Why is online dating so difficult?

Question

dragoblack · Accepted Answer

Because of the people. Whether it be online, or offline, people treat eachother the same and next to none of them wants to deal with the effort and inconvenience of actually getting to know someone before getting into a relationship.
I've read through the comments and it is pretty obvious the women are not noticing. whether it is online or offline people go about dating the same. Swiping is just picking who you choose to talk to based on looks, same as offline; the way guys are treated is the same; ghosted mid conversation or the moment you speak; 1 word replies or replies that build nothing to conversation; literally giving next to no information about herself to build off of; women always giving subtext to everything they say, hoping the guy can read her mind, instead of just being honest; women only trying to get guys to buy them things; guys being used, by abusing social norms, thinking they are mandatory, then getting pissed when they find out they are not; being solicited; women only going after guys with a lot of money; guy's being used for sex... etc.
and for women, offline is the same as online, tons of guys hitting on them, guys that can't accept rejection and get verbally abusive; guys only choosing to talk to them, based on looks; guys going after women only for 1-night-stands; the obvious dangers of meeting with guys irl; guys that only talk about sex; guys who literally don't know when to shut up; just straight up assholes; guy's the project their fetishes, somehow thinking it's ok to do; ... etc.
Then there is the obvious both deal with which is, cheaters; creepy people; dealing with people you really find unattractive physically; just straightup toxic minded individuals;... etc.
Then
The problem isn't the medium of online dating, it's the crappy people of dating society, who don't know how to deal with actually putting in effort to get to know eachother, along with the inconveniences and awkwardness of the process, and ACTUALLY TREAT EACHOTHER AS PEOPLE! Rather than someone to be used, manipulated and/or abused.
Next to none of you can actually be honest and only get into relationships via hookups, where the main reason is "the s3x is good", then end up wondering why your partner is super toxic, when the sex gets stale & boring.
The only difference between online and offline, is the fact online actually tells you they are single, (if the bio is actually filled out) something to start the initial conversation on, and safe interactions.
You all have a large variety of options for which to communicate online, whether it be video chat, vr meetup, basic call, whatever the hell snapchat is with picture communication, and basic text.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You have the utter polarity of attention when comparing the two sexes… women get literally endless attention, and a high percentage of men are endlessly rejected.

Women are after a small percentage of guys, and most guys aren’t in that category.

As much as it should be a reality check for women too, it isn’t. All it takes for a girl is to have one halfway decent interaction with a man she’s interested in, and suddenly she thinks she’s deserving of that caliber of guy. But these top percentage guys have a lot of options, so is he really going to settle for her? Not likely.

And when you have a large percentage of women nowadays that consider themselves “they ARE the table” the dynamics of what’s really happening aren’t going to sink in quickly. Their egos are hindering their ability to see reality for what it is. It’s always going to be the next Chad, Brad, or Tyrone that “must be the one.” It’s a “fluke” that the last one didn’t work out and he’s “such a jerk” because “I AM THE TABLE” she thinks… the average, halfway decent looking girl anymore thinks she’s perfect, deserving the world.

And all online dating has done is amplify these issues in the dating world even more. There will always be a simp to validate a woman’s existence, which is why you’re better off focusing entirely on yourself and building yourself up to a point where you as the man, have the leverage in these situations.

wiltingrosepetal · Accepted Answer

I hear the excuse that "it's all about hooking up" all the time. But that's really not the reason why dating apps fail.

Simply, humans aren't supposed to be superficial, we're supposed to mate. That's why the more we know someone, the more attractive they look. And why we have pheromones to begin with.

But when it comes to dating apps? Everything that's supposed to cause attraction is thrown away as we instead look for check lists. Skinny, blonde, three dogs, plays gta, swipe right. 6'3, beard, traveller, plays football, swipe right. Essentially, those apps just aren't human. You can find people who seem absolutely perfect but you just don't feel attraction, cause dating is a lot more than just buzz words

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

Because it in it's entire format is built upon being superficial. It has none of the stuff that real life dating has. The bidy language, the voice, the charm. It's just built upon pics and swiping. No written bio or pics will ever match up to a real life encounter.

coachTanthony · Answer

Probably using the wrong app, photos suck and you just aren't that interesting or appealing. Sure people can blame it on bots or scammers etc etc but in my experience it's a sad ass profile.

Jbear27 · Answer

I haven’t found online dating to be difficult. I work a lot and don’t go out much when I’m off because I’m pretty much done with the party scene. So I recently turned to online dating. I match with a few women. Chat a bit and try to vet them as best as possible to make sure they aren’t self absorbed and adrenaline fueled pleasure seekers. Then ask for coffee. I’ve dated a few gorgeous women and while the last few ultimately weren’t what I was looking for, I recently found someone whom I click with perfectly and the relationship and sex is off the freaking charts. So maybe take better pics, be conscious about how your portray yourself on your profile, keep the conversation flowing and interesting and good luck.

Bluebottletop · Answer

I found that online dating people are only interested in an easy hook up and conversations are repetitive. It gets boring always messaging. There’s no being able to actually see what a person is like. I was completely against trying to date IRL but it turns out IRL worked better for me personally and I was able to meet and get close to someone and actually feel like it was going somewhere that now we’re in a committed relationship. Nothing against online dating. It just never worked for me.

BetaBucks · Answer

It's automatically 10x harder for dudes. Then another 10x if you're not at top 10% attractive dude.

Don't forget that pretty much every woman you know will lie to your face about a man's attractiveness not really mattering. It's the number one most important thing. Or else all the best looking guys wouldn't get all the best looking women. Improve your looks, improve your odds. Personality is what seals the deal after they find you attractive ENOUGH to consider.

Anonymous · Answer

Because women/girls have stupid expectations. Im not saying a girl or a woman shouldn’t have standards such as he’s in shape, you’re attracted to him, you find him funny because he’s interesting and unique, works hard and has his life together. But guys and men tend to downplay her red flags 🚩 which are probably bipolar behaviour and still try to make it work. At this stage in my life girls are annoying and I’d rather just talk to Kermit the frog then getting to know a girl who’s going to just cheat on me and not appreciate any good stuff I’ve done.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Dating period is difficult.
You aren't saying which dating sites you are using.
Is it a pay to join site like eharmony, or it's just lunch, sites like that, or just some free site where anyone can join.
The better pay to join sites tend to be more selective and because of the cost most people on them are more serious about finding a partner.
While some may use it for a hook up site, most don't.
It is still a lot of work to find someone special.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

In online dating men are looking for the prettiest women on there while women are looking for the most handsome or successful men on there to have fun with.

People on-line are looking for fun and sexual flings, nothing serious, so if you don't match what people are looking for you're going to struggle unless you drop your standards.

Jessikaah91 · Answer

It can be difficult not being able to see one another if you don't live close.. like I met my partner online we lived in different states now live together been together nearly 4 years with two little girls. so can definitely work tho.

Anonymous · Answer

Because most people on dating apps are simply window shopping. Most people on dating apps are not actually wanting to date. Or more accurately, not looking to date unless they spot that unicorn. Something basically no man or woman can live up to.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Online all people can usually go on is appearance. If one does not photograph well, it will not likely be a positive experience.

In person, one's demeanor and personality can compensate for not being "model-like."

Nikki1989 · Answer

Because it is online dating. There is a thing called the real world. Check it out, there are single people everywhere.

SotiCoto · Answer

Why do people keep asking this question like they believe the answer has changed since yesterday or the day before? Go look up any of the hundreds of other times it was asked. I'm tired of explaining it.

SweetDripp · Answer

Because it's hard to get a real impression of someone based on half truths posted in an online profile.

ManInChains · Answer

Because if you happen to match somehow you neither person will actually make the effort to actually meet up

Crazzyyworld · Answer

It looks like everyone is just looking for sex online. They might have a lover in the past and they judge other people who look for love and the frustrations is overwhelming.

firenine909 · Answer

Attraction aside, because you need to actually get to know people before they want to spend time with you

nawtee_me · Answer

How do you “date” online? What go you do chat and tell the other person what you are eating? Or maybe you watch the same show while you two are chatting and talk during the commercials? Just like a long distance relationship, it isn’t real…?

Radiate143 · Answer

Because it's a boon for people with bad intentions to be manipulative with as little checks and balances and consequences as possible.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Online dating gives people the hilarious impression that they have way more options than they actually do.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Because there aren't many good people there. It's for desperate people

Amandanator · Answer

The format sucks to keep a long answer short.

paledreams · Answer

Too many guys, too few decent real women, and too many other variables

MikeTheBartender · Answer

It's 100 percent shallow. It helps for me. But doesn't work out for most people.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Because you can't see the body language and the inflections in speech

Anonymous · Answer

because everyone on dating apps is disposable to everyone else on dating apps

Jay0102 · Answer

You dont know whats real and whats fake. My friend just got scammed out of his life savingd

Twalli · Answer

Everyone is on there for a reason. Some are reasons why their only ability to get datez us online.

Anonymous · Answer

Because it's designed to be a distraction from reality

chrissykerdock · Answer

you'll never get chemistry from online

MemeSupreme · Answer

bc it's not meant to be taken seriously

jahaims · Answer

Because you aren't desirable to most females

Mediterraneansoul · Answer

People make it difficult

Why is online dating so difficult?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why is online dating so difficult?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.