Am I just average or ugly?

[Overandunder89]

I've usually done pretty well on dating apps compared to what most guys say they experience, but when in public it seems that women very rarely look at me and when they do, they seem to just gloss over me passively. It's like I'm not even there. Is this the norm for all men or should I assume that I am just not particularly attractive?

[Oliverlogan263]

It's hard to say for sure man, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions that you're ugly. A few things could be going on:

- In public, women are usually more focused on what they're doing than checking out random guys. Dating apps are kind of designed for looking at pics.

- Lighting, angles, and a good bio can make most guys look better online than just walking around. Doesn't mean you're not decent looking in person too.

- A lot depends on confidence, style, how you carry yourself. Maybe work on projecting more approachable, flirty vibes when out so women notice in a good way.

- Average isn't bad! Most people are average looking. As long as you take care of yourself, own what you've got, and work on your conversation skills, attitude matters more.

- Even hot dudes often get ignored in public. Girls aren't always receptive to getting approached randomly either. Don't take it personal.

I'd say unless you've got some serious issues, it's probably all in your head. Focus on putting your best self out there by staying fit and stylish. Believe you're attractive and others will notice your confidence. Don't get hung up comparing to Chad either - play your own game, bro!

[NathanDavis]

the vast majority of people just go out and go on with their day... they have things to do, lol...

there's dozens upon dozens of girls that, if I were on a dating app and saw them in such app then I would "swipe" or whatever on earth you do to show your interest

but in real life? all these dozens of women, are just going on with their day and so am I, lmfao...

so no, I don't even try to hit on every single one of them... so relax about it, lol

[Overandunder89]

Haha! I appreciate the advice. I think you're right. I hope so anyway. 😅

[Tinat]

I don't think you are ugly, because like you said you were fine on dating apps but in reality it just... well the thing is... Maybe you tend to stear at the women? Because we women don't appreciate men that are openly starring at us in a lascivious way especially in public no matter how handsome a guy is we find him to be... not an ideal type. We appreciate men that seems like... not to notice us? Perhaps he's interested? But it's better if he doesn't show it that way by starring. That's my opinion 🤷‍♀️

[Overandunder89]

That's a fair point, but no. I don't stare. I do notice that women just generally seem to pay me absolutely no attention. This is something that most men seem to experience which makes me feel like there is just nothing special about me in spite of the way I dress or anything else about me that in theory should make me stand out in public or any place else.

[Sameone]

Is not about your face stupid is about you personality and your bank account

[IslaTheWitch]

irl your personality counts...

[Overandunder89]

I understand what you mean, but I suspect that I may be misunderstanding this whole social dynamic. How does the personality of a man who is a stranger to you influence the likelihood of you noticing him in public? In the case of the male sex on a collective (heterosexual) basis, we just tend to notice women generally regardless of their body language, the present environment, etc. Does this not hold true with women too?

[IslaTheWitch]

how you react, smile, talk and interact, your mimics and body language... those are things we notice looking at strangers...

I can't say what the man I just saw looked like, but I can say how did he move, how did he smile... if he was friendly to other people waiting on the bus stop...

[Overandunder89]

Wow... This is revelatory. Seriously. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.

[laly520]

can't tell without pic