I’ve been talking to a guy for 3 months. we face time multiple times a day. but after he gets home from work we only text. is that a red flag?

[Anonymous]

We FaceTime multiple times a day and text pretty much all day long back and forth. We’ve been talking for almost 4 months. After he gets home from work, we only text. But we still text non stop until bedtime. Is this a red flag? We’ve never talked on FaceTime or the phone after he’s gotten home. But we have been on FaceTime numerous times when I am at my home. I have trust issues and overthink because of a previous relationship. I just wanted some non biased opinions from people who don’t know me.

[Cody2004]

So I know my opinion might be meaningless I'm young and stupid I'm going to go about this from friend aspect I had the situation with my friends. We love each other not in like a weird way we just really care about each other we do text and FaceTime a lot because we live kind of far it's like a gaming group. I would say that's fine just like be careful when we all wanted to meet up we did it at a event called twitchcon which is a huge event filled with people keep that in mind then again it's so different between dating and friendship.

[Novacane]

This is my personal opinion but most men dont like FT it gets annoying. The only reason he is doing it is because he likes you and its possible that during the day he is on the move so doesn't mind calling/FT but once he gets home maybe he just wants to relax so he doesn't feel the need to call/FT plus if you guys already do it all day does it have to be all night too?

[Asker]

So, this is more of what my friends tell me. Him and I both enjoy our alone time to relax. We’ve discussed that. I don’t think it’s necessary to FaceTime all night. Most of my friends tell me I’m overthinking it. Considering he’s very consistent, initiates most of the FaceTime calls and have days the same thing. Most guys don’t like FT. He’s even said he’s never been much in to it in the past but enjoys it with me. I have one friend who is constantly yelling “red flag”. Her negativity always causes doubt for me. Also note, we live an hour and half away from each other. Both single parents. Both work very demanding jobs. So we aren’t seeing each other at much as the normal. But we do see each other every week or so.

[Novacane]

Yeah I mean dont get me wrong it nice to have someone to talk to when I am going about my day. But when we are at home relaxing we dont want to spend the time talking on the phone which I think most men are like that. I have noticed that girls like to talk more on the phone and this is from experience as girls are the ones more likely to call. rather men prefer to text. I would say it can be overthinking. Also, dont let your friend's expectations be your expectations. There is a saying, misery enjoys company, so when we see someone else going through something people always want to throw in their 2 cents, I am not saying dont listen to her but take it with a grain of salt.

[Nikki1989]

FaceTime and texting are both red flags. It is a pointless dead end.

[Avicenna]

That's very strange. Also that you apparently haven't met him after all that time.

[Asker]

We actually met in person, not online. We were at a community event and I approached him. We have also seen each other several times but we do love 1.5 hours apart so we don’t have the option to see each other every day. Both single parents and work demanding jobs. Knowing that, would you still say it is strange? Just curious if your opinion would change knowing more info :)

[Avicenna]

OK, well, maybe he doesn't want his kids hearing the convos and asking who he's talking to.

[madpete1111]

Could be a couple of things; he has a woman and you're his escape plan. Not saying fo sho that's it but it's possible. Maybe, he's truly really busy. Try asking him out for a cup of coffee. That's noncommittal, and if he doesn't say yes, that is a red flag. Maybe he's somewhat introverted and is having trouble navigating the situation. I don't know for sure, but asking him out is your best bet if you're actually interested in him

[Anonymous]

Totally a red flagperiod. He has a girlfriend. Or a wife at home. He doesn't want her to know are u

[Asker]

We actually met in person, not online. We were at a community event and I approached him. We have also seen each other several times but we do live 1.5 hours apart so we don’t have the option to see each other every single day. Both of us are single parents and work demanding jobs. Knowing that, would you still say it is strange? Just curious if your opinion would change knowing more info 🙂

[Saamee]

Red flag