Why does my boyfriend annoy me? Does that mean I should break up with him?

[Adele_26]

We’re long distance. I visited him for a month. Yes, we were together almost 24/7. I kept getting annoyed because he will start pinching, poking, and throwing me around. And it fucking hurts. I know he’s doing it playfully, but when I tell him to stop, he doesn’t. He told me he likes it when I get annoyed and wants me to actually punch him. I’m small so it won’t hurt him, but still. It honestly triggers me because I was in an extremely abusive relationship before him, and he knows this. I do really like him and see a future, but I don’t know if I’m forcing that idea or not.

[lightbulb27]

this is a classic example of how prior trauma is guiding you to the same type of person. It's how our minds work and it's not good.

To survive in this relationship, you'd have to retrain him to heal his inner wounds (the reason he thinks it's ok to pick on others... becausehe was picked on and that's how he found control and power). That could be a real project. my wife had this issue with her X and she had to deal with him to get him to stop.

you can try... you become a counselor to him to grow up.

Then there's you... you were abused and so you are attracted to the same defect. Maybe you took bullying before that and are a nice person, so the pattern builds strength. You have to find your inner strength and boundaries and be clear about what is ok and not ok.

If you and he can overcome these emotional issues, you may be in a very strong place to move forward. It's not easy... because the sub conscious mind doesn't want to change from what it already learned.

That's several decades of wisdom, you're welcome!

[aaron210419]

If this is how he treats you and you don't see each other often if you were to take things further with him most likely it would only get worse. Based on his response when you asked him to stop and knowing your past relationship history he's not on the same maturity level as you. I wouldn't call what you're feeling simply being annoyed with his behavior, the way he was taunting you and wanted you to punch him shows signs of other issues that he may not even be aware of. I can't tell you how to make this decision but I think you have every right to be annoyed to say the least. Good luck in which ever way you decide to go, I hope you can decide on what's really best for you.

[watercolor_lions]

I'm not saying to break up with him, but I did date a guy like this and I did break up with him. He did stuff like this in front of my mom (nonstop tickling) and she said she heard doing stuff like that is a sign of their desire to control you. I never saw it that way, but moreso a disrespect of boundaries. He had a niece exactly like him, and he hated being around her. She didn't know when to stop.

If you stay with him, understand that this behavior won't die. They think it's harmless and that you're overreacting. But it shows a lack of respect.

[Anonymous]

Show him what it's like. The best way to do that since he is probably bigger and stronger then you is to wack him in his nuts randomly. Like when he would annoy you normally. So if he is laying down relaxing and unsuspecting, just give him a good punch or back hand in the nuts. Or if he is bending down to get something, give him a kick or punch or grab his nuts. If he is cuddling you, wack him in his nuts. If he is showering and washing his hair and can't see, wack him or kick him in the nuts. See how he likes being roughed up all the time.

[Guy13]

He seems not to have a high regard for your personal rules or demands which transcends Annoying. Obviously you wishes are of little importance and this is clearly a predictor of future behaviors. This guy is a “Cheater time bomb” 💣 waiting to explode….

[OlderAndWiser]

This guy is not your future. He knows your sentivities and knowingly does things that will aggravate you. Do you really want 50+ more years of that?

[melanieeeB]

Honestly I know from me personally, if I get really annoyed for whatever reason, that person is not for me.
Plus I don't recommend long distance relationships, you built an emotional connection but have no clue about them as a person.. years will pass, you will meet and it's not what you imagined it to be and boom years of your life wasted for an illusion.
Only to LD if you already were together and the other has to go abroad for a little while but will come back.

[sheikalana]

It's normal to feel annoyed by our partners especially when we spend that much time with them. I don't see here a reason to break up but you really need to make things clear with him. Be assertive and firm. If he truly cares he's going to understand and respect you.

[Alwayreckles93]

Quit complaining easy just break up with this boy. And if he annoys you so much why would you even want a future with this boy in the first place? You hate his habits so just break up! And quit complaining.

[t_time]

You should tell him it triggers old bad feelings from being in an abusive relationship. He should be mature enough to respect that. If he doesn't it's time to say goodbye. Because that's not a healthy relationship if he dosnt respect boundaries

[Multi_personality]

You need to tell him exactly what you wrote here.
Set boundaries and don't back down- If he can't understand your trigger then he needs to go.

[Drumlin2001]

Sit him down for proper talk. Let him know that he either stops or you can't continue the relationship.

[Sasha0426]

If he knows it bothers and refuses to stop, then yeah. Call it quits. Especially, if he knows about your past relationship. He obviously doesn’t respect your feelings.

[Spiritofn]

Go a little psycho on him over it if he doesn’t listen give him an ultimatum “titties or tickles” 🤨

[serious_miss419]

Kick him to the kerb! He’s a douchbag - his problem not yours girl

[Shy_Steve]

Yes you should breakup with him, People have broken up over a lot less.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you tell him that instead of a bunch of strangers?

[ManhattanMan1212]

Can I ask you a question?

[Opinion Owner]

@ManhattanMan1212 why?

[ManhattanMan1212]

Would you dump a great man if he only has a average size penis?

[Opinion Owner]

@ManhattanMan1212 I don't know even know what's average

[ManhattanMan1212]

Average is 6 inches

[Opinion Owner]

@ManhattanMan1212 you mean during arousal?

[ManhattanMan1212]

Yes during arousal

[HugeDikEng]

Yup, break up with him. He clear autistic