Guys why does my boyfriend never get me little gifts?

[BraxtonsGf]

i give him cute gifts all the time but the only time he gives me them is for anniversarys or holidays and every great ones and a while he'll buy me like a monster when we go out but he never just surprises me with stuff just because. He's only done it like twice

[Summeroflove]

I think you should talk to him. Communicate. Tell him what you want, how you feel, and ask him these questions. Hopefully it’s not one sided. Different love languages could be a thing.

I say. Communication is key.

[Summeroflove]

A lot of ladies and gentlemen just expect their significant other to read thier mind. Not saying you do.
I

[lightbulb27]

diff love languages. he needs trained and educated. you love by way of gifts, he doesn't... not natural for him, he doesn't "get it". he has to learn your language. all covered in a book...

[BarryLiverstone]

You likely haven’t communicated your need for them. What have you said?

[BraxtonsGf]

I tell him, "oh no it's fine I don't want you to waste your money" he does say it's not a waste and he wants to buy stuff but he kinda just goes by that and doesn't buy me stuff

[BarryLiverstone]

Then by saying that you have directly told him not to buy you things. When you told him that what did you mean?

[BraxtonsGf]

It means I want you to buy me stuff without me having to ask for anything or tell you a bunch of stuff I want

[BarryLiverstone]

There you go. Tell him that directly. It’s much more clear than what you originally told him.

But also tell him why you would appreciate small gifts. Reinforce it’s not about how much $ he spends each time but it’s about the gesture. Let him know you have good and bad days, and him surprising you with a small cute gift lights you up and reminds you how much he cares. Even suggest something free like a love letter or a wild flower can also be appreciated and loved by you as he thought of it.

When he isn’t giving you gifts like you are giving him do you feel like it’s not fair; like you think to give him things and he’s saving $ for a truck instead?

[BarryLiverstone]

I’ll let you know in general as a guy we don’t usually grow up buying small cute gifts for our friends and family. We will focus more on big things like saving $ for something. So he’s just not used to the habit of buying you something often

[BraxtonsGf]

Thank you, your like really nice and thanks for helping. Yah I feel like it's a little unfair, but it's just more of the gesture I'm loving for but then ik he's saving for a truck so I don't want him to be wasting that money on me when it could be going towards a truck

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome.

Him spending $10 on something small isn’t a waste of money. It’s not going to hurt his chances on buying his truck. Like I said he’s just thinking about it and you can help train him a bit. Be sure the first few times he does buy you something ( even if you directly tell him what to buy) that you go over the top in appreciating it and brag a bit to others in his presence so he feels good about lighting up your heart.

[BarryLiverstone]

Also tbh, when you tell him : “I don’t want you to waste your money” you are implying that you don’t have much value. Obv not only do you have value but he chose you out of everyone else to be his. So clearly it’s not a waste and you may need to think about how saying things like that affect how others perceive you

I’m not judging as I once also used to say things similar to that and I understand why you phrased it that way. So just giving you direct feedback if it helps

[BraxtonsGf]

Thank you so much. Your actually extremely smart.
This is what I sent. I don't know if it sounds that good but yah.
Hay babe, I know I say I don't want you to spend your money on me because it's a waste but I've gotten you a lot of cute small gifts and bunch of notes. It's not the amount of money, it's never been about money or the price or even how big it is. It's just the gesture of you going out of your way to get me a small gift. The few times youve got me small random gifts for no reason at all just because it literally brightens my day, ong brightens my week. It's so exciting and makes me so happy and I can't ever stop smiling.
Even just a little note that says "I love you" or just a wild flower means a thousand, a million, a billion time more then you'll know.
Ik your trying to save up your money but just tiny small things would make me happier then you'll ever understand

[BarryLiverstone]

Good job. Let me know what he says. Glad you wanna help him clarify your needs in the relationship as clearly you are willing to try and make him happy

[Zestyassmf1997]

I think you’re being a little demanding here. He gets you shit on big occasions and once in a while gets you some other stuff.

[BraxtonsGf]

Sorry, I just spend a lot of money and I hardly get stuff I return. And on those big occasions we both put in the sames effort so are gifts are equal so i feel like I put in a lot of effort

[Zestyassmf1997]

Yeah, it’s not a good thing to be keeping a tab of how much you’ve spent vs how much he’s spent.

[BraxtonsGf]

We don't and i don't it's just I see the gifts in equal value, not money wise in just what he got and the gesture of it

[Zestyassmf1997]

He’s probably trying to save money.

[BraxtonsGf]

Yah, ik he is. He's trying to save up for a truck

[Zestyassmf1997]

Well there you go.

[jahaims]

Because real life isn't a Disney movie

[BraxtonsGf]

Oh dang mb

[RedInnocent68]

Yeah, we’re not as good at that.