In your lifetime experience, do happier and 'lasting' couples have a bigger age gap or smaller age gap?

[colaman94]

And similarities or more differences, in personalities, mannerisms, interests or nah? Or blah, even? 👀🤣🤪😋🧐🧐

Greater gap

Smaller gap

More similar

More different

I wouldn't know/never been lucky/single life 😉

[Minxxie]

Worldwide the average age gap is only around 4.5 years, which means, that even with all the unfortunately extreme age gaps like child marriages in the world, most normal couples have a very small gap.

I would be open to an age gap but at the moment I have a 10-month age gap with my boyfriend and it's just easier, it's more natural.

[nastyb]

A five-year age gap statistically means you're 18 percent more likely to divorce (versus just 3 percent with a 1-year age difference), and that rate rises to 39 percent for a 10-year age difference and 95 percent for a 20-year age gap

https://nypost.com/2014/11/11/the-bigger-the-age-gap-the-shorter-the-marriage/

[colaman94]

I wonder why. Different memories that neither share? Different life experiences that neither shares? Other factors or something's im missing 🫢🧐

[nastyb]

@colaman94

just imagine you're 35 years old, being married to a 60 yr old grandma... imagine spending the next 30 years of your life being with a senior citizen.

well there's your answer

[colaman94]

Oh I meant even the 10 year age gaps, I wondered why the studies said they rose with divorce lol. Like, is it the lack of shared technology memories the lack of shared brands or the lack of "I didn't grow up with windows 10 I grew up with windows 98" lol 🤭🤭 and similar sore points? Genuinely asking please 🥺

[nastyb]

@colaman94

you need to understand that things may work out in a couple that is 25 years and 45 years old. But things change as they get older. By the time , the younger party is 45. they will find themselves being married to a senior citizen who can't keep up with them in any way shape or form.

eventually this younger party will start feeling more like a nurse / caretaker than a wife.

[Rei13]

I went with smaller age gap. Most successful couples I know are pretty close age with the guy usually a little bit older. Then I know a few successful ones between 5-10yrs but the 5 is still a small gap

[petitedollbabee]

Age has never been a factor in successful long term relationships that I’ve seen. I’ve seen relationships with no age gap, the couple were literally born days apart, and I’ve also seen relationships with 20 year age gaps. Age doesn’t always determine success. It’s all about chemistry, compatibility and emotional intelligence/maturity.

[colaman94]

Any insights then what did determine success, tell us your secrets 🧐😃🧐🥹🧐

[colaman94]

Oh wise gag user 😌

[petitedollbabee]

You’d have to ask couples with successful long term relationships. I’m only speaking of what I’ve seen.

[colaman94]

Okay 👍

[nastyb]

nypost.com/.../

[petitedollbabee]

@nastyb a study of only 3,000 people done almost 10 years ago.. not very accurate.

[nastyb]

@petitedollbabee

an Australian study from 2017Trusted Source found:

Heterosexual couples with large age gaps had a faster decline in relationship satisfaction in their first 6 to 10 years of marriage than similarly aged couples.
Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction.
Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.

A Korean study from 2015Trusted Source found that age gaps in long-term relationships could impact each partner’s likelihood of experiencing depression. In particular, it found that same-aged couples had the lowest rates of depression

psychcentral.com/.../age-difference-in-relationships

[nastyb]

Both men and women report initially being more satisfied in their marriage when their spouses were younger. Though couples with an age gap start out more satisfied, their satisfaction drops more dramatically over time.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../can-couples-with-major-age-differences-stay-together

[petitedollbabee]

@nastyb Hmm okay, that’s very interesting! It definitely depends on the individuals though at the end of the day. Studies can provide general results but there’s always people outside of that box.

[nastyb]

@petitedollbabee

general results= the vast majority

rare exceptions don't make the vast majority.

[petitedollbabee]

@nastyb Results only taken from those who participated in the studies, yes ☺️

[nastyb]

@petitedollbabee

go do some research on the internet, there is no data from any legitimate, peer reviewed source that proves large age gap marriages last longer than similarly age couples.

[petitedollbabee]

@nastyb Are the studies only based on marriages?

[nastyb]

@petitedollbabee

go do some research on your own. 99% of the legitimate peer reviewed research articles out there say similarly aged couples tend to divorce less.

[Cuminginside]

@nastyb I guess this is baseline research we'll have to wait for the final result.

[sexy_julia]

My husband and I have an age gap of 35 years. I first met him when I was 19 and he was 54. We became lovers literally six days later and got married two months after that. It was love at first sight. I love him so much, and I am proud to be his wife. He’s now 69, and I will soon be 34. Just a few more months and we’ll have been married for 15 years. We have seven kids, our youngest born three days ago. I’m also stepmother to my husband’s three grownup kids from his previous marriage, and they’re older than me.

[WhitneySnow]

My dad and his girlfriend were twenty years apart, but then he got back together with my mom and they’re much closer in age. But I have no idea if it’s going to last.

In general, I think couples who are closer in age will last longer. But not always. There are always exceptions.

[jeffend888]

Large age gaps don't work in the long term. They are not sustainable for a litany of reasons.

It's fun for awhile.

[colaman94]

How large is large my man? ♂️ 😈

[JacobJordan]

yes. age really is not all that important. what is important is what things people have in common. upbringing, education etc. if you have nothing in common more than likely will not work. but if you have things in common the relationship can work. what truly determines the length of a relationship is effort. from both parties. no relationship works if 1 person or no one is putting in effort. both have to put effort in

[nastyb]

nypost.com/.../

[JacobJordan]

@nastyb if that is your attempt at proof to the contrary you don't seem to be taking into consideration that death does not necessitate the end of a relationship for some people. not to mention that the article even lists everything I said would be contributory towards a relationship and gave comparison stats. not to mention the sample size was only 3k people. which is.0000375% of the world's population and the more people you survey the more the results change. not to mention some countries do not even have divorce marriage is marriage so this really only would apply to primarily western countries like the US which regularly see divorce happen. i mean lets be real by that logic marriage in general has a higher chance of divorce given 40% of first marriages end in divorce. and 80% are initiated by women. blah blah blah.

[nastyb]

@jacobjordan

data shows that the larger the age gap, the more likely the divorce.

numbers matter, not your butt hurt feelings.

[nastyb]

[if that is your attempt at proof to the contrary you don't seem to be taking into consideration that death does not necessitate the end of a relationship for some people.]

if being married to grandma then spending the remaining 38 years of your life dying alone is appealing to you, you ahead.

[JacobJordan]

@nastyb wife response: he is already married and he actually knows what he is talking about. a sample size of 3,000 is way to small to claim it counts as data or even evidence of any outcome. there are 8b people on earth the sample size is not even 1% of earth's population. meaning it best it is a confirmation bias post.

[JacobJordan]

wife response: did you know that the divorce rate world wide is around 1% or 1.8 per 1k people. in western countries it is 40% or about 15 per 1000. which means if the stat you claim as valid were to be applied around the world it would rapidly plummet to levels that show you are being confrontational rather than utilizing thinking.

[nastyb]

@jacobjordan

i don't even know what you're talking about. you sound mentally ill person rambling.

[nastyb]

Both men and women report initially being more satisfied in their marriage when their spouses were younger. Though couples with an age gap start out more satisfied, their satisfaction drops more dramatically over time.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../can-couples-with-major-age-differences-stay-together

[nastyb]

an Australian study from 2017Trusted Source found:

Heterosexual couples with large age gaps had a faster decline in relationship satisfaction in their first 6 to 10 years of marriage than similarly aged couples.
Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction.
Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.

A Korean study from 2015Trusted Source found that age gaps in long-term relationships could impact each partner’s likelihood of experiencing depression. In particular, it found that same-aged couples had the lowest rates of depression

psychcentral.com/.../age-difference-in-relationships

[JacobJordan]

@nastyb so you are looking for reports that confirm what you believe. That is called confirmation bias. Meanwhile my wife and I looked at the world wide effect and listed the reality. You can stop going for confirmation bias and you can stop trying to insult either of us that just proves your argument has absolutely zero basis in reality. Which is the reality as you are looking at only countries that will confirm your bias. It is honestly disappointing that you lack the basic critical thinking skills to understand why your argument is so weak. You have a nice day. You'll understand what we mean when you get older and have some more life/world experience.

[nastyb]

@jacobjordan

go do some research online. go do some research on your own. 99% of the legitimate peer reviewed research articles out there say large age difference couples tend to divorce more.

[nastyb]

All of the sources I have presented are from very legitimate sources.

[JacobJordan]

@nastyb we did do research which is why we listed that the world wide divorce rate is 1.8 per 1,000 people which is a.18% divorce rate world wide. .18% you really need to apply some critical thinking because reality is. You. Are. Wrong. and yet you continue to insist you are right simply because you googled a few countries that confirm what you claim. That is evidence of an absence of critical thinking. You are of course unable to accept being wrong so you instead continue by pushing the same handful of reports that support your opinion when the reality actually states that the leading causes of divorce world wide are...
1. Infidelity
2. Domestic violence
3. Money
4. Financial disagreements
5. Religion
6. Addiction
7. Lack of intimacy
8. Communication
9. Inadequate preparation for marriage
10. Lack of commitment
11. Marrying to young (as in early in life)
12. Conflict
13. Lack of family support.

Strange if age was such a factor in divorce around the world as you claim it should be on that list. But it isn't.

Oh look Forbes has a list as well.
Money
Lack of intimacy
Opposing values/morals
Infidelity
Parenting differences
Differing lifestyles
Addiction
Domestic violence
Financial stress
Conflict

[JacobJordan]

Oh but wait there's more
National library of medicine
Lack of commitment
Infidelity
Conflict
Marrying too young
Money
Addiction
Domestic violence
Health problems
Lack of support from family
Religious differences
Little or no premarital education

Oh fun even divorce. com
Infidelity
Lack of commitment
Conflict
Intimacy
Communication issues
Violence
Opposing values/morals
Addiction
Lack of intimacy
One sided relationship
Money
Marrying too young
Lack of shared interests.

Every single website when you search "causes of divorce worldwide" lists the exact same thing. Take the L child you are wrong and no amount of confirmation bias will change that

[sexy_julia]

@jacobjordan Well spoken. I had her blocked because I don’t like her bias nor do I tolerate it. So, whatever she said wouldn’t interest me. However, you make a lot of good points, and it looks like you’ve really done research of your own instead of claiming that you have.

[sexy_julia]

@jacobjordan I’m married to a man far older than me. I put up with society’s negativity all the time, but @nastyb really hurt me emotionally.

[JacobJordan]

@sexy_julia sometimes people like that need a good helping of humble berry pie. and yeah I have always been a evidence kinda guy. it really is such a strange claim and stance to take given it is unraveled with a 4 word google search and there are just millions of lists that list causes of divorce. and it lists them based on frequency with the last ones being 1-4% frequency meaning age divorces are so infrequent it does not even make it on a list. my wife is older than I am as well so I also have first hand experience with such a claim. my initial post is actually in relation to my relationship with my wife because when we first met she thought the difference was going to be a problem but after a few weeks she realized that just because I was younger we actually were at almost the exact same point in life in terms of morals and values, education, similarities because we had almost identical upbringings.

[Anonymous]

Most couples I know have an age gap of 3 years, usually older man.

[colaman94]

Thanks 👍

[Likes2drive]

Usually within 5 years of each other or 7 depending when they got together

[colaman94]

As in lasting or not lasting? 😳

[colaman94]

Would such a couple with such an age gap

[Likes2drive]

Lasting a long time

[colaman94]

Hooray 👏🎉

[Brittanykeen88]

I'm currently dating a man two years younger. I've dated ten years younger and ten years older. So far the two years difference is the best. Any more you start not being able to relate to them.

[LiamJHayden]

Until her friends and family butted in, my best relationship BY FAR was with a lady 17 years older than I am. For close in age, I've only had a couple that were within five years and those were all short term.

[HighValue]

The ones that I have seen that have been together for 30 to 50 years have an age gap of 7 to 15 years most of the time.

[MikeTheBartender]

I love dating younger, all in on reasonable gaps.

[Date_a_Snob]

Usually been 5 to 8 years difference with the man always being older

[pickles77]

With a larger age gap there are some hurdles to overcome but if you adapt it can work out

[KaDooKan]

I have a month and a half age gap... she is the cougar