How can I prepare myself for the current dating scene?

[Johnnyboyloko]

So a little backstory. I get out the service in 6 months and want to prepare myself for dating and hopefully something serious. The past 4 years I’ve had on and off relationships that ended because of my work and personal reasons, as well as hook ups as friends. I want to get back into the dating scene but I’m worried about meeting someone as well as actually dating for the following reasons

1. I don’t know how to meet girls. Dating apps and websites don’t work well for me as I don’t really match a lot or get a connection.

2. I haven’t been in a serious relationship all my life, most were short and or hook ups.

3. I feel my confidence to talking to girls is a bit low and I don’t know how to keep a conversation/ flirting going. I can be shy sometimes especially if the girl is really cute.

Any advice will help from both girls and guys thank you

[Avicenna]

Well, what are you looking for in a woman? That's something you really need to know.

[Johnnyboyloko]

I feel like I know what I want but at the same time don’t

[Avicenna]

Knowing that will make it a lot easier to target the women you want to date.

[Johnnyboyloko]

How will i know?

[Avicenna]

Surely you have some idea what you want in a girlfriend. Describe your ideal woman.

[Selene1600000]

You’re not doing anything “wrong” in a fatal way but you are stuck in a few patterns that quietly push things off track. First, don’t jump to “it’s my race” as the main explanation; bias can exist, but if you’re getting some interest and compliments, the bigger issue is likely conversion (turning interest into attraction and momentum). Focus on three things: be more playful and less serious early on, escalate a bit (light flirting, teasing, showing intent), and expand your environment (clubs, hobbies, events, nearby cities) because a small dating pool will limit results no matter what.