What can I do with this girl in this situation?

[Anonymous]

me and this girl talk and text every single day for 3 weeks now. She said she does like me and we were going to meet for the first time. We're almost two hours away. Very important to know she was recently divorced. She messaged me today which shocked me but basically saying she is not ready for a relationship and deleted her dating app. She says she may have jumped into it too soon but her past is still haunting her and she's hurting. Anything i can do to help her or should i just let her be?

[BasedBaeBecca]

If you care about her and want to be there for her, you could offer her your support and empathy during this time. Let her know that you're there for her and available to talk if she needs someone to vent to. Make sure to respect her decision and give her the space and time that she needs to reflect and process her feelings. It can be difficult to deal with a recent break-up and it takes time to heal and move on. All you can do is to be there for her and offer your kindness and understanding.

[Asker]

thank you, i did tell her that. so up to her. I really like her but her ex husband treated her like shit. He was really controlling and never let her do anything and pretty narcissistic. So i told her that and if she wants to respond sure, if not that is ok i respect her no matter what.

[nolookingbackx]

Oh boy, narcissistic abuse is the worst. It will take a lot of time to heal and therapy would be very helpful as well. I am still healing. I am sure she will appreciate your kindness and understanding.

[Asker]

@nolookingbackx i'am a guy and my mindset it kinda like dont think about the past and just focus on the future but learn from the past, i told her this. she keeps saying its not her past but i think it is. I was very upfront and we spoke about a lot of things. She told me even though she was married, she wants to get to know the guy before sex and this is only when marriage (she is a very traditional girl). I told her i will wait, i have no issue at all. I'am very respectable and she even told me she never met a guy like me before, which is why at first i was confused why she said this to me today. I do understand now. Well i can be there for her, its up to her. I actually have never been in a relationship before and working on myself and waiting for the one and i told her this. Maybe i was a little to pushy to meet her? Then again i can see where she is coming from. I'am willing to wait for her. She is a really good person but i feel bad because i can tell she was really hurt before. It sucks but i will let her be and if she still wants to talk like normal or friends that is good with me. Also i'am sorry guys did that to you. I think some guys just are not patient. I dont have much experience with girls (she knows this) so i'am 28, i can wait longer haha. i been waiting for sometime already lol. As long as she is comfortable that is all i care about. i'am someone who would put her happiness before mine so if she needs time, yes i will respect that.

[kylee2437]

Let her be. This seems like you would have to put in an excessive amount of effort for nothing in return.

[Asker]

Thank you for opinion. I just offered her if she needed anything I'll be there

[kylee2437]

@asker to each it’s own, you need to have a backbone at some point though

[Asker]

I understand what you're saying

[Anonymous]

I can understand her. There's not much you can do. Showing her some understanding and saying that she can reach out anytime would do.

[Asker]

that is what i did. Thanks for your advice. i told her forget anything to do with dating, anything she needs i will be there for her or she wants to talk about anything in general.

[Opinion Owner]

That's great! I am really impressed, you acted like a true gentleman and simply a mature person. When I had a very bad time after a recent breakup guys I've met didn't care how I felt, they just expected me to be with them because they wanted it.

[Asker]

i'am a guy and my mindset it kinda like dont think about the past and just focus on the future but learn from the past, i told her this. she keeps saying its not her past but i think it is. I was very upfront and we spoke about a lot of things. She told me even though she was married, she wants to get to know the guy before sex and this is only when marriage (she is a very traditional girl). I told her i will wait, i have no issue at all. I'am very respectable and she even told me she never met a guy like me before, which is why at first i was confused why she said this to me today. I do understand now. Well i can be there for her, its up to her. I actually have never been in a relationship before and working on myself and waiting for the one and i told her this. Maybe i was a little to pushy to meet her? Then again i can see where she is coming from. I'am willing to wait for her. She is a really good person but i feel bad because i can tell she was really hurt before. It sucks but i will let her be and if she still wants to talk like normal or friends that is good with me. Also i'am sorry guys did that to you. I think some guys just are not patient. I dont have much experience with girls (she knows this) so i'am 28, i can wait longer haha. i been waiting for sometime already lol. As long as she is comfortable that is all i care about.

[Anonymous]

Nothing, move on and try to find girls who live nearer you.