I introduced my new boyfriend to my kids and this is how it went. any tips?

[Anonymous]

He remembered their names. Was clearly a bit shy about meeting them, but he kept the conversation smooth and asked about the dog/school/summers. But he didn’t go in for a hug or a kiss or anything, which I liked cause it eased the pressure off of them. I introduced him as my friend. Any tips going forward? We met in Starbucks, to keep it casual and simple

[SueShe]

That is a good start.

The important thing is to let the kids do the second move and progressively accept him as a "friend of the mother". There is no need at this stage to tell them that he is your boyfriend. The children must accept him and not the other way round.

Being open with the kids is important for a smooth transition. He should not act as if they are not important or citizens of second class. There must be chemistry between them. The boyfriend made the first step and the kids must now "digest" the information. Of course I don't know their age but I presume that they are not older than10, given your age.

Of course, kids are not stupid and they will realize sooner than you are comfortable with that there is something brewing between you and the "friend" if he comes home or if you meet him more often.

Important is that you are honest with them and don't hide anything important from them because if you do, they will get suspicious and will start to dislike the friend because he is taking the love away from the kids in favor of the friend. Good luck.

[Asker]

Oh wow thanks so much for your feedback. Extremely beneficial and all very true and wise. Do you think he did well? Good thing he remember their names

[SueShe]

Yes, I think he did well. Knowing their names is primordial. Talking about things that interest the kids is important because that is how you create a bond. You can tell the friend what your kids like/dislike and have the friend casually direct the topics to those that the kids like. It works miracles if the children can relate and even find a soul that likes what they do.

[Asker]

Yes agreed. Thanks so much. You think he should’ve went for a hug or a kiss? I liked that he respect their space and didn’t invade it

[SueShe]

Getting a hug or kiss from a total stranger is not the best approach for children. Let them make the first move to get closer. He can give them a high five or a fist bump. That would indicate that he treats them as equal.

If he wants to talk to them from equal to equal, then he should crouch and keep his eyes to their level. That creates confidence.

[Guy13]

Roll with it. Three weeks famil and dog to park and toss 🎾

[Asker]

How do you think he did? He remembered their names

[Guy13]

Perfect. Not pushy most importantly. Kids can work into that kind of individual without stress of Momma’s happiness

[Philyouup]

good Job !!! keep it up

[Asker]

Do you think he did a good job? That he handled it well? Sorry I’m just very anxious

[Anonymous]

He's got a good memory?