Women, if you could give “nice guys” one piece of advice for becoming more attractive, what would that be?

[UmbrusNightshade]

For guys who aren’t total douches and have good qualities but maybe come off as “too nice” or do things that make you think of them as a friend only. How can they step up the attractive factor?

[itsalyssaagain]

Just don’t be a pushover that’s all. Otherwise being nice is a good trait.

[UmbrusNightshade]

So don’t be easy to control?

[itsalyssaagain]

Don’t be insecure. The issue with the “‘nice” guy stereotype is not that they’re nice. Being nice is a good thing - anyone with an ounce of self respect would want to be with a nice guy and feel taken care of rather than an awful guy. But the issue is some guys are very insecure and they make it clear; they’ll have no opinions, can’t carry on a conversation, blatantly make comments to show that they feel intimidated by the woman etc

[UmbrusNightshade]

Genuine question here: Does that mean that a guy shouldn’t be nervous at all or just that he shouldn’t let the nervousness control how he acts? Try as I might I am always a bit nervous around women I like.

[itsalyssaagain]

Being nervous is definitely normal. Women get nervous too!

[UmbrusNightshade]

Okay. That’s helpful. I need to work through the nerves but be myself not what I think she wants me to be.

[itsalyssaagain]

Yes exactly!

[Nikki1989]

Good personality, charm and sense of humor.

[UmbrusNightshade]

Okay. This seems like the perfect time to get clarification. What exactly counts as a good sense of humor?

I tend to have a real dry, sarcastic or deadpan sense of humor. Does that count?

And what exactly is the difference between charm and confidence?

[Nikki1989]

Deadpan can work for me. Charm is more related to having some class in the way you talk, dress etc.

[UmbrusNightshade]

Cool. Thanks. I’m trying to work on myself to be a better guy in general but I’ve been trying to do better with women as well. There’s a particular one I am interested in and I feel a bit better now. My new job kinda helped with the charm thing since I have to dress business casual and it’s a public service position so I have to deal with people all day long.

[Stressyalaire]

Be 'nice' but from the bottom of your heart. Not to expect something. "I'm only nice to you so I can expect something from you" that kind of nice is not done.

Where other nice guys screw up is being nice, but not making their intention known. No flirting, or not straight up telling me that this was a date instead of just two friends hanging out.

Being too nice. Don't be too nice. I know reading this will make you think "bitch, what do you want?" but what I mean by this is that you allow people or at least the girl you're trying to get with to do with you what she wants. Putting Her happiness first place at the COST of your own is also not done. If you're a submissive man and you get joy from following her lead, this probably won't apply to you, but you still have to recognize women who are leaders and women who are looking to abuse the power you give to them. Leadership in relationships is earned, not just given.

[Anonymous]

All men are nice if not it simply means they were raised in a toxic environment + bad food choices + some other electrolyte imbalances mental issues genetics etc
Same goes for women


You don’t kill your neighbor because you are scared of the law or because public schools tought you about ethics ~ you don’t do it because naturally biologically mentally genetically by food and many other factors we are born as empaths and 2 grams of logic.

[anon1903]

1. Stop oversharing. 2. Stop whining. 3. Get rid of saviour complex. 4. Work on your insecurities. 5. Put efforts into dressing. 6. Stick to rules less.

[annabananna]

Think more about the other person and making them comfortable than worrying about looking cool or worrying about saying something cool.

[melanieeeB]

Stop being a nice guy. Nice guys mostly just act nice to get something out of you 🤮🤮
Be a normal confident man, with boundaries, your own personality and good normal respectful behavior.

[jennifer_bloom]

Be funny and smile.

[Anonymous]

Girls you ignore will try to get your attention.

[UmbrusNightshade]

Not from my experience. If I ignore women they either ignore me back or want to be “just friends.”

[Babygirl_S]

The genuinely nice guys are already attractive not the ones who start swearing once you refuse to have s*x.

[KittyKat90210]

I'd tell them to be confident