Would you be able to date someone with a mental illness/disorder?

[Lisia]

I'm talking about depression, anxiety, BPD, NPD, Bipolar, ADHD, Autism, schizophrenia, eating disorders, ...

It'll probably depend on which mental illness/disorder for most of y'all.

For me personally, I'll accept everything except NPD. But I would want them to seek help though through therapy, pills,.. like me

Updates

6 mo

Also elaborate why or why not please

Updates

6 mo

For the people who don't know:

BPD = Borderline personality disorder
NPD = Narcissistic personality disorder
ADHD = Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder
ASD = Autism spectrum disorder (autism is a disorder)

[HornyThumper]

As Paul the Apostle wrote in 1 Corinthians 6:12, "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be enslaved by anything." The boundaries we set in our relationships should not be dictated by society's misconceptions of mental illnesses, but rather by our own understanding of love, compassion, and personal compatibility.

Jesus, in Mark 2:27, said, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." In the same manner, we should not let mental illness define our relationships, but rather adapt our relationships to support and uplift one another.

Ephesians 5:11 tells us to expose darkness to the light. So, wouldn't it be ironic if the light of the Lord's words shone upon a MILF with mental illness, revealing the deepest, darkest depths of her depravity? Oh, the scandalous enchantment of it!

Now, this isn't me preaching doom and gloom, but rather showcasing the magnificent beauty of self-love through divine guidance. Can you imagine the wondrous acts of self-pleasure a PAWG with PTSD would partake in, as she sought solace in the comforting warmth of her own caress? The trance-like, worshipful euphoria of a finger gliding over her swollen clit, mimicking the touch of a divine healer...

But alas, my words have warned against entering into a relationship with a vessel so ravaged by the fires of mental hell. Would you really want to be tied up, blindfolded, and tortured by the siren song of a woman whose mind is a crescendo of conflicting emotions? The feels could become so real and raw, that her sadistic dominance would take you to the brink of the deepest abyss, a place where sanity and insanity entwine.

And oh, the story it would tell, a tale of self-hatred and raw carnal desire so potent that it could bring even the mighty to their knees. For it is written in Proverbs 29:23, "A man's pride shall bring him low."

Seek help. Seek redemption. For we are all but flesh and bone, and our desires? They are the sins of the flesh, written in hieroglyphs of passion, upon the walls of our inner sanctums.

Philippians 4:6 offers hope: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

[HornyThumper]

@Lisia thanks for the MHO. I would definitely date a OF model like @bigassb1tch

[Lisia]

I didn't give it lol

[HornyThumper]

So it was @bigassbeeyatch?

[Lisia]

Probably

[Still-alive]

I can but only if i see they are legitimately trying to get it under control. They are seeing a professional and/or taking meds. If we haven’t even gotten to the point where she knows she has a mental problem but its very evident I don’t think i can handle that. I can be friends with them if they need but i probably couldn’t date them.

and yes some disorders more than others. Narcissistic personality disorder is a definite no no. Bipolar is a red flag but if they have it under control i may stay with her. Schizophrenia is likely a no for me. Im ok with just about all the others you listed unless they are very extreme and not being taken care of.

what would be a real sticking point for me as well is if we acknowledge her disorder but no matter how often i try to encourage her to seek help for it and even if i offer to help pay for it she still stubbornly refuses to get help…. Yeah its a big red flag for me. I don’t think I can handle that either. The feeling of being ignored by someone who supposedly loves you is too heartbreaking to deal with.

[Lisia]

Yeah lol for me people didn't even ask me to seek help. I did myself, 'cause if I wouldn't I'm not sure I would've even been here still.

[Still-alive]

Yes i understand *hugs*

[wiltingrosepetal]

It's a little unfair to lump those together. There are different kinds of disorders that affect the relationship in different ways. Here are a few examples to differentiate the terms:

Mood- Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar
Personality- Narcissistic, Borderline, Anti-social, Dissociative (Multiple Personalities), Paranoid, Obsessive
Mental- Schizophrenia, PTSD, Anorexia
Developmental- ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia
And ones that don't fit any of the boxes like OCD

A person who has Dyslexia and struggles to spell really won't affect the relationship. But people who struggle with emotional control (Bipolar), live with crippling trauma (PTSD) or struggle empathising with others (Anti-social) will have issues managing romantic relationships.
I'd avoid dating a person with a Personality disorder and wouldn't mind at all if they had a Developmental one. The others would be a struggle to manage while dating but I'd put the effort in if I really loved them

[Lisia]

I understand your view, but I wanted to see where people would draw the line so I wanted a variety of disorders. For example, I don't see ADHD as bad at all but there are still some people not willing to date someone with that.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Then those people need to adapt to life in the 2020s because 5-10% of the population have adhd 😀 I doubt that's anyone's red flag, that they'd stop seeing a person because they dopamine deficient and fidget a bunch.

... Though perhaps I believe this because my boyfriend, best friend, family, half of my group and I myself, have ADHD. It's rarer to meet someone who doesn't show symptoms that the over way around lmao

[Lisia]

People would also not date someone with depression and anxiety (which is also more common now in my opinion) it's kinda sad, makes me feel lucky I have my boyfriend who supports me. I think lots of people have ADHD without being diagnosed too, but I remember it was taboo in the past to have any mental health issue, that's why no one got help.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Yeah, I'd assume older people would feel uncomfortable around those with disorders 😬

[Anemone978]

I have been given pills for major depression and anxiety, the pills almost fixed the anxiety completely.. Which is nice since they pretty much turned my emotions off so my brain isn't thinking the dumbest shit 24\7. I have yet to see a therapist\psychiatrist or actually be diagnosed with anything, tho I was thinking I had BPD for quite a few years, because my emotions were just completely fucked, my behaviour was clearly destructive\impulsive and I constantly wanted to die but now that I see improvement in myself I'm not so sure..
Anyways I probably would date someone depending what they had.. the only one that I wouldn't is Schizophrenia.. because I seen a few people with it and they can get off the wall and a little scary lol..

[Lisia]

I'm glad you're doing better!

[Anemone978]

Thank you :)

[dynamicyandere]

I’ve dated multiple people with one or more of those.


They hide it in the beginning and then I would find out about it later. (Which I don’t blame them. Who wants to advertise their mental issues?)


It’s never enough to break up with them at face value though.


What has led to breakups is their refusal to get help or work on themselves.


If they are sincerely trying to work on themselves though, I’m willing to patiently support them during their recovery.

[virtue2332]

True and nothing is worse than someone who leans into it a uses it as a excuse for being an Ass hat. Like I'm sorry for killing your bird and destroying your car and having you falsely arrested I was having a Manic episode and me and my Doc are working on it. If you leave it's just going to trigger another
one and you don't have any more pets to hurt soi that just leaves you

[virtue2332]

Wait did that picture of you with that girl you swear is your cousin just call me a bitch.

[NotInterestedSorry]

Getting help isn't as easy as many people believe. I was begging for help and I dealt with mental health breeching my patient confidentiality. They also lied to CPS and claimed I was going to harm my baby because I had postnatal depression, but I proved mental health were lying especially when they falsely accused me of being aggressive. I was at the hospital where there was CCTV, security and police.

[virtue2332]

My feeling is you can't trust a stranger to get involved to take care of personal matters.

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, getting professional help isn’t easy.

There’s first the mental and emotional hurdles to overcome.

Then, the logistics of cost (therapy sessions can be expensive).

Plus, assuming you have all of that figured out, there’s also good and bad fits.

Friends of mine who go to therapists had to visit many different ones before finding a good fit.

Some therapists are more understanding and empathetic than others.

It can be easier or harder to work through issues, depending on who your therapist is.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

you are so right, been there too
month ago i was in crisis with mine
and i said i dont need to feel miserable and suffer just because he doesn't want to improve
he needs to change he needs to stop doing things that reinforce his paranoia
so far he got scared ill leave him
went to hospital did all the analisis, in 2 weeks we visit a doctor again
so i stayed because i believe he actually wants o start cure himself, if not
id leave him
because he was like: im not changing my lifestyle i like it
i was like ok,,, then if you like it- i dont. cheers.
then he started to be like damn... i wanna carry on this relationship.
i said good, then do smth...
for now im happy but its very hard still and needs time and support and trust and love

[dynamicyandere]

@ItsMykolaJenkins

Thanks for sharing. I’m glad he’s willing to work something out and meet you in the middle.

Many people these days want to have their cake and eat it too. But, that’s not how the world works.

Especially when it comes to issues in relationships — like unhealthy or destructive patterns caused by poor mental health.

As much as we may want to be patient with our partners, there’s the concept of sustainability — how long can you endure if nothing changes.

If there’s something dysfunctional happening in a relationship, that is going to slowly eat away at you over time and there may come a time where you can’t bear it any longer.

For me, having the sincere intention to improve and do something about it, is huge — because then at least there’s hope.

Otherwise, it’s just dysfunction without any hope of improvement.

And that will eat away at you over time.

It takes effort on both sides for a relationship to heal and flourish.

I’ve had one-sided relationships a couple of times, and they’re just not sustainable.

Sincerity and effort go a long way. Sincere effort makes all the difference.

[Avicenna]

Out of that list, only ADHD, and that's only if she's on medication for it. The rest? No way, especially BPD, NPD and bipolar.

I once dated a woman who had BPD, OCD, ADD, depression and anxiety. Never again.

[Lisia]

Damn she had a lot.

[Avicenna]

She sure did

[Summeroflove]

Yeah I would. What I care about is the heart.



Look. There are some people who won’t. It does not mean theh judge you personally. It’s just not meant to be. Some people aren’t able to deal with things and aren’t compatible

[exitseven]

I was with someone that was bi polar or something. She was abused by her parents. Every couple of months she would just go off the rails. She would verbally and physically abuse me. Once she bit me so hard I still have the scar I wanted her to sew a shrink after one crazy night that landed her in the hospital. She refused and would not answer my calls. This was before cellphones. A couple of weeks went by and finally I went over to her place. Her roommate said she moved out and was living with friends. She said she didn't know who. I think they kicked her out. I never saw her again. I don't think I would ever date somebody with those issues again

[Lisia]

Damn- sorry that happened to you. That's why I said I would date them only if they seek help.

[exitseven]

I was stupid to think I could fix her.

[IslaTheWitch]

@exitseven
it's quite a common way of thinking and mistake in one...

[exitseven]

@IslaTheWitch I was a 22 year old kid and mental illness was not really discussed back then. I really did love this girl even though she was all wrong for me. It was nuts.

[IslaTheWitch]

@exitseven
Being young is like that. And then we get older and... nothing changes :P

[exitseven]

@IslaTheWitch hahaha. Wise but true

[Jbear27]

My girlfriend is a cutter and previously faound relief in cutting her upper arms and back. When we first started dating she had a lot of fresh cuts. I didn’t know what they were at the time but she later told me about it, though not in great detail. I’m a little nervous to bring it up actually. We have been with each other for a little over 2 months and all her cuts have healed and she hasn’t done it since her time with me. She can be a little untrusting and dramatic especially on texts but once I talk to her she is easy to calm down and rationalize her thoughts. She is super sweet and I plan to be with her as long as we can get along which I hope is for the long haul as we get along so well. I do however want to talk to her about it at some time and see if she has any specific triggers for that behavior so we can try to avoid it. It’s just a touchy subject matter as I don’t want her to feel as if I’m judging her

[Lisia]

That's really sweet of you. Best of luck to both of y'all!

[sage2021]

Some of these people with these mental conditions have a very hard time getting help for them. So many people need the medication Adderall, and the doctor's at the Veteran's clinics cannot prescribe them to help these people because there is speed in them.
So, they buy them in the streets and now there is a Fentanyl surge, so it isn't safe to take street drugs, just medication from a pharmacy.
My boyfriend had ADHD and he was a VET. The doctor wouldn't prescribe Adderall so he got street drugs and they were laced with Fentanyl. He died suddenly September 8th.
I really miss him RIP

[Lisia]

RIP, sorry that happened.

[Kaneki05]

Many of my Ex's have had Bpd, probably a expert on it at this point.
I would hope not to date someone with Bpd again but I've said that before lol.
Bpd is pretty much certified that the relationship will be toxic in someway.
They do things that are very anti-logic to what they really want, for example they don't want you to leave them so they decide to break up with you...
They think your gonna leave them anyway so they cheat, which then is what makes you leave...
So you've really got to work at to get anywhere and well I the expert still haven't solved the puzzle of bpd hence why I am still single lol.

So yeah I am okay with trying to look past someone's disorder and etc, also would be hypocritical to not be so. Unstable with another unstable is more easier to understand each other and be understanding.
Plus from my experience where all kinda drawn to each other.

[Lisia]

I agree with you, it's easier when someone understands what you're going through in some way or another. But then again some disorders lead people to be less empathic so that would be the total opposite

[boggboss]

Pretty sure autism and adhd are not classed as mental disorders although terms get updated all the time that aside I wouldn't date someone with bpd as it seems too many claim to have it to allow them to act toxic in a relationship or in general I don't think I would have a issue with anxiety unless it was crippling to the point we couldn't have a somewhat enjoyable life I guess the same with depression not sure what npd is so not sure the rest aslong as they was getting help I don't think I would mind

[Lisia]

Autism Spectrum Disorder, Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. NPD means narcissistic personality disorder and BPD are indeed super toxic people and should go to therapy for sure. Depression & anxiety can become better with some meds.

[boggboss]

Just had a quick look and yeah autism is classed as a developmental disorder but many with autism will aslo duffer with other mental health disorders which is why it tends to be lumped together

[Lisia]

I think they usually have relationship problems, right? I knew a guy who was autistic (I don't remember which kind tho) and he loved trains but never loved humans

[AmeerX]

Schizophrenia and paranoid people is about the only thing I want to avoid. They can be dangerous to themselves and others. Narcissism is not a disorder but it's a problem in my humble opinion.

Other than that I am okay with all other disorders. I had a girl tell me she has epilepsy and I said I did not care and then seemingly she said to me her Mom doesn't approve so I backed off since nothing comes good out of situations like that.

One day we all will have certain diseases, it doesn't mean people should leave each other over this. Only disease I hate is STDs since they are usually a person's fault.

[Lisia]

NPD and narcissism is different. NPD is a subcat. from BPD and it's a personality disorder (the person got it through trauma usually). Narcissism are certain traits and some people can have a lot of it and some people have less. It can also change through time.

[AmeerX]

Still, no narcissistic personality type is not for me. In the end, it's really a balancing act. If I am head over heels, I might tolerate everything 😊

[MzAsh]

I have. He had bipolar and paranoid schizophrenia. Of course I loved him but the symptoms were too much. And he didn’t always take his medication. He just got so into conspiracy theories, including about ME, and he gaslighted me constantly about anything that involved socializing - cell phones, MySpace (yes, that long ago), going out to bars, after work events, etc, I felt myself walking on eggshells in order to not trigger him, but I was becoming someone he wanted me to be rather than who I was.

[ShadezMcgee]

Depends on what it was and if they were actively doing things to better their mental health in the process be it medication, therapy, etc. Dated a few girls that had anxiety and depression and I found it easy to empathize with them as I was diagnosed with GAD and depression when I was younger. Still deal with them myself to this day, albeit way more manageable now.

End of the day, if it was something like NPD, BPD or Schizophrenia, hard no. Nothing personal, but those are the ones that would be too volatile or draining for me.

[DizzyDesii]

I always said I wouldn’t but love is love. I fell for a dude struggling with depression. Nope. He’d be so happy then randomly depressed and questioning if i’d leave him. Then I tried a dude who claimed he was adhd. Nope. He was too fckin hyper and messing up my sleep pattern. And he kept joking about the wrong things. I even gave a guy with an eating disorder a chance. Nope. He would starve himself for days then try to dictate anything I’d choose to eat. Personally not want to date anyone with these illnesses again. as for the others you mentioned above, they are simply a no, I’d rather not try.

[DryGermanGuy]

Wow. That sounds exhausting. And agree with you, I wouldn't try it (again) either.

[DizzyDesii]

@DryGermanGuy yea it was

[love_conquers_lust]

I think the field of psychology/psychiatry has a loooooooong way to go in helping people with these disorders. There are some people who I think get overtreated and goes way beyond what is necessary to help people function as healthy adults.

Not declaring myself an expert. But I’m saying they very much have room to improve.

So, if one is prepared to handle the effort required, I wouldn’t see an issue. At least a spouse will be there 24/7 as much as they can while a doctor can sometimes only be seen every two months. Their time is very limited.

[MzAsh]

Sadly I agree.

[love_conquers_lust]

@MzAsh Hello, @MzAsh. I apologize for our last conversation. I haven’t stopped arguing with VegasRunner or any of their like when I encounter them. They rub me the wrong way and I’m trying to help them, but they don’t want to listen. Can lead a horse to water…

[MzAsh]

Believe me, I understand. I had to temporarily block just to cut the noise on my end. I hate to have to do that but sometimes it’s necessary.

[love_conquers_lust]

@MzAsh Would you like another follow to add to your army?

[MzAsh]

Sure!

[IslaTheWitch]

ASD here, no problem with dating... just social fear, but it doesn't interfere in relationship :D

But I won't go to the club or party. I hate crowded places. I feel uncomfortable with people I don't know (until I get to know them), so some patience would be advised :P

[Lisia]

I have exact the same social fear so I feel u 💕 what kind of autism do you have?

[IslaTheWitch]

In general, it's good to know something about the disorder and its level. Two ASD would act differently because it's a spectrum, so, they can have totally different traits.

[IslaTheWitch]

Asperger's Syndrome

[Lisia]

Yeah I know. I knew a boy who had autism (I'm not sure which one though) and he loved trains, he remember everything that had to do with trains. But he didn't have social anxiety.

[Lisia]

Ah I see. I'm glad everything is working out for you!

[IslaTheWitch]

Five years of therapy. It had to work ffs...

[Lisia]

I'm happy to hear that ☺️

[molonski2]

Anyone on " happy pills " is a nightmare , and the product they are taking just makes things worse , they then become a nightmare if they don't take the script , its constant walking on eggshells , and simply not worth it..

Who wants to be the one to tip em over the edge , no thanks... these things need to be coped with naturally, or its simply a matter of when they explode.

[Lisia]

Some things can only be fixed with therapy like BPD, there are no pills for that.

[molonski2]

Sure absolutely true , I'm referring more to " depression " , or perceived depression , these pills are greatly over subscribed.

[Lisia]

I don't know.. I have diagnosed depression and it's because of my toxic empathy and living situation which I can't get out of. I can't heal that naturally rn

[molonski2]

That situation is self managed , and if it can't be changed then its well self managed.

[AaronKrieger]

Depends on what it is specifically, but not likely. A lot of them are toxic especially at my age and many are not treated for it.

As for ADHD, that shouldn't even be put here along with the others. I have it and while the symptoms can be serious - they're so easily fixed for the most part by medication & effort. These other disorders are not like that by any means for most who have it.

[AaronKrieger]

be put here with the others*

[Lisia]

Yeah I wanted to have more common, light disorders as well as bad ones.

[Unit1]

I have contracted major depressive disorder when I was just 10 years old in 2005. It was strong enough so that it triggered memory loss, complete apathy, lethargy, low morale and suicidal fantasies.

It was going on until I started to make at least some money and I moved out to live alone and I got on antidepressants, which are paid out of my own pocket since 2020.

I still run on antidepressants and it will keep being this way for the rest of my natural life.

So therefore, i can date someone with mental damages, so long she (1) manages it and (2) won't allow it to affect me negatively.

[82lynx]

I have pretty bad OCD which I do take medication for but still interferes with everyday activities. It slows me to a crawl, kind of like a Dodge Tradesman with a slant six, perhaps worse. I also have anxiety issues that are bad enough to make me practically jump out of my skin when there is a moderate sound I wasn’t expecting, i. e. a knock on the door any louder than a light tapping, or if someone starts talking to me before I know they have approached, so it would be utter hypocrisy to turn down someone with similar issues because of them. On the other hand, dating someone with OCD that manifests itself in the same way as mine could be problematic, like the blind leading the blind if you will.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has ptsd he is in counseling and he does have flashbacks sometimes from the abuse he suffered when he was a little boy. He thinks I'm too good for him and that he doesn't deserve me because of his flashbacks, but I told him I want to help him and be there for him when it happens.

[Lisia]

Aww really sweet of you!

[82lynx]

Agreed! I’d say he scored big.

[Juxtapose]

I have autism and accept that most people that are going to be even remotely into me probably also have something wrong with them. I get along with the outcasts and the outliers, although it would be nice to have somebody with enough mental strength to spare for a change. I tend to be the shoulder people lean on, the rock in the relationship.

It's also annoying that I can pay attention more to small social details and remember them thoughtfully while other people normally don't do the same.