I am bisexual and trying online dating, why is it so easy to get a guy but so hard to get a woman?

[Anonymous]

[Gent207-2]

Too many reasons to list - brief inventory of thr comment section left this version out-

There are some women that are looking for other women because they have been betrayed too many times by men. These same women tend to experience fear of repeating the past so they stick to women that only like women.

Plus there is a certain stereotype that bisexuality have a higher probability of cheating. However statistical studies say otherwise.

[TallAnon]

Men use more online apps and the dynamic has been that men like everything and women choose more carefully.
From what I hear from bisexual women I know, finding a woman is about as hard for a woman as it is for a man. Welcome to hard-mode.

[ByCureChris9669]

Well, the LGBTQ community is dominantly female, however women meet each other in different ways.
Dating apps are the domain of men, and most of the users tend to be male. On top of this, in those apps, men tend to be the ones that initiate conversation. Women usually can create accounts and receive dozens of daily messages, men will often only get a handful of replies over a month.

[provokeesmokee]

Lesbians and sapphics try in person more. Also men are just everywhere and pretend to be women on dating sites.

Go in person, that's how I met my first girlfriend.

[Asker]

Where should I go?

[ByCureChris9669]

That is a good point.
The majority of the LGBTQ is female
but females tend to meet each other in different ways.
Dating apps are without a doubt dominated by men, and men are the ones who often initiate conversation there. There is also the fact that it can be very risky to meet up.

[kylee2437]

It’s probably because there’s a lot of women on dating apps that are bi curious but would never go fully through with hooking up/dating women.

[ByCureChris9669]

@kylee2437 Without a doubt. The majority of the LGBTQ community is female, but women tend to meet each other in different ways.
Besides, dating apps are often the domain of men, and men are usually the ones that initiate.
It takes very little for a woman to get attention by men on a dating app, but the reverse is very rare. Men have to put in a great deal of effort, and so now that she is playing that role, she is seeing what its like to be a man haha.

[kylee2437]

Yeah I’m bisexual and I say all the time that women are 100% more intimidating to talk to than men lol I do have a friend that has both men and women on her tinder and I’ve never seen her pursue women on that app

[ByCureChris9669]

@kylee2437 I think the reality is that dating apps are a dangerous ground for women. You never know if a man is catfishing as a woman, and is using it to attack them. Things like that happen, and so I understand why dating apps and places like bars never succeed well when advertised as "lesbian"
Its not due to the lack of women with homosexual preference. If anything, there are significantly more women in that community. Most gay marriages are between women, and most surveys show its about 3 times more common in women.
I think the issue is that women meet each other in different ways, and look for different things.

and you are also correct that women are more intimidating lol

[kylee2437]

Ehhhh I disagree. I think it’s both. I think dating apps allows women to explore sexuality in peace. And yea I think there’s a lot more closeted women out there than women do say.

[ByCureChris9669]

So you think dating apps are both dangerous, but also used by them to explore sexuality? haha

[ByCureChris9669]

Oh! So along with your reference to "its both"
When you are speaking about more closeted women? Do you mean to say you think the statistic is even higher? So even more women are LGBTQ than admit it? That would be extreme! at this point, its already somewhere between 10% to 30% of women being openly LGBTQ (compared to about 5% of men in most surveys). So are you saying its closer to half of women?

[kylee2437]

Dating apps are used for multiple reasons, I’m not debating this with you, sorry.

[ByCureChris9669]

wasn't really debating, was merely asking for clarity on what you meant.
But I agree, dating apps are used for multiple reasons, no disagreement there.

[ByCureChris9669]

It is because dating apps are the domain of men.
In most of them, the majority of users are male, and females tend to only be recepients.
What that means is, most men go out of their way to find contacts, women usually sit on their asse and wait for them.

There are far more LGBTQ women than men.
Roughly 15% of women are LGBTQ, compared to only 5% of men.
But the way women meet each other is different.

[NamerOfStars]

A combination of men being more eager (twelve times the testosterone level will do that) and most women being straight.

[ByCureChris9669]

Well, the majority of the LGBTQ community is female. But you are correct, that most women are straight.
However, the reality with dating apps, is the majority of users tend to be male.
Men also are the ones that initiate conversations, while females tend to simply sit and wait for attention. There is also the fact there are risks involved that many women are not comfortable with. There is also the risk of harm.

Simply put, lesbians meet each other in different ways.
Its why bars and dating apps don't usually succeed well with lesbian women.

[strateguy632]

i guess lesbians are less population than hetero-s

[Asker]

Yeah

[ByCureChris9669]

Well, the LGBTQ community is dominantly female.
However, dating apps are dominated by men, with most of the users being male. On top of that men tend to be the ones that initiate conversation.
So women can just sit on their butt, and wait for messages, while men have to send dozens in hopes of getting a reply.
I imagine its similar for women looking for women.