What does it mean when a man compares you to Harley Quinn?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have not seen the movie, what is she like personality-wise?

My ex used to say he was a Joker and I was a perfect Harley Quinn. He liked that I think, because he didn’t like if I was too sweet and caring with him.

The other day I was told that by someone else. That reminded me of the words of my ex.

And why would anyone like that? From what I know she is a villain, right?

[Still-alive]

Well here's how i'd interpret that as a nerdy comic book fan and especially of the animated cartoon from the 90s.

Basically you're putty in your ex's hands. he can treat you however he sees fit and you see him as this angel who could do no wrong in your eyes. This is basically Harley Quinns relationship dynamic with the Joker. He's the dominant one, she's submissive.

Outside the relationship though she is also a Femme Fatale as your username implies lol. Independent, a bad bitch basically. but with the Joker she loses all that and becomes a lost puppy to the Joker like he owns her lol.

so take this comparison how you may but this is how i would interpret it.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/IGyp9P_EDm8

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Actually, that was the dynamic of ours at some point.

In the beginning I was the dominant and he liked that, when I totally fell for him, he became emotionally dominant and I became dependent on him emotionally which was a bad thing and I think ruined our relationship because he liked my bitchy side, the side of mine that would never allow him feel dominant in my presence.

He was often telling me that his love made me weaker.

Isn’t love supposed to make you vulnerable though?

Maybe I was too much of it, at some point but yep. This description fits our dynamic in the year preceding our break up.

[Still-alive]

well he shouldn't say that stuff to you. he comes across as a little insecure in you feeling the way you feel which is genuine and real. i think he probably wasn't used to the feeling himself causing him to say that.

you should never be made to feel bad about your feelings. they are valid and yours to experience. he doesn't get to diminish them.

just my thoughts on that.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We were a bit too honest with each other, we always talked our mind directly.

He did the same but it hurt me.

Because isn’t the whole point of love to be vulnerable and weak in the presence of someone you love?

[Still-alive]

"We were a bit too honest with each other,"

There's no such thing as being 'too honest'

either you're honest or you're being deceitful really.

but yes allowing yourself to be vulnerable and having them love you despite it is kind of the point. you want someone you can be like that with and they like that with you back. give and take.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep…

The vibe that I had in the beginning of our relationship was my guarded self, I was bitchy and dominant cause I didn’t love him and didn’t trust him yet.

When he earned my trust, I started showing my sweet and submissive side as well.

But I was so immersed in his love, it almost disappeared all of my negative traits, I was my kindest, happiest, sweetest, the most understanding, the most loving self. I guess that was too much, because that’s not what he fell for in the first place.

[Still-alive]

althought thinking of it a bit more there might be a little to what he says to you. like you may lose a bit of your personality, the one that shines and initially attracted him to you when you fall in love. it does happen to people. so that might be what he's getting at. He probably wanted you to act more like yourself. but you were to smitten with him to get back there. you morphed from independent and strong to too dependent and a tad weak.

You still should not be made to feel ashamed but maybe there is something to what he says and you should try to look within yourself more. Can you maintain who you are when you fall in love again?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep I understand his side as well, because I totally changed.

I turned from the most bitchy, careless and just very independent person to someone totally opposite.

He kept saying that wasn’t real me and he even tried to make me angry sometimes to cause me to become my old self, but I could just never get angry to him lol.

Doesn’t matter what he did.

He told me he knew I was strong and he wanted me to be that again, I asked how he knew that, he said he knew that because once when he made me angry when we lived together, I broke everything at home, pinned him down on the floor and told him to never do it again.

He liked that lol.

For me though, I felt so bad for being so aggressive that I even went to therapy for controlling my anger so I would never be aggressive to him again.

He, though, seemed to like that aggressive side of mine more.

[pass_the_celery98]

Harley is the kind of girl/woman a guy or man will do for a one night stand not to get serious with. I think many western women want a man who ignores her and treats her poorly, must be the upbringing of being in a fatherless environment or some girls just like drama, this is not towards the poster but i've dealt with some toxic girl, shout out to Michelle.

[JustinTheGreat]

Every man who obsesses over being compared to the Joker is always a walking red flag 💀

Harley is a fun character but I never get why people hype her and Joker up as this great couple when in reality they were toxic and he was abusive as fuck to her.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Well, yep. He was quite toxic at some point, I wonder how anyone’s going to love him at all.

Because he is so hard to love, but I really loved all of his dark sides. I wasn’t an angel, I made my fair share of mistakes, but he was the one I looked up to and all the mistakes I’ve made, I’ve made because I loved him too much.

[JustinTheGreat]

That’s crazy cause that perfectly describes how Joker and Harleys relationship was tbh

[Littlejugs99]

he's saying you act and dress like a slut snd have mental health problems that cause you to do wild and crazy thing and love it when a man treats you like shit. That's my take on the whole Harley quinn thing.

[OneManOnly01]

It’s kinda like your username. Harley Quinn is a ‘femme fatale’. An attractive but ‘hazardous/deadly/dangerous’ female. I’m pretty sure this is what the new guy meant but your ex seems to have meant something different than that.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks, yep, I think I am getting the idea what they meant.

[OneManOnly01]

And what is it?

[OneManOnly01]

@lafemmefatale_1 Were you dominant with your ex as well?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I was, in the beginning of our relationship.

But when I fell in love, our dynamic changed, he became the dominant one, which he didn’t like that much. He liked it more when I was the emotionally stronger one, he was often telling me I was like his heroine.

I was quite bitchy and just nothing good in the beginning of our relationship, he said that was my true self and that was what he loved and surprised him a lot and while he appreciated how I loved him and how understanding, supportive and helpful I was to him, he said he felt like I got weaker after I fell harder for him.

[OneManOnly01]

@lafemmefatale_1 Yeah that was most likely the case. If you are the dominant party then you can’t show any emotional vulnerability because then it just doesn’t work anymore. Why’d he call you Harley though? You seem more like Catwoman lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t know, that’s why I am asking. What is Harley like? I haven’t really seen the movie haha

[OneManOnly01]

Well she’s sadistic, are you?

[love_conquers_lust]

Devoted.

'

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PyWOFi5eUgU'

She is regarded as a Femme Fatale.

‘

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DM0j9mLD6g8’

^^^This depiction is more humanistic. The struggles of someone with a troubled past trying to cope with preconceptions of others trying to turn over a new leaf.

That’s why I said I hope you’re not a Harley Quinn. Tolerate and abetting harm being done to others out of love.

[TheBootyChest]

She is sort of all over the place, in one of the recent movies she played a hero/protector.

Also it could just be that she is a badass female too.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Stay away from guys who compare themselves to Joker. I prefer to compare myself to Batman

[misogynistic_pig]

Harley Quinn is very attractive, except for the next movie's version of the Joker, which will be played by Lady Gaga, a very ugly, big-nosed woman.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t think they compare me to her appearance wise. My ex definitely meant personality.

[misogynistic_pig]

Harley Quinn is the Joker's submissive girlfriend, she loves him and does everything he tells her, even though the Joker doesn't love her, that's why she is my favorite villain, except for birds of prey, where she is emancipates.

[BeMuse]

If someone described a woman as "like Harley Quinn" to me, I would get the impression that she was bat shit crazy and that she should be in an institution.

[iron_ninjs]

Considering the relationship the Joker and Harley have, it's good that he's an ex. Basically, their relationship is abusive. Joker does show that he cares for Harley, but he's mostly abusive towards her.

[David4358]

either you are really hot or really crazy or both

[NathanDavis]

sounds like a wild spirit...

[shanshu]

You either look like her or act crazy silly like her

[es20490446e]

Why that nickname? 😌

[LiamJHayden]

Pretty and psychotic.

[Guardian45]

Probably means you're a sexy bad girl

[Preeti161101]

No idea 💡