What to do if I start to have feelings for a female best friend?

[Anonymous]

Recently we’ve talked a lot on the phone, whether it’s her wanting attention or the lack of it from her boyfriend, I just enjoy her presence, and the feelings are coming back, any advice?

[ZamerZ]

Aren't best friends supposed to be talking a lot and close with each other anymore? Or did she ignore you for a while in favor of her boyfriend and now that he's not available in some way, she crawled back to you? That makes a big difference here. If the latter is the case, obviously don't let her treat you like a piece of furniture that she can put in a storage room and take out again if she feels like it. Especially not if she knows that you have feelings for her.

Or did she go silent for a while because she's in a relationship? That happens, especially in the honeymoon phase. Real life happens and it's not like you can keep in touch with friends like back in school. Maybe she noticed that and wanted to make room for you in her life again. According to you, you're her best friend - so duh. I'd also want to talk to my bestie more if I had the chance to.

In the end, I suppose you need a lot of self-awareness to know how much of her attention you can handle without getting hurt in the process. She's your best friend, so treat her like it. Be honest and upfront with her if you can't stand it anymore. If you think you can be a good friend without your feelings getting in the way, just be kinder to yourself and don't overthink it. Just don't push yourself if it becomes too much.

[Asker]

I think this was the best reply! Very well said cuz you’re right! I’ll keep those things in mind 😺

[Anonymous]

Yes. The more self respect you develop, the less time you will have to be someones emotional pillow or second fiddle to their partner. After she's talked with you on the phone about how little attention her boyfriend is giving her... it's not stopping her from still being with him, still being physically intimate with him and sharing her body, mind and soul with him! Not you. Wake up! Men don't realise how valuable their time and attention is to women, but women do realise this so they try to encourage you to give it away for free.

[Asker]

Tru, that actually makes a lot of sense, you’re right! I’m getting the short end of the stick, I need to look for other girls

[Opinion Owner]

For the most part, friendships between men and women will have issues unless they both have zero chance of being attracted to each other (rare). But the woman won't mind this because she can use it to her advantage. Otherwise she would just be friends with another woman...

[zato1abuser]

Probably the best option is to try finding another crush. Talk to other girls. Especially if you are really good friends. If you aren't very close you can also just reduce the time you speak to her. Don't just be the guy to fill the gap.

[Asker]

True, I have talked to some girls recently, cuz yea she’s my best friend , and I do distance myself from her sometimes tho lol

[Anonymous]

Plan to mess up things between her and boyfriend and then proceed

[Asker]

I wish lmao, the dudes nice tho

[Opinion Owner]

But he would look "nicer" at his funeral
That's another chance for you to hug her tight while she is crying

[In_Trance]

this is why men and women can't be friends

[Asker]

True,