How to ask him to stop calling me cute?

[Anonymous]

I’m dating a great guy (been on two dates and have a third scheduled, not in a relationship, but our friends know each other so that’s kinda swirling in my mind too). He’s chivalrous and we have our values in common. What’s the problem? When he has nothing to say, he just says how cute I am. It’s already getting old. My love language is NOT words of affirmation and his is. We’ve discussed this and I’ve told him why mine isn’t-verbally abused as a kid and don’t need verbal affirmation all the time. I know I am physically attractive and yes it is nice to hear, but ten times a day? I know there are worse problems and this probably seems like an unnecessary question, but what can I do to communicate to him that I don’t like this even after I already had this conversation when we discussed love languages? Like it’s literally turning me off to a point I am debating whether I am attracted to him…like he is starting to seem boring with nothing to say. He’s so sweet, I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

[Effably]

Since you already told him I don't feel telling him again is the way.

Of course you have to talk though. My simplest solution is for you to sit down. Repeat that it isn't something you like hearing too often and then rather than shutting him down, suggest alternatives!

Whatever your love language is, give him replacements that fit yours. After all if he wants to express his feelings for you, a cheat-sheet to it helps. Cute? How about a headpat. Sexy? Aim for the butt. Those aren't very serious suggestions but they should highlight the idea.

Most likely being able to express himself is enough and you will both be happy. If it isn't you're not a match long-term. But for now, providing alternatives for him sounds good to me and should fix your issues.

[Asker]

HAHA This was great thanks! wise and witty

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Tell him to actually say something about you he likes rather than just cute, like, "I love your smile" or "you have pretty eyes".

[Asker]

Yes I told him I like thoughtfulness…being specific. Thank you!

[Texasgal95]

Just be honest with him about how it makes you feel it’s better than ignoring it that’s what me and my boyfriend have learned to do it’s better to just be honest even though it might hurt then just let things keep bothering you and build up

[Asker]

Thank you. Any idea on what to say exactly?

[Texasgal95]

You can just say hey sweetheart I would appreciate if you would if you would stop calling me cute please and then you can just explain how it makes you feel when he says that

[Asker]

Thanks!