you feel when you said that you would still get super excited whenever you hear back from him after months of getting ignored. I think you have a pure heart and you love with all of your heart, sad to see that some asshole would just take advantage of you like that :(

Him having two phones and a secret account makes it seem like he’s a “professional”, seems like he’s used to doing this and knows his way around it to keep the main girl from finding out, very dodgy indeed. I’m mad for you, why would he even make you think that he’s in love with you when he’s clearly treating you like an afterthought… you deserve so much better!!

[raddisn]

If any of you have ever been married and been in a sexless marriage he would do things with side girls you never thought you would I would suggest if you get married to always tend to the needs of the spouse no matter what it'll help them from straying

[MysteriousDarkness]

@raddisn
That could end up as manipulation.

[RealMarek]

From what I’ve observed, it depends on the circumstances. The married guys who don’t want to get divorced but have a side girl pay attention to the side girl “as able.” In other words, she’s never put first.

[FilmGuy93]

Yes. The side piece will always be an afterthought.

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s like the girl who has guys on the side, they are treated differently

[WhiteBoyChill]

Having side chicks is literal cheating. That in itself is an ass move

[nocturnalbaby]

Yeah I know

[Anonymous]

Typically, he prioritizes the main girl for special occasions.

[RuthlessAggression]

He's having his cake and eating it too