If your 1st date had "no spark," do you go on a 2nd date?

Question

What's your experience with getting along, conversation flows, you find them attractive but no spark. Do you see them again?

talover · Accepted Answer

First impressions or "sparks" aren't the definitive way to measure how the first date went. There are way too many variables involved. The idea of looking for that date who will bring that magic moment or chemistry between you two, is not real life experience. Real life doesn't always look like a romance movie. Sure it can happen in real life. But itsnt normative.

From my experience, I had a couple of dates where I really felt and sensed a "spark" (air quotes). But it turned out to be nothing for the other. On the flip side, I also went on dates where they felt the "spark" but I didn't. This is completely subjective, of course.

To end my story, I met my future wife eventually through a mutual friend. No sparks or chemistry. No love at first sight. None of that happened. It took us about 2 years of friendship building, including times of laughter, grief and the challenges of life before we found an incredible love for each other. 12 years later and three in tow, we have lots of sparks now.

Dragonpurple · Accepted Answer

First impressions are rarely accurate, sometimes sure but most the time no.

I have made some life long friends, who after the first date we continued to date... eventually as friends, even going to each others weddings later when we find the right person.

My wife told me after we were married, she just about didn't do a second date but is glad she did, cause I make terrible first impressions.

Generally for me, I go at least 3 dates, maybe 5 before I decide to say, hey lets just be friends and see where that goes. Some friends we have also started dating up again and it didn't work out, just being friends.

Love is a chemical reaction that doesn't always work first, as I found out... someone super attractive as I get to know them starts being less attractive and someone average starts to look really good to me as I get to know them. Personality has a huge effect on all this.

NicoletteXO · Accepted Answer

In general, no.

If there was some extenuating factor at play (maybe they just had news of a relative dying, for instance, so they were feeling really flat)... then I might give it a second chance if they had some other really great qualities.

But mostly, if there's no spark, there's no point.

BlondeRoast · Accepted Answer

It would be really hard to go on a 2nd date if there was no spark on the first date. But if the guy does be honest and says stuff like "I was too nervous, I wasn't acting myself" I would give him a redo. So more like a redo 1st date than a 2nd date 😂

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Dates are fun when her interest is high. If its low i usually will progressively tell more extreme jokes. If she doesn't smile id just leave before the check comes because she lead me to believe she was interested. Why should i pay if she deceived me. She shouldn't get a free date. We already talked on the phone, thats with every date. Thats why i usually do free first dates, women feel less pressured it seems.

TruthBringer · Answer

Sounds like a waste of time. I've been on dates where we had no spark the first date and I had dates where the spark was there from the first date (whom one happens to be my girlfriend for a few years). Why should I focus on a woman whom I don't have that chemistry with from the first date? I just move on and find me someone who I do have it with.

libsaretards · Answer

I mostly lean towards no. However, I did date a woman who was a nurse and had unexpectedly been held over longer than planned and did not get off until an hour before our date. Despite how tired she was she still dolled herself up in makeup and made it on time to the date. I did not know before the date that she was a nurse but I could tell she was tired. I asked her why she was so tired so she explained the situation. I was a Corpsman so I get where she was coming from and offered a 2nd date.

t-8900 · Answer

I read one of your responses as well. He's 13 years younger than you. Make sure his plans dont include a family or else he's replacing you down the road anyways. Good luck out there.

Interstate · Answer

First dates are known to be like "rectal and moisture" in the same sentence. There are some instances when it is necessary to go on a second date to give each other the chance to open up and feel more comfortable with the other. Raw nerves on the 1st will definitely put a damper on a "spark".

Anonymous · Answer

If you find them attractive, absolutely. There's something there, which means it can possibly grow. 1 date isn't necessarily long enough to determine this. Sadly people are often too quick to write people off! While it can happen sometimes, you can't expect it to be there so quickly. Remember, you still don't KNOW them!

Wester1967 · Answer

No. If you don’t want a relationship with the person and have no attraction, do not date just for free meals or validation or a smash. You’re wasting everyone’s time otherwise

worldscolide · Answer

When I first met my wife I was not expecting a second date.. She informed me she was coming to see me a week later.. Like I had no choice in it.. God I love that woman.

LisaRaven · Answer

I would have to be there to know for sure. The one date I had since my last ex that didn't go for a second date wasn't just that there were no sparks but he made it clear he and I would be incompatible. He wasn't a bad guy just wasn't right for me.

Browneye57 · Answer

Please tell us why you think you want to spend more time with a man you don't get the hots for. We're dying to know.

Mousey54 · Answer

It’s hard to say from my experience. I’ve had people who’d talk to me for hours but they would be completely disinterested and I could feel they wanted to go home quick. Rejection hurts but I’m used to it now.

Pasiton5 · Answer

If she had no spark it's clear I'm not connecting with her teaching or uninteresting to her or the food was not good, it stands up comic was everything bad including not funny or could be that time of the month and you know how toy women are but if she's in agreement yes I would have a second date only talk with her kid before find out all I can get likes interest and so on could turn out to be best date ever

Novacane · Answer

I would say if you are really interested in the person then yeah I would consider it, it's normal for people to have a bad first date, I mean its literally the first date maybe you guys did something both of you weren't as excited about maybe try switching it up and do other stuff than your regular standard date of going out to eat. Explore that thing you both like to do.

InvisiblexIntrovert · Answer

I'd say it depends. First dates could be really nerve wracking so if you're like "this person's too nervous and awkward, I don't like them" that'd be kinda sad. First dates should be used to analyze, pay attention and see what qualities, personality, and behaviors they have. Itmf something seems dangerous or off then I wouldn't go on another date. They say third time's a charm though 🤷.

Hypnos0929 · Answer

If I spent a lot of money then yes but if it was just an average first meeting then sure. I don't really care about a "spark" because I don't like relationships built on big moments, I prefer familiarity and being compatible. Sparks create fires that eventually go out but if we really get to know each other that's better.

pickedcrisps · Answer

No I wouldn't. A flat no is harsh but it really is my point blank answer and how I would say it to them is let them down gently of its not you it's me. I'm just not feeling it. whatever it is or they can imagine is it. If it's not there then nothing gonna change it spoken in broken drawl 🤤🤤

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

I've never gone on a second date after a no-spark first.

Oddly enough, I have had situations where the spark happened at meeting the other person, and when we later went on the first date, the spark was gone.

Also interesting is when we run into old flames.. more often than not (even when things ended badly) the spark was still there.

Eva2015 · Answer

Yes, because you don’t know someone after one date. They could have been very nervous and acting a bit different than normal.
I wouldn’t go on a second date if someone was actually disrespectful or not trying to get to know me.

Floppy2112 · Answer

She'd have to be hella hot, or have a damn good explanation for her distance to make me go out with a person again. Of course, I don't look at any female as a potential conquest. I have to actually like a person to want to have sex with them. And revisiting a lame date just seems like an attempt to get laid. Hell, you never know, though. Maybe the first date was off and maybe there will be sparks on the second one... So, maybe.
That's stream of consciousness, changing my mind as I write.

nella965 · Answer

Usually I can tell you that if there is absolutely no spark on first date, you wouldn't be seeing them again.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

Depends on why there was no spark. If it was just because one or both of us is shy and awkward, I'd try a second date. If it was because we clearly weren't compatible, then I don't see a reason to waste our time on another date

HawkPerception · Answer

Chemistry consists of similarities. Similar views, interests, goals in life, sense of humor, way of communicating, etc. If I see from the first date that we don't have any of those, why would I go out on a second?

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

I don't believe in this "love at first interaction" nonsense. It takes more than one to see if there's truly a connection. Yes I would go on a second date.

bambi_01 · Answer

I probably would. Sometimes it takes time to get to know someone and for them to feel comfortable around.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Probably not. But usually i need a spark before i even agree to go on a date

genericname85 · Answer

I might see them again, if for me there was enough interest to wanna hang out but with them. But I won't string them along. I'll make sure they're on the same page.

OddBeMe · Answer

You find attraction but no “spark”? What is the spark then?

omgjassy · Answer

I didn't had any sprakle with my boyfriend on the first date and now we are two years in a relationship.

Kayla45 · Answer

My general rule of thumb is, if we didn't hit it off the first time, then I typically don't do second dates. Some things like that are on a subjective basis though. I'm just saying for the majority of first dates for myself and in my opinion.

15_Debo · Answer

yeah one or two more dates as observation  than move according to the result...

Phoenix98 · Answer

I would sometimes things don’t always click or go right on a first date. Maybe you had a bad day or she was nervous you never know.

boggboss · Answer

Ofc u go again lol u basing the spark on 1 interaction

Changiis07 · Answer

I would give it another try just to see how it goes

Dorothy83 · Answer

Maybe they were nervous maybe a third. Depends how first date went if they we’re a hole probably not.

gag2021 · Answer

There has to be at least some interest on both sides. If interest isn't show, there's no reason to spin your wheels. You can't make someone like you if they're not interested.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I would see him again if I find him attractive.

Avicenna · Answer

Maybe, if there were something especially interesting or attractive about her. The usual reason a second date doesn’t occur is that there a lack of common interests.

Nik1hil · Answer

If there is no spark but I find them attractive.. I will go..

Anonymous · Answer

It depends on a few things. I won't go on a second date if its super painful or they seem rude. But at the same time if we both like eachother and we are pretty nervous than I understand that we need more time to get comfortable and ill keep seeing them

FurryGuy14 · Answer

No. Find someone else to fuck. If they're going to be boring.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Depends. If it was a pleasant date and she has raised no red flags then I'd probably go on a second date. But if the date was awkward, I find her to be on the crass side, super boring, or raised any red flags then no.

Anonymous · Answer

sparks aren't realistic. if you have stuff in common, i'd say give it another shot.

YesICan · Answer

Everyone deserves a second chance as long as they are not a piece of shit, cause the first time there is a lot of tension people might say dumb shit, or act a little tense.

xf25x · Answer

Honestly, a first date can be filled with nerves on both ends so if you even kind of enjoyed the time with them it might be worth a second date to give it a try when you both feel more calm

Unpersuadable · Answer

Yes and tell him if he doesn't get your juices flowing this time, he's done.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I don’t like to waste my time on a first date even

Anonymous · Answer

You are almost 40 years old, stop wasting your time on uncertain people and situations. If you have to come here to question then that’s enough to tell you your answer.

Seinna · Answer

Yes, I give it like 3 dates. But usually my first impression doesn't change...

Commander_Shepard · Answer

Absolutely no spark, no giggle, no genuine smile... probably not. My girl was pretty shy and even a bit awkward on our first date but if there's a spark, some chemistry, it'll show anyway (I think).

Anonymous · Answer

I tell her bring her sister that way there were extra options

sattii2607 · Answer

Well maybe give that person one more chance the behaviour might be due to nervousness in the first meeting.

Anonymous · Answer

If there was no sparks during our first meeting, then there likely won’t be any during a second date. Waste of time.

Made4sex · Answer

Not unless I am trying to be friends. In which case I would say okay next time is with people though.

Shiningtempest · Answer

@katebfun I don't look for "spark" in a date. All I look for is whether she shares the same interest, political beliefs, lifestyle, and or musical taste.

Anonymous · Answer

I would not do it, as there is expenses involved and huge possibility nothing will come out of it. I would rather have date with someone else or spend that time with purpose.

m33lad · Answer

I would leave right then and then!  I warn the girl if she’s a mute I’d leave

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Depends on how good her BJ skills were after the coffee.

coconuts4516 · Answer

I do. Sometimes the second date is great some people don't open up at first.

EaterPeter · Answer

How is it even possible with you. Oh I get it. You may not feel it for me.

sexscientist · Answer

It doesn’t take much for me to feel that “spark” so for me no second date.

If your 1st date had "no spark," do you go on a 2nd date?

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First date - No chemistry. Do you go for a second date?

If your 1st date had "no spark," do you go on a 2nd date?

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First date - No chemistry. Do you go for a second date?

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