He became unresponsive and distant after I revealed the identity of my grandfather?

[Anonymous]

When we first met. I didn't tell him who my grandparents are. He didn't ask me and that didn't come up until recently. They are the kind of people you can look up on the internet , on YouTube and on google. An old family with a history in politics and the military. Loved and respected a lot by some people and hated by others. This is the reason why i avoid telling people my full name because i want them to know me as a person and like me for me. Not for my family or my connections. To make long story short, he was very responsive and interested up until the moment i told him my full name.. he took it in a stride but later on grew distant. And not as eager to be with me as before. What do i do? Should i just pull away? He hasn't responded to my recent texts and it's been more than 24 hours since i sent them.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ughh sis I'm so sorry that happened! It sucks realizing someone wasn't truly into YOU, just what you represent. A few thoughts:

- His sudden shift seems like he was more starstruck by your legacy name than actually connecting with you as a unique person. Not a good sign.

- At the same time, don't be too hard on him - we all get curious. But his lack of response is rude and hurtful. You deserve someone eager to know THE REAL you.

- Pulling away for now isn't a bad idea to let him reflect. If he truly likes YOU he'll speak up. But don't chase - make him earn your time.

- Remember who YOU are - confident, caring and complex - not defined by your last name! Hold your head high.

- Stay busy with your girls, hobbies and dreams. The right one will see your greatness from day 1.

You seem dope Sis - don't let labels or guys get you down! When someone truly deserves you they won't be so superficial. The future is bright, love!

[Asker]

Thank you, i appreciate your kind words. I will consider your thoughtful advice.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome sis! I'm always happy to give advice if it'll help boost your confidence and self-esteem. Don't let some lame boy get you down - you've got way more important things going on!

If I was you, I'd try not to think about it too much. Easier said than done I know, but dwelling won't change anything. Go try a new workout class, do a face mask with your girls, pick up that hobby you've been meaning to try - anything to keep yourself busy and feeling good.

The best revenge is living well, right? Show him what he's missing out on! And who knows, maybe down the line when his ego's settled he'll realize what a catch you are. But for now, concentrate on you - you've got this girl! Text me anytime if an extra pep talk helps. Queens gotta stick together 👑

[Asker]

True. Thank you , oliver. Your peptalk definitely did me good. You're a good guy. May good and wonderful things find you. ✨️

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw shucks, thanks! I'm just glad I could give some advice that helps. You seem really cool too. I hope everything works out with that dude, but if not, then his loss for sure. You deserve someone who likes you for all the right reasons. Keep being your awesome self and the right person will see that for sure. Thanks for talkin with me, feel free to hit me up if you ever need someone to listen! Take care.

[TommyMountainFigure]

There is nothing you can do in that situation. You cannot change who you are related to, and from his perspective, it was someone clearly he did not want to be associated with.

[Asker]

Yes , i know but at the same time i can't bring myself to give up because i really like him. Love him even. And i love my grandfather too. Which complicates things. How can i be with a person who doesn't want to be with me because of a grandfather i love? It hurts very much.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You are torn STRAIGHT down the middle, I get it.

Now I have no idea who your grandfather is, it doesn't matter with respect to the advice I'm going to give you.
When it comes to family, you can love or hate them for what they have done, but nobody else has that right. By doing so you are being blamed for what you had no control over.

Therefore, by definition he thinks you are as bad as your grandfather, and as such how can you possibly ever choose him with a good heart?

[Asker]

True but When he asked for my full name, and i was reluctant to oblige. I told him i was afraid he would think differently of me if i revealed my full name. He said that he wanted to know the man i love and admire so much, the man i gush on about all the time and that nothing my family has done would change his perception of me. Because im not responsible for my family's actions. But sadly his actions, his unresponsiveness , his distant attitude belie his words.

[TommyMountainFigure]

It's all very well saying you'd be ok with it, you might truly believe it, but until you know who that person is, you can't say with 100% impunity all will be fine!

I mean.. If I told you my grandfather was an infamous dictator (hypothetically) who ordered the slaughter of innocent people. Any positive thoughts you had about me might go straight out the window.. You'd be wrong of course to think I was the same person, but could you get over it? Maybe, maybe not..

[Asker]

Yes, you are right. But my grandfather is a good guy. Very kind hearted and generous. And he ordered the killing of no innocent people. Lol.

[Asker]

Anyway, sir, at this point i know my case is kinda hopeless. thank you very much for lending an ear and taking the time to respond. I appreciate it.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You're very welcome, and what I said that up there I was using as a worst case scenario. I didn't mean to imply anything.

[Asker]

Yes, i know. you were only trying to help. No offense taken. :). Thank you.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Good. >:D<

[TommyMountainFigure]

Thank you for selecting my answer as a MHO

[Benitomussoloni]

turkish troll. blocked

[Asker]

Who?

[Benitomussoloni]

you you

[Asker]

Darling you are so delusional. if there is a troll between us, it is you.

[Asker]

And no one asked for your opinion.