Boyfriend annoys me constantly, should I break up with him?

[Anonymous]

We have a fight every month because he keeps doing the same things to annoy me. First he always ask me stupid questions, I’ve told him I find it annoying yet he still does. He says it’s just his personality and he’s not trying to make me mad. Next I ask him to put away his shoes but he always somehow forgets and it’s such a simple thing. That pisses me off.

We’ve been together 3.5 years and I’ve told him over and over the things that annoy me and he still does them. I’m sick of it. I want someone that’s not going to annoy me. Should I dump him? He really wants to stay with me and says he loves me.

[kylee2437]

To me it seems like your interest level for him has gone down as you are now annoyed with things that are just him being him. That’s not a sign that you aren’t interested anymore and yes that’s a sign to break up

[Asker]

No I still love him to bits. I just want him to stop annoying me and I’ve told him directly what annoys me but he can’t seem to do it so it’s like he’s doing it on purpose to piss me off. It’s not nice for me to have a partner that annoys me so much why would I put myself through that all the time. Am I being unreasonable? I don’t want to dump him if it’s a mistake

[kylee2437]

The way you wrote about him doesn’t seem like love to me.

[Asker]

What part? Like why does it seem like that?

[Asker]

Like is it too much to ask that he doesn’t do the things he knows annoys me?

[kylee2437]

It’s not too much to ask - however I feel like the issue isn’t being solved and it’s affecting your ability to be a loving soft girlfriend

[Asker]

He says he tries to not annoy me it’s just his personality or the way he is. But it’s easy to stop doing things that annoy your partner right? Ugh I don’t want to dump him but he won’t change

[jahaims]

You sound bitchy and like you want a reason to leave so you make it about him doing negative things. If you want to leave a 3.5 year relationship based on those small things you shouldn't even be in a relationship.

[Asker]

Am I not allowed to tell him things that annoy me or should I just suffer on? I’m not bitchy at all. Everyone has their breaking point and I do love him I just want him to stop annoying me. Do you think it’s easy to just leave a 3.5 year relationship

[jahaims]

Being mad enough to leave your s/o for asking questions or forgetting to put shoes away is ridiculous. Such a minute problem you want it to be a big problem so you can leave a perfectly good guy without feeling guilty.

[Asker]

Is it not more ridiculous that he can’t stop doing things that he knows annoys me?

[jahaims]

In a long-term relationship, you will always find things about your partner to be annoying. You do things that annoy him as well. Instead of ending a relationship over it, he realizes that it's normal.

[slatyb]

Yes, you should break up. He deserves someone capable of loving him back.

[Fanfare690]

Whats annoying to you that he does?

I was told when your boyfriend/girlfriend says it's just the way I am is a red flag... it should be something not acceptable no questions asked

[Asker]

Like he won’t put away his shoes when I ask even though he knows I don’t like them out. He asks me stupid questions that don’t even make sense or that are common sense. He doesn’t understand simple things so I have to clarify stuff a lot because he doesn’t get it. There’s more I just can’t think now

[Asker]

He says he doesn’t do things to annoy me on purpose that he doesn’t think but it seems like he must do because I tell him what annoys me. It’s not hard to do

[Fanfare690]

Maybe he's too dumb to be with you
My boyfriend is the same way... he sounds lazy too

[Asker]

He isn’t as smart as me that’s for sure. But he is very tidy it’s just the shoes thing bothers me. Are they unreasonable things to leave him over? Another person commented why would I leave a 3.5 year relationship over small things

[Asker]

They don’t feel small to me if they make me so angry

[Fanfare690]

Maybe it's something to work on. Because my boyfriend still does thing that piss me off... like puts a dirty clothes basket infront of my closet where I can't open it every day.. he puts his things on mine. But he has good things too... why I'm stuck. Just ask yourself if you wanted kids or had kids with this person would you be happy?

[NotTacocaT6969]

A golden rule of relationships.


If you have to repeat yourself, they’re not listening to you and that’s never going to change.