What does it mean to ‘come on too strong’?

[Anonymous]

A girl matched with me on a dating app, she started the conversation with a harmless yet cute line. I responded to her line, and asked some basic questions based on the prompts in her profile. She replied saying I came on a little too strong, that I should only reply with a quip and one question, and then she unmatched.

I message people very much in the style of a conversation, I don’t want to waste their time so I blend humour, interest, and curiosity. I don’t mind that she wasn’t interested, I’m content on my own, I just found it strange that she would assume my half of the conversation was desperation rather than basic social skills.

Is it weird to talk to people like you’re genuinely interested in people?

[jennifer_bloom]

She might have used the wrong words. Maybe she means you are too expecting of her time when she is busy talking to other guys. Also some girls purposely use dating sites to troll for attention or to hurt people and have no intention of dating them.

[aintme]

i guess some girls like it when the guy’s a bit mysterious and a little bit distant while still putting in the effort. ngl when the guy shows too much interest, it might scare them a little. my advice is to just keep it casual the first few lines.
but hey, your take isn't wrong at all either. there’s definitely girls out there who would appreciate the effort and interest, and would do the same that you do. just do you when it comes to dating apps and you’ll do good

[Asker]

Thanks, 10/10 answer :)
I realised that to me, showing interest isn’t a move, it’s just how I treat people. But I completely understand that not everyone is that open straight away, especially when we teach men to repress emotions and almost fetishise the idea of sharing your emotions or interest with only ONE person, I suspect it makes dating harder.