Would you care if you were someones first choice or second choice?

[shades777]

For example, if they passed over you but their first choice didn't work out so they follow up with you, would you be totally happy with knowing that or you rather they keep that to themselves? Open to All Answers

[dynamicyandere]

You never want to be second choice. Because that’s literally them settling for you.


If their first choice changed their mind, they may seriously consider leaving you to be with their first choice.


The only way this could work is if you BECAME their NEW first choice by outshining their old first choice, and it was a situation where they were wrong about you.


If you’re less than their first choice, you’ll be with someone that may always be on the lookout for better—they wouldn’t be completely sold on being with you, otherwise you would have been their first choice.


If they want the relationship to work, it’s best that they keep that info to themselves and see if you can change their mind. (And for them to completely let go of their first choice, so they can properly move on.)


Because if not, that’s like starting off the relationship by telling a girl, “You’re almost as attractive as this other girl I wanted to date instead of you. But, she said no, so here we are.”


That’s one way to start with a horrible foundation.

[Anonymous]

Ask the last woman that took a liking to me. She liked me. But she wanted to see if it would work out with guy number 1 first. So she would always shove me to the back burner whenever he was around. Well I won't keep you in suspense. It didn't work out with guy number 1. And then she came back to me and I told her "not interested". Then she had a breakdown shortly afterwards. 😆😆😆

Bottom line of this story is everybody deserves somebody that treats then as a PRIORITY, not an option. She could still have me. But she has to EARN me at this point. My guess is she doesn't think enough of me to do that. And that's fine. Some other woman will get me instead. No hard feelings. I wish her the best. 😉🙂

[Anonymous]

That's such a hard question. I've been on both sides of this and neither side is fun especially when you learn the truth. If you know you're the second choice you'll always have that insecurity that your partner doesn't love you as much or would leave you for a better option if they had the chance. If you don't know the truth then you're blindly falling for someone that you don't truly know or can't fully trust because they're hiding things from you. I personally would still try to continue the relationship but if things felt wrong then I'd leave.

[arodriguez664]

I would care a whole lot about not being the first choice. I have a bit of a princess complex and if my boyfriend doesn't think I'm greatest thing ever then I don't want him. I've given the guy who made me 2nd choice a shot, he ruined my life (not an exaggeration).

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Never let someone make you their "settled for" guy. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Whenever I give importance to someone, I start giving too much importance. And being someone's second choice is no less than torture for me