Is Everyone's First Relationship Doomed?

[Anonymous]

A wee while ago a friend of mine told me (whilst I was in a complicated situation with a guy) that "Your first relationship isn't meant to last".

This got me thinking. Does anybody else think this is true? It just kind of makes me feel that when I do go out with a guy for the first time, it's doomed to failure. Is every first relationship star-crossed? Or is my friend talking a load of crap!?

Have you ever been in a first relationship which has lasted a long time?

Have you ever been in a first relationship in which the guy/girl has become a longterm fixture into your life?

[j-tayla]

You can't go around saying you'll be together for ever like the guy below, cause at your age things change people change, and you might not agree with it, you might even start dating different kind of guys as you get older, I know I started dating different girls when I turned 18, and my very first girlfriend was when I was 16 and yeah we thought we were going to be together forever but thing changed we went off to different colleges and we met new people, it's life somethings are not meant to be and the very first relationship is the one that always breaks you heart, that's why my advice is not to get to serious, cause it's 35% likely to be forever and 65% to be ended because of a disagreement or a new guy, anyway that's my 2 cents, probably doesn't make to much sense but, it does to me!

[Jarett]

I don't think that it has to be true. But obviously the odds are against you. Because with each relationship you have, you learn more about yourself, what you want in the other person, what you don't want, and how to handle situations. Usually with the first relationship, you really don't know what you want, you're just happy that someone likes you. But I believe that a first time couple can work through those things, but it takes a couple of very special people with a strong connection, a lot of hard work and dedication.

[Lady_709]

Do you feel the age of the couple is also a significant factor?

[Anonymous]

Not to be a downer but yes the first relationship is doomed no matter the age when you have it the experience in knowing what you want isn't there. If you are able to find that perfect someone who will listen to you all the time without getting mad, not hate how your breath smells in the morning, or all the other little things couples fight about then God will have blessed you. It takes time and through time a person changes if the two can change together then that gives things a better chance but it is not too likely to work out forever with the first one you date. Sorry. But hey now you know. Enjoy your first love it will bit you in the butt when its over and then you will be able to look back and see all the things you want in a partner.

[SkittleBit]

I believe it really depends. My first boyfriend (actually my only XD' ) was the nicest thing, but everyone told me it wasn't meant to be. Well he thought it was and even though we are broken up now he tells me that I am still the only girl he wants.

Doesn't make too much sense I know. But that's life I suppose. I believe when people "Date" it's rare to find that special one you want to be with all your life, but it isn't impossible. Just think about how you really feel about this guy. And don't listen to your friend; most likely she isn't right.

[Lady_709]

How old was this guy?

[hedgie]

It is possible. My dad is my mom's first and she married him at 18 and they've been married for like 34 years. Keep in mind however that teenage boys are rarely ever serious about a relationship and often many of them will do most anything including claiming to love you to get in your pants. If you're lucky enough to find someone for forever your first time then that's great, just don't date someone you're not sure you like that way. :)

[Konvicts]

Not true. My first girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 13 months now. We are each other's first for nearly everything, and we plan on staying together forever. Relationships come and go, it's not necessarily that they aren't meant to last, it's just first relationships tend to have less experience then others, and as the number grows they become wiser.

First relationships can be meant to be, just most believe they aren't going to work. Anything is possible.

[TheNoOne]

Come back and say that once you been together for two to three years its not unusual for first relationships to last at least that long it depends how compatible you are to begin with. but at 13 months your still in the lovey dovey phase and haven't seen each-others flaws yet or at least any major ones. If your living together it will implode quicker as well i seen a few relationships second hand end from partners driving each-other nuts for one reason or another. You and your girlfriend might end up a outlier and go the distance or maybe you won't only time will tell.

[Lady_709]

@TheNoOne Curious on your take what if a first relationship reaches the 3 years would it still be subjected to failure based off the limited or lack of experience of the partners?

[SeanshterMonster]

I hope not. I want my first to last a long time.