Why are guys so obsessed with ethnicity in dating?

[Anonymous]

Hello all! As someone who is half Asian (I won’t say exactly what I am so they can’t find me 😅), everyone I’ve dating in my adult life has made a big deal out of me being Asian. They’ll say stuff like “my (insert ethnicity here) girl,” or they’ll constantly tell people “my girlfriend is (enter ethnicity here),” even if it isn’t relevant to the conversation… It makes me uncomfortable but is this something I shouldn’t worry about? Plus I’m American and don’t have too much connection to my culture. I’ve heard it could be a fetish but I also understand preferences. Let me know what y’all think.

[NamerOfStars]

That's... kind of odd. I mean, most people have specific traits (or combinations of traits) that they find attractive, and sometimes those show up more frequently in certain ethnic groups, so finding one attractive isn't so strange, but bragging about it? Even to YOU? Yeah, that's a bit creepy.

Assuming, that is, that you don't live in some area that, I don't know, bans people of your ethnicity; then it's a sign of admiration at your open defiance of bigoted laws (which are themselves absolutely horrifying, but for different reasons).

[Billlewis]

It isn't always her ethnicity in and of itself that make, in my case, Black women so maddeningly desirable. Of course about 95% of them are too beautiful for me to even make eye contact with, but one of the most sought after advantages of having an African American mistress, owner, etc, is that if/when she deigns to lay the cane, switch or rod, etc, she is very likely to tan my hide with impressive physicality.

[desidoll]

Really? Hmmm I think if you are attractive, your ethnicity doesn’t matter.

[DryGermanGuy]

I haven't noticed that with any guy or couple I personally know. But I have noticed that US-Americans often throw around these weird racial "heritage" percentages, when talking/texting with an European person. "By, the way, I am 13.5% German!" - wtf? :-/

[RebelinSteel]

I don’t know anyone who has ever brought ethnicity up in dating as you have said.

[ProbablyClueless]

The extent/level of what you're describing is absolutely a fetish thing.

Americans do tend to see things in the context of race though.

[DrPepper12]

Sounds just like my gay friend or my black friend. It's irrelevant. Tell them so.

[jahaims]

I don't know a single human obsessed with ethnicity in any capacity

[dolemite58]

I like Asian girls but I wouldn’t make it a point to say this is my Asian girlfriend if we were dating that’s just weird lol

[Anonymous]

They're not. That's all you hun.

[LazerBean]

They aren't