Why doesn't my boyfriend buy me flowers, surprise me with gifts or anything romantic?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 months now we were dating for 2 months before we made things official. My birthday passed when we were only 1 month I'm a relationship, which is OK for him to just take me out to dinner and not to get me a gift. During Christmas we were together for 2 months still didn't buy me a gift :( valentines day is coming up and I'm afraid he won't plan or get me anything special. Till this day he still hasn't bought me

Flowers or any thoughtful gifts. Don't get me wrong he takes me out to dinner twice a week and a movie if any good ones are out. But that's about it. I feel like it's unfair because it benefits him as well. I think that he thinks just because he takes me out to dinner twice a week he's doing all the right things. During black Friday I took him shopping which was about $200 worth of clothing. We both work, but sometimes It seems like just because he knows I have the money to buy whatever I want that I can afford to buy my own things. Even just little things like flowers and a bear or anything surprising I'll be satisfied with just the thought and effort counts. And I don't want to necessarily tell him or even have a discussion about this because I would feel embarrassed. plus o don't want him thinking I'm only with him for his money.

[Butterfly5593]

My husband only buys flowers on special occasions and ends up paying $30 for half a dozen red roses which is silly to me. I asked him why he paid so much and his response was because "he" liked the arrangement. Well, I told him that a $10 bouquet at the local store was pretty also. Here over the last 2 months I've mentioned to him about 4 times that I would like flowers on a whim sometimes, instead of it always being on holidays. He has still yet to buy me any. Well, I was at the store and he text me and told me to pick up some beer for him and I said only if you buy me flowers. He said we had a deal. Here it is 4 days later and I still don't have my flowers. So I decided to mention it to him and he gets defensive. The only reason I wanted them occasionally was because they are pretty and it shows me that he was thinking of me. And something as little as a single rose would hace made my entire week. But after ge got mad I told him that he made me feel like I was invisible to him and that I will no longer buy him things. He hurt me with this. Flowers mean a lot to me. But now that I have had to call him out on it, it won't be the same anymore if he ever does get me flowers. I'll always think that he's getting them because he feels he has to so I'll shut up.

[Mellowbell]

I have been in the same shoes, and that is exactly how I felt. It's very hurtful...

[dragonfly6516]

Does he even know that you like this sort of thing? Me personally, I wouldn't want to waste money on a bouquet when it will die in a few days, and I don't need chocolate, I'm already out of shape as is! My husband is the breadwinner, so I let him know the kinds of things I would want and he gets them when ever we have extra money. We also never get luxury items unless we can both get something. If he gets a game or book, I get a game or book, unless it a special occasion, then we resort to the wish lists :)

[Asker]

No he doesn't necessarily know. But I would think it's common sense. Every girl enjoys surprises, flowers, and gifts! And your right about waste of money flowers dying chocolate will just add lbs to my body. But I still think it's the thought and effort that counts. Sometimes he does act stingy with his money. That's probably why he takes me out to dinner because it benefits both of us (unfair).

[dragonfly6516]

Well my point was, not every girl like flowers and chocolate, and how is it stingy to buy both of you dinner? YOU still didn't have to pay! Why not trying surprising him with something small? That might give him the idea that you like surprises. The golden rule is also true in relationships.

[Asker]

I do buy him little gifts. Recently I went to big bear and I bought him a custom made jacket that I personalized myself. And when I go shopping even little things like cookies or his favorite drink I'll go out to my way to buy him it.

[Jonny_]

I believe romance is dying out, even for me... I'd be the sort of guy who would do that on a random whim, but I haven't done it in a good while, Last time I did anything along those lines was buying a single red rose for a girl I wasn't even dating. Since then the thought has rarely entered my mind. But Valentines day is coming up, you may be lucky...

[Asker]

Yes, and since valentines day is coming up.. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and give him till then if he does anything special will determine whether or not er should continue this relationship.

[malekoniky]

Tell him that you want gift!

[Asker]

Too embarrassed to ask him straight out. Plus I don't want him thinking I'm a gold digger :)

[malekoniky]

Girls are afraid to ask for what they want and there is no reason. He invites you out twice a week. Don't be embarrased to tel him what you want. ... Of course don't be like ... I want this I want that. Just tell him what you miss. And it don't have to be gold. Some flower or chockolate if you like it or such don't cost fortune. ... Just ask. He probably want to make you happy and does not know how. You are helping him by tellig him. And also ... yourself. Don't be demanding ... just let him know...

[Asker]

Thank you :)

[Guytalks]

You buy him gifts and do special things for him regularly and he doesn't reciprocate, am I reading you right?

[Asker]

Yes. :(

[Guytalks]

Then I feel your disappointment, it's very important to receive special attention from the person you are with, especially if you are doing that regularly for that person. It doesn't need to be expensive things or incredibly creative and romantic things (though all that time to time is wonderful!), but it really makes the other feel great and unique.

I think you should tell him that sincerely and simply. Tell him receiving cards, flowers time to time from him makes you feel wonderful inside.

[PeterCobra]

https://youtu.be/LQ7wT4CUprQ

[theteabaginglegend69]

either he's broke or he's just not that interested,

[Asker]

He works all the time and he goes out with his friends on the weekends and spends over $200 a night on alcohol. He promised me there's no one else and that he just needs a couple of days, 3 days or maybe a week to just think about us. I added joking maybe a month or a year? And he said noooo I'll come back. Do you think he's not interested in me anymore?

[MangoMochi]

He says he needs 3 days or a week to think about you guys? No, this is a red flag. He shouldn't have to think about this. He should thought about it before he asked you out... Just sounds like an excuse. No man will say this to a woman that he is certain about especially when they're in a relationship.