Why does my boyfriend intentionally irritate me?

[Anonymous]

He does it all the time. He finds out what annoys me, and keeps doing it untill I explode after tons of warnings. I sometimes feel the urge to hit him, but I remove myself from his space to cool down and he gets offended by that. Either he is poking my sister and I have to listen to her "stahp", or tickling me I don't like that (domestic abuse in my childhood reasons) and interrupting my speeches, tickling my nose and grabbing me so I can't move (again, childhood flashbacks) or annoying sounds. He says he loves seeing me get mad because I look adorable, but most of the time, it doesn't end well. How can I stop him? We love each other, but this seems to be a huge problem. Any advice?

[Kayver]

Ahhh, men think it's "cute" when we're mad, as if we're not allowed to express real anger and frustration. I would sit him down and tell him. Does he know about the abuse from the past? If not, that needs to be something you open up to him about I think. He also sounds really immature and annoying. If you doesn't stop, it could lead to you snapping on him, which opens up a whole new can of worms.

[ModernSexy]

It's called the lack of maturity. In my opinion I also consider it the lack of brains but that's just my opinion. He is young. I would tell him that he's on the edge of being dropped unless he grows up really quickly. Fact is he won't. Becoming mature takes a while and doesn't happen overnight. The 20 years old. Is this the guy you want for a lifetime? I doubt it. Therefore I drop

[purpleluv]

Maybe tell him exactly why it annoys u so he understands it's an unpleasant memory.
He should stop after that at least I mean why would he want u to be sad remembering the past right?

[RobAtomic]

I would recommend a verbal warning then progressively more damaging and painful pokes, chops and punches... if that doesn't work kick him to the curb... when you tell some one that you do not like what they are doing and they continue anyway, that's not a person who respects you and needs to be corrected...

[Asker]

Thank you, you get me. He didn't grow in a home like mine. He doesn't understand certain things and what scars they leave. He didn't have any problems growing up, meanawhile me and my sister were abused at home with divorced parents and severely bullied at school. Me and my sis are both diagnosed with depression and PTSD and have trouble connecting with people normally, so I do everything in my power to tolerate his actions as those problems are in my head. I think physical violence wouldn't solve anything, so I do what my therapist advise me and remove myself from the situation. I think I should tell him his actions don't only make me mad, they bring flashbacks of traumatic experience I've had troughout my childhood. But thank you for getting on the same ground as me. You get my urges when it comes to anger issues :3

[RobAtomic]

hey I know that violence is wrong but I also know that guys can be very dense and what you believe is a very obvious request to stop could in fact never impact his brain so a good schmack wakes him up... lol

[Asker]

I did hit him once, and I immediately started crying. I hit a person I love, no matter what he did, I hit him. I couldn't believe it. It was far worse than just waiting untill he stopped annoying me. I felt like a disgusting piece of crap. I could see myself hitting my future husband, or even child. Even a mild slap, this isn't for me. I couldn't bare the look on his face full of surprise and horror in his eyes... No matter what he did. I still can't forgive myself for doing that altrough he brushed it off...

[RobAtomic]

wow... I didn't know he was a sensitive bully... or are you a black belt...

[dinu12345]

He still loves you I think. But as he is telling, it is his madness for you. Please dont let him away. If you have sincerity tolerate him...

[Asker]

I have no intentions of leaving him. I love him and I wish nothing but us being happy together. So I'm asking for opinions how to stop him from irritating me. Otherwise, I wouldn't be asking rhis question ;)

[dinu12345]

You tell him cut and right... but with a soft touch.. or u start irritating him. Then he stops

[Becky01]

tell him about your past and the effect his behavior has on you. my father loves to set my mother off for his kicks to.

[lopflodin]

seems like he's a shit stirrer he won't stop its who he is im the same

[TonyRyanAgain]

Sounds like an immature boy, find a grown up.

[Walls_and_Doors]

Fun.