My best friend has feelings for me, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

My best friend and I have been friends since we were 10. In High School graduation day, she told me she is gay. I was surprised because I never suspected anything, but that didn’t change the way I treated my friend, she has always been the same kind person. In all this years, I stood by her side to face her most difficult situations: coming out to her family and friends, and facing the rejection of some of her family and friends. Anyway, yesterday she came over to my house and told me she has always had feelings for me even when she was in relationships. I told her didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I avoided the conversation because I obviously don’t feel the same way, I see her like a sister. What should I do? How can I tell her I don’t feel the same way as her?

[ChrisMaster69]

She’s your friend and is finding her way with her sexuality.

just be open and honest with her, have a chat and explain you are straight and do not have the same feelings other than close friendship.

in a way it’s no different to a guy friend saying the same thing to you, just as it’s her sexuality side of things, a bit more care is required.

this will not be the first time she feels this way and the other person is straight.

my sister came out at 14 as bi and she had load of crushes on girls who were never going to go any place.

it’s not like there is a big sign etc that indicates a persons sexuality, a friend has a Demisexual badge and often gets chatted up by girls, and she explains she’s straight.

[Asker]

Thank you, this is a very good advice and good way of viewing the situation

[JustinTheGreat]

Just politely explain that you’re not into women (assuming you’re straight) and that you’re flattered but you don’t want to lead her on and hurt her feelings.
Hopefully she is mature enough to understand

[maximumpower]

had a couple good friends "come out" to me, as well, although they didn't consider me a possible partner. expect this is a rough time/experience for her in more than one regard. she's laid it out there and been up front with you. as a friend you should consider doing same. if it's not "for you," then let her know but also reinforce the idea that divulging her orientation doesn't change the way YOU feel about her. leave her the opportunity to vent and maybe even get mad at you. if she values your friendship then she'll be back. it's a tough one, that's fer sure. read up on the subject and think about it before delving in to a deep conversation about it.

[Pyrofox]

Best to be straight forward and explain you don't want her spending her time thinking you will magically be hers. Go find someone else so you don't have to worry your own pretty littleind that she will be single all her life.

[RobT312]

Just be honest the way you wrote it here. It was well said

[NathanDavis]

just tell her as it is... that you just do not feel the same way

[exitseven]

You just need to tell her. She is your friend and she will understand.

[Anonymous]

You aren't gay simple