First date - No chemistry. Do you go for a second date?

[Anonymous]

Guys and gals, imagine you have a first date. It goes pleasantly enough, and after a couple of drinks, you're both having a laugh at least, and there's no awkwardness to speak of.

But for whatever reason, there's no click, and no chemistry to signify any attraction between you. At the end of the date, you both agree to phone and work out a second date the following week.

Would you go ahead with it? Do you think the first date impression is an always accurate guide as to whether there will be any spark between you in the future? Or do you think a second or third date, might lead you to feel that 'click' and make a connection which simply couldn't have happened during the first date?

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I think the first date doesn't show anything if you had fun go for more dates because attraction and chemistary can be created. I know this because there is a particular guy that I met and I didn't have any attraction toward him at first dates but now I have never felt this way about anyone because attraction was created in between.

[Asker]

How do you think he created that attraction between you?

[Timtamm]

I know exactly what you mean. I was not attracted to this guy and didn't think I could be, but we went out on a date anyway. Oh boy, had I never been more wrong in my life. The more we spoke and the more we did together the more beautiful this man became and the more I couldn't help but "accidentally" touch him hehe :3 He taught me to go in with an open mind because you may just not even know what you really love :)

[Anonymous]

I think it's worth a 2nd date. Sometimes people are nervous and maybe not their best on a first date. Id do a 2 nd one, MAYBE a 3rd one. If you don't feel any chemistry by then then you prob will not ever feel it with this person.

[Anonymous]

If I'm interested in her, I'd give it one more shot, but I'd plan a very different sort of date and make it pretty interactive. If we're not kissing by the end of the second date, then I'll cut the cord. But if there was really no chemistry after the first date, I wouldn't expect her to say yes to date number 2.

[Asker]

Well, she said yes to date number 2, but I don't think she felt any chemistry either.

[Opinion Owner]

Are you into her? Do you find her hot, interesting, fun, nice and do you want something to happen?

[Asker]

I'm not into her yet, but in my experience, I can get into someone after some time. She's interesting enough, fun, nice, all of that. At least that was the impression I got over 3 hours.

I'm still not sure if I'd like to see something happen though.

[Opinion Owner]

Do you think she's hot? You didn't even mention it which is why I ask. If you're not eager to have sex with her (eventually) then I wouldn't bother, but that's just me. I think it's WAY more fun to date a girl you're really hot for and I'd be willing to put in more effort to win her over and generate chemistry if I had that motivation. If I were in your case I'd maybe ask her out to test out a date idea for another girl in the future.

[Asker]

No, I wouldn't call her hot. But I've become really attracted to girls after I've known them for a short while, and the same could happen here.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if it works for you, that's cool. But like I said, the girls I was crazy about from the get go have been by FAR the most fun and rewarding to date. The ones I grew to like were comfortable, but not really extraordinary or memorable relationships. Have you ever dated a girl you were crazy about? If not, I highly recommend trying it.

[Asker]

Once, and it was great in some ways. But it was very one-sided. I was crazy about her, she was at best luke-warm on me. So it wasn't so great in other ways.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I hear you. One of the things I've learned is that while you should fully enjoy how crazy about her you are, you should definitely keep that from her. And you need to stay focused on doing things to make her more attracted to you. And falling all over her usually achieves the opposite, so you kind of need to pace yourself.

Anyway, now that I've gotten better at managing the dating process I'm HUGE fan of dating girls I'm crazy about.

[mikeb79]

Are you not attracted to her? And it seems she's not to you?

If you're not attracted now, you probably won't become so. But, if you just like hanging out, you could do that if she's game.

[tadpole25]

if I felt there was some progress from when we first met to the end of the first date, I would consider a second date. but if nothing improved after a first date, then probably not. but I would expect more chemistry on a second date.

[xSweetestSinx]

Ugh, why go on a date with someone if there is no attraction there in the first place? seems to me like the first date shouldn't have happened. lame