Is it normal to feel bad and like he doesn’t prioritize me or do I just require too much attention lol?

[xJayleenx]

Sometimes I get sad because he doesn’t ask to hang out more and he’s been this way since the beginning, I also would get very sad not seeing him for two weeks but he’s alright with that. And I don't know sometimes I just feel sad. Probably has to do with him missing me. He also texts me good morning at 12pm lol and didn’t answer my texts last night but that’s not as a big a deal to me.

Updates

+1 y

Me missing him i meant

Updates

+1 y

By the way weve been together for over two years and only hang out twice a week rarely more than that and he’s fine with it saying that he needs to do deliveries and that that’s why he doesn’t ask to hang out more

[VIVANT]

Jay if he’s working 4-6 hours and you are in school plus working, math wise, it doesn’t add up. Can you ask him about this specifically?

He has time he’s just doings something else with it. I’m not saying this as an attack. If spending time with you is stressful (you can love someone and be stressed, so I’m not saying this means he’s not true about his feelings) If he already finds it stressful to see you more than twice a week - how is living together going to Work?

Is he taking some other course or doing independent study?

Also, jay, can you make it clear on your post what his work load is— bc I’m sick of people assuming ‘he’s a guy so he’s saving for your future and you’re Interfering 🤤” Just lay out the facts. Bc there just too much bias in this world 🥵. 🙏🏼

As for with him, you gotta just keep it pragmatic. Feelings aside, what is the issue here. Bc feelings are easy to say, and they go up and down, you gotta hammer out what is actually happening. You two may technically want very different things despite being in love. Now is the time to iron that out bc it won’t get easier. Good on you for confronting stuff tho 😊😊

[Sunflower2412]

Try talking to him and see if he would change. If not, let him go and find someone more compatible with you

[ZackBan]

You wanna know what is neither normal or healthy?
The fact that when you talk about him for 4 sentences you find yourself using the word "sad" 3 times and "I'm ok" twice.

This means things are not Ok, you're putting up with stuff you don't want or want differently just to accommodate him, and that would be fine if was doing the same but clearly he is not.

Unless you wanna live out the rest of your life sad and pretending to be ok it's time to consider that maybe he's not the one for you and you're better off without him.

[xJayleenx]

I talked to him about it big time. I don’t believe that we should break up because of that that’s like the only thing that sucks about him when we’re together we’re really happy too and like best friends.

[xJayleenx]

When I’m going through something with my parents, he has always been there. I’ve tried making friends multiple times but it turned out that he’s my only true friend maybe I’m not even meant to be with him just completely alone

[xJayleenx]

I tend to care about people but they don’t care about me.

[ZackBan]

You are NOT meant to be alone J.
I know you find that hard to believe and I truly hope you realize your own worth one day and the sooner the better.
And look, people sometimes are not a good couple they might be both great people and have the best intentions, he doesn't need to abuse you for it to be ok to break up with him.
It's good that you're talking but don't downplay the fact that this relationship makes sad as often as it makes you happy if not more and that is not ok, sure there should be ups and downs but you have way too many downs.

No one can make that decision foe you but you owe it to yourself to find true happiness even if it means going back to being single for a while and exploring your options to find someone better.

[xJayleenx]

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety since i was a teen and i go through problems with my mom so maybe there’s just something wrong with me

[ZackBan]

What do you think is wrong with you? Having depression is the result of other people's actions towards you, it's in no way your fault.

You're stuck in a toxic environment for sure but that doesn't mean you're broken or deserve to be treated the way you are.

But the only way to change is to take action, say "enough is enough"

Your parents have no right make you feel like shit all the time.
And your "best friend" is supposed to be there for you and ensure you're never sad, just like I'm sure you do for him.

Do yourself a favor and stop letting people make you out to be the problem.

[xJayleenx]

He has been there for me.

[xJayleenx]

The only person that’s there besides the people on the site

[xJayleenx]

He helped me drive i took my driver’s test next to him, he used to wake up at like 6am to take me to work too

[xJayleenx]

That’s why I can’t tell if I messe dup or he did.

[Summeroflove]

If you want something. Then you need to ask. He can’t read your mind.


Maybe it’s not meant to be? Someone whose more needy needs someone whose more on the needy side and someone whose more reclusive or does not like tons of attention needs someone whose the same

[xJayleenx]

Im demisexual and very shy I only want him. I wrote whole paragraph on how i felt bad that he was declining seeing me (because if his deliveries) and he told me basically that it’s either we hang out more days or don’t get to move out because he has to save money. That doesn’t make sense to me.

[Summeroflove]

I’m the same way. I’m saving myself until marriage and find sleeping around more just disgusting. I guess I would definitely fit the category of heterosexuality and demisexual as well.

If you’re not compatible then maybe you need to break up on good terms or try to work stuff out.

If he has to work though he has to work

[xJayleenx]

Im in college and work more hours than him

[Summeroflove]

If you both have busy work schedules and college then you just need to see each other when you both have a chance.

[xJayleenx]

I asked him do you love me or are you just comfortable with me? And ghat to him im probably just another one of the girls he slept with. And he said you know that’s not true and that he’s sorry then I woke up and he deleted both of those messages.

[xJayleenx]

I’m the only one in college. All he does is grubhub and everytime that I’ve asked to hang out extra days he has canceled on me saying that he can’t cancel his grubhub schedule

[Summeroflove]

Well….. This is why I don’t support sex outside marriage. Yeah if you’re sleeping together. He’s probably using you

[xJayleenx]

How do you know for sure if someone is using you? He helped me to get my license took me to work when I couldn’t drive, and he’s always there for me to rant to when im going through a hard time. I don’t know anymore.

[Summeroflove]

Well…. You’re the one with the suspicious. So why do you think that?

[Summeroflove]

You’re the one who brought up that he was using you.

[xJayleenx]

I probably just said that out of anger but I wasn’t questioning that I mostly question if he really loves me

[Summeroflove]

Seems like it still must have been in your mind to say it. Seems questionable

[xJayleenx]

He promised to marry me and is planning to April 2024 he said

[Summeroflove]

Okay well I hope everything goes well

[xJayleenx]

But I don’t know what’s actually going to happen

[Summeroflove]

I don’t either. Hopefully your fiancé isn’t using you to cheating on you.

Maybe you’re both busy with work and school just for the moment. But if you’re worried about it…..

Yeah…… definitely could be a possibility

[xJayleenx]

This is my first real relationship so I don’t know what to expect. Always thought that him not ssking to hang out more was just his personality but I've let him know again and again that him being that way makes me feel bad and he doesn’t change now it’s even worse because he actually declines me everytime i try to hang out with him any extra days before he didn’t do that

[xJayleenx]

Yeah we’re not even engaged

[Summeroflove]

Well….. I hope he isn’t using you. But if someone won’t wait until marriage and just wants to have sex but nothing else. It’s concerning

[Summeroflove]

If he’s promised to marry you….. then you kind of are

[SnowedIn]

Is it normal? Yes. Do you require "too much attention"? Not necessarily. You may require more than this specific man is able or willing to give and you need to find someone whose ability to give attention is more closely linked to your needs.

[xJayleenx]

Im demisexual and very shy I only want him. I wrote whole paragraph on how i felt bad that he was declining seeing me (because if his deliveries) and he told me basically that it’s either we hang out more days or don’t get to move out because he has to save money. That doesn’t make sense to me.

[SnowedIn]

Well, from what you write it sounds like he sees it as an A and B choice of either hang out (and not do deliveries and earn money with which to move out) or work more and earn money and move out. What it sounds like, sort of, is he's asking you to hang on for a while so he can earn and then move out and then spend way more time with you. I'm not certain and I'm sorry. The situation doesn't sound fun.

[xJayleenx]

Yes that’s what it was and i told him that maybe he could do deliveries in the norning that day

[SnowedIn]

I like that you're working to find solutions. Sometimes you have think outside the box or get a bigger box.

[xJayleenx]

He ended up apologizing to me

[SnowedIn]

That's pretty awesome!

[xJayleenx]

I asked him do you love me or are you just comfortable with me? And ghat to him im probably just another one of the girls he slept with. And he said you know that’s not true and that he’s sorry then I woke up and he deleted both of those messages.

[RealMarek]

It depends on the circumstances. If he’s a student with a demanding field of study plus a job, he might simply be unable to pay attention to texts promptly. If that’s the case, he’s working on your future together and you need to support him, just like he should support you. If he has plenty of free time, then different story, and you can discuss what you would like and try to find a middle ground with him.

[xJayleenx]

He’s out of school he’s only doing deliveries right now. I’m the one in school

[RealMarek]

How many hours a day does he work? If 12, I could see why it is difficult to meet more often. If 8, he could make more time for you.

[xJayleenx]

Probably like 4-6

[xJayleenx]

I work more hours

[RealMarek]

Well, you are being very reasonable. I cannot imagine why he wouldn’t see you more often.

[D-Pad_Chad]

This man is working his ass off to move you and him into a house, from the sounds of it, and your complaining he doesn't do enough... this guy deserves so much better.

Holy shit! I just looked up the average cost and it's $428,700 to buy a house and she's complaining about not enough time! Seriously think about that.

Smdh I hope you beg for his forgiveness, I couldn't imagine the herculean effort it'd take to get a house in this market...

[xJayleenx]

Im working too and in college. I actually work more hours than him

[xJayleenx]

We’re not trying to buy a house just get an apartment and travel.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Maybe you are overthinking things?

[xJayleenx]

We only hang out twice a week

[xJayleenx]

From like 4-10pm

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

😢😭😿

[FilmGuy93]

You might be a little on the needy side, depending on how often you want to see/talk with him. But I think your desire to see your boyfriend more than once every 2 weeks is reasonable.

[Guardian45]

Sounds like the bloom is fading. LOVE like Plants NEEDS DAILY maintenance!

[pizzalovershouse]

A way to look at is do you exspect more than 50 percent of his time

[Debbie14217]

he's dumb is all... move on