Should I be annoyed my boyfriend did this?

[Anonymous]

He had a job interview today and got the job, he felt super drained after because of a bad sleep and the interview itself. I wanted to call him and celebrate the fact he got the job aswell as make plans for tomorrow, meeting up to get him new clothes for his job. We haven't met up in 3 days and I really wanted to catch up.

He said he was tired and on the video call he could barely respond coherently. I said he probably should go to bed and he said as soon as he ended the call he'd send a goodnight message and would go to sleep. We said goodnight. The next morning he told me that he didn't go to sleep at 11 and stayed up til 1 to game with the boys. I know it's not a huge deal but its like he lied to me and he couldn't hang around for our call but could for games with his friends, he says he couldn't refuse an invite to a game he hasn't played for 5 years. I haven't messaged back.

Updates

+1 y

The main reason I'm annoyed rn is because he told me he'd do one thing and then did another, he's done stuff like this in the past and it's starting to feel unreliable

[sawno]

As someone with burnout experience I can 100% see where he is coming from. Do you have a right to be upset? Yes. But he is past the point of thinking coherently like you said so he is then automatically going to go with the past of least resistance. The times I find it most difficult to actually do what I should be doing is when I am in that mental state, i'd be up all night watching videos or end up doing an activity because to my brain thats less exhausting than the tasks I need to do to prepare for sleep since those register at work.

I basically learnt its a survival mechanism gone wrong, where your body is trying to relax itself and calm down but instead makes you do things that are actually more draining.

So please give him some slack in this one since he wasn't himself, but do let him know you were hurt by it.

[sawno]

(From my response you can tell I am semi in an exhausted mental state myself, for me I then loose the ability to write coherently in one go. The incorrect words should still be close enough though).

[handsomelad70]

Another reason not to be young in 2024. A 19-24-year-old lass being in an exhausted mental state.

[AviatorTom]

Have you never changed your mind? Maybe gaming with the boys was the best way for him to wind down. Do you have the right to be annoyed? Sure, that applies to any situation... but having the right doesn't mean you should be annoyed.

[sheikalana]

I understand why you're annoyed but it's also not a big deal. Is not like he went out to a club after telling you he was going to sleep. Guys love having boy time with their friends and it's fine.

[DishLady]

He’s just letting off some steam. Don’t get all over him for trying to just rest…

[Asker]

But how is playing a horror game and calling them rest? And why didn't he just tell me that he was still up doing that?

[Reporepo378]

Its a different type of rest. It gets your mind off of life and work and stuff like that. But i do think he shouldve just told you thats what he was doing, but if he didn't it probably means he was scared of you overreacting or getting mad at him for it, and that probably means u have a history of that

[DishLady]

See what @Reporepo378's saying... Some guys run a mile, some play basketball till their sweat is all over the court/driveway, some play online with their friends... it's just the way they let off steam. What do you WANT him to do with all his pent up stress and exhaustion?

And yes, agreed that perhaps he should have shared that he's just going to chill at home to play, however it's no reason to get your panties in a twist. Does he OWE you a play-by-play of his every move? You need to trust him more and let him to his thing.

[Reporepo378]

@DishLady Facts. Well said

[DishLady]

Thanks, @Reporepo378, you too.

[Asker]

@Reporepo378 I think if I did have a history of overreacting I wouldn't be questioning if I was. It's kinda weird how you agreed with me but then made another problem out of thin air. Of course it could never be the guys fault, it must be that I have a issue 🫠

[Asker]

I already had this convo with him, I think not seeing him in a couple days, I just really miss him and it made me upset that he swapped out a our call, our chance to talk that we hadn't had in days for gaming with the guys which he does every night. I don't care if he wanted to game all night but it just felt like he said he was going to bed just so he could ignore me instead of saying, I'm a little tired right now call tomorrow instead.

[Reporepo378]

What problem? I simply gave you my opinion and insight. Thats what this site is for. If you dont like to hear it then dont post

The only one making a problem out of thin air is tou. "Of course it could never be the guys fault" look at you trying to make it a gender issue. You've just proves your over-emotional and that in fact you probably are a problem toward your boyfriend and why he didn't tell you

[Reporepo378]

You *

[Asker]

@Reporepo378 okay yeah sure, I mean it's one thing to say your opinion based on what I said and another to assume. No where did I mention my "history" of anything or anything relating to previous events. So yeah it was thin air.

I'm not making it a gender issue, but hey believe what you want. So let's say I was "making it a gender issue" in your point of view, somehow makes me an over reactor? 😂Sure big guy.

[spartan55]

Oh no! He changed his mind? You really going to get all pissy about that?🙄

[Asker]

If he did, why not call me back he knew I was up. We hadn't caught up in days and all I wanted was 5 mins to talk and hear all about his day.

[spartan55]

Hear about his day? Really? You sound incredibly needy.

[Reporepo378]

@spartan55 For real. she's beyond selfish

[Reporepo378]

Call you back to tell you he changed his mind? are u serious? You're making a huge deal out of something extremely small that happens all the time with couples. He said he was going to sleep, got an invite from his bros and changed his mind and hopped on the game, and you think he should be like wait, let me call my girlfriend to tell her i dont want to go to sleep. Should he tell you which way he ties his laces too?

you're forgetting you're the one who told him he should go to sleep. It wasn't his idea. And now you're mad that he ended up deciding not to go to sleep? People change their mind. Big deal. you're making a big deal out of your boyfriend simply changing his mind about sleeping. Take a look at yourself and how you're overreacting over something so insignificant

[Asker]

It's called being in a caring relationship. It was a big day for him, he had an interview we had talked about it for days before. We hadn't met up or called in 3 days and somehow that makes me needy?

[Asker]

@Reporepo378 I cba to respond to all your comments.

So here's it simple:
Hadn't met for 3 days
He had an important day
Told me he would call me when he got back (his choice)
I waited for a few hours (no call)
Finally got call, told me he was tired
I suggested he might need rest
He said he would do that
Fast forward 2 hours, he's gaming and calling friends

See it's not just the facts of it but the emotions surrounding it. I'm his girlfriend not his friend and it can be hurtful feeling like he traded our call for time with the boys. When I mentioned this too him he agreed and said he hadn't seen it from my pov. I originally posted asking for opinions based off the fact (including my feelings and his surrounding it too) not for fiction.

The day I'll admit I'm overreacting is the day you will too... like why so many comments 😭 must be kicking stuff up for you or something

[Reporepo378]

If you aren't going to bother reading comments that just shows you're not here for suggestions or asvice you just want people to agree with you and reinforce your selfishness

Let me make it simple for you too

- hadn't played the game in 5 years
- Got an invite from his boys
- Couldnt wait with an oppurtunity like that. You fail to realize how important game time with all the boys is especially one they haven't played in 5 years. He can call you anytime, but him and his boys only have a few oppurtunities to all get on together at the same time
- You're the one who suggested he go to sleep, he didn't suggest it, so he had no obligation to. It would be different if in the call he said im going to go to sleep and then didn't. He didn't, so he didn't intend to to begin with, despite him saying he will after you suggested it
- He told you that he ended up staying up and why. That shows he actually cares. He couldve easily lied and said he went to sleep at 11 and not tell you about him staying up. On the other hand you ignored him and didn't message him back. You're the rude one in this
- Something like this is not even close to a big deal and happens all the time in relationships. He was planning to sleep and ended up getting an invite from his boys for a rare oppurtunity for them all to get on the game and play together. He then changed his mind and stayed upa couple hours. What a horrendous crime

The fact that you took this to GaG and are making such a huge deal about it shows you are not mature enough for a relationship. I dont care if this offends you, im giving it to you straight. Especially since you just refuse to even read the advice despite asking for it

[exitseven]

I don't know what it is with guys today. He is not giving you his best. I always thought when you were dating you try to be on your best behavior. If this is how he acts now, ask yourself what he will be like after you get married.

[Reporepo378]

Why are you generalizing all guys? Surely wou wouldn't like it if someone generalized girls and said "i dont know what is it with girls today" because of one girls actions. You sexists are getting out of hand

[Asker]

@Reporepo378 😭 now your going after people with different opinions from yours. Cmon man whoever hurt you must of done a number

[Reporepo378]

Im giving my insight. Thats what GaG is for. Thats what the reply button is for. And no one hurt me lol. But it sounds like your boyfriend hurt you bad with such a minor thing. What a sensitive little girl lmao

But since you seem to not mind him generalizing all guys Im assuming you also wouldn't mind if people generalized all girls. Then so be it

I dont know what it is with girls today. Just like a typical girl you're overemotional and selfish, rude, immature, and allergic to taking accountability. And i honestly think your boyfriend should dump you. It seems like this isn't the first time of you overreacting like this and you've probably started fights over small things like this before. It seems like you're not mature enough to be in a healthy relationship so I think he should hinestly find someone better

Not to mention you're on an anonymous account and dont have the stones to post and comment on your real one yet talking smack to others 🤣 What a 😾

[DrPepper12]

Tell how you feel but then let it go. He just needs to listen, not reply

[Asker]

I told him about it, I knew it was a bit of an overreaction and told him this but that I wasn't going to lie and let it just sit in my head and not say anything.

[Reporepo378]

Game time with the boys is more important. Sounds like ur guy has priorities thats solid

[handsomelad70]

Gaming with the boys is likely his way of letting off steam, so unless he overdoes it, likely no.

[SotiCoto]

What he said he was going to do was not consistent with what he actually did. Being annoyed is reasonable.

[Awesomesauce2005]

He is an immature liar and he doesn't care about you. Find someone who doesn't play video games and is honest. I know these guys exist because i am one of them.

[Reporepo378]

Lmao ur either a troll or the biggest cuck

[Awesomesauce2005]

@Reporepo378 i dont know what that means?

[RedInnocent69]

He’s under stress. Cut him some slack and suck his cock when you see him.

[Asker]

Already did that 😀 I always support him no matter what, he got a new job I'd say that's cause for celebration not stress

[nawtee_me]

It sounds like he won’t keep his job long anyway.

[TeraGER]

Yes but I can see both sides

[KrakenAttackin]

You likely drain him as well.

[Asker]

Yes but in a different way ✋🏻😔

[FakeNIK]

You sound like my girlfriend...

[Unit1]

Lying Isn't cool, i agree