If you were asking for a girls phone number/out on a date, but she wouldn't date smokers, would you prefer to hear it instantly or during later convo?

[Porcelaine]

Guy at work seems really nice and attractive, it's literally the only thing that bothers me about him but it's a dealbraker, otherwise I'd be into him. We've never spoken but I was told by another colleague in the next following days he is about to ask me out or at least get my contact details. I'd like to ask him if he'd quit, or maybe he smokes rarely enough for me to ignore it, but it seems kinda off to say that the first time we talk. So would it be better to start chatting over text and only then bring this up? Or go out with him and only then ask about this? I'd love to get to know him either way, but don't wanna waste his time or lead him on. Is it rude to bring up the smoking immediately?

[Anonymous]

It's perfectly okay to communicate your dealbreakers to someone, and in this case, it's smoking. It's better to bring up the topic sooner rather than later to avoid wasting both of your time. You could bring it up in a respectful way, such as saying something like, "I just want to be upfront and let you know that I don't date smokers. I think you seem like a really nice and attractive guy, but smoking is a dealbreaker for me. Are you a smoker or would you be willing to quit?" This way, you are being honest and respectful while also giving him a chance to respond. If he is a smoker or unwilling to quit, then it's better to know early on before you both invest more time and emotions into each other.

[Porcelaine]

So saying it literally first time we talk wouldn't be too dismissive?

[LovrUFFAllls]

I am smoking hot, does that count?

[Porcelaine]

Not if you smoke too 😏

[LovrUFFAllls]

I can show you some smoke if you want ;)