What do you wish you knew about the opposite sex before you started dating?

[QuickToAsk]

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think a more "sharing" style of communication that I favor now would have helped me avoid a lot of misunderstandings when I was younger.

It's the opposite of debating. Debating seeks to prove ourselves right and the other wrong (even the most formal of debates so careful to avoid fallacies). I used to think debating, provided it was careful to avoid fallacies, was the most intelligent and persuasive form of communication. Yet I drove some of my ex-girlfriends mad trying to debate them.

Debating is intended to persuade third parties, like the judge and jury in a courtroom, not the opposition. If we want to persuade the opposition, then sharing how we arrived at our viewpoints with no intent to prove the other wrong tends to be far more persuasive. It also doesn't see the goal as being right; it sees the ultimate goal as developing mutual understanding even if we continue to thoroughly disagree.

So it's the ultimate way of communication to draw two people closer as I see it now is to refrain from debating and take turns sharing.

[grega239]

Their ability to fuck you over without a second thougth. The double standard of what they demand from you but will get offended when you expect reciprocity just to name a few things.

I probably would be so paranoid and distrustful if i knew such things beforehand and wouldn't have invested myself in my previous relationships as much as i did

[TenderFantasy]

There's a lot of stupid, selfish men out there with unbelievably high standards that I don't know if it was even worth it to try to get them to like me. Let alone love me!

[Nikki1989]

I was too trusting of men when I was young. That was my biggest mistake.

[HappyWoman34]

I wish I’d known how similar men are to women.

[QuickToAsk]

Please elaborate on this, HappyWoman. Any real life examples you can share? 👀

[HappyWoman34]

Men express their feelings, much like women do; and think and feel similarly. We’re all human.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I feel like maybe I'm still at that learning stage so I'll stick around to see what lol say

[ChicoFromThe305]

people*