Need suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Ok so I've been with my boyfriend almost a year and we just recently moved in together, everything has been fine, for some reason I had a weird pit in my stomach i went in his phone and saw messages in recently deleted that he messaged a girl he wanted to breed her n a bunch of sexual stuff it started on insta as casual convo, she called him handsome then they started flirting n see send pics. Then it moved into the phone she sent her number he texted her saying he at work n eishes he was inside her. Before he knew I knew he had already blocked her on insta phone and deleted messages that I saw in recently deleted. I confronted him about it, he apologized he owned up to it bland he said he was bored and. Liked the attention a little. Like it was a mind game he was playing with her. That he had no intent on hurting me simply messaged her for a few days then blocked her on everything. My thing is if u are bored read a book watch a movie anything but that. And if u need attention which he says he don't then why did u choose to continue it. Also he is the one that started the sexual convo. He's never done this before we have each other's location we now live together and he knew he was wrong because he deleted it so I wouldn't see it. He cried and felt so bad as I was crying n so hurt still am. I don't know what to do. Also in text he wasn't like oh baby this or that. It was weird because he kept calling her bruh, I wouldve thought it was a dude until she asked if he goes down on a woman in saying it in a better way then it was said. Like bruh I wanna be off in u. What should I do, give another chance, don't give another cahnce I don't know. I do really love him and up until that he's always been there for me. I don't want him to think he can just do that weather he was playing a joke on her or not. Suggestions comments please help.

[Aubrey97]

This all started after you started dating? I'd probably have to talk myself out of ending it. If it was before, then whatever. IF I were inclined to give him another chance, I'd probably do it under the requirement that he totally stay off the various social media sites where you can interact with people in that way. And if he refused to get rid of all that stuff, I'd know that it wasn't just a one time thing and something else likely has/would happen. You'd be quite justified in ending it and that would be my instinct. But I don't think I could continue without him off all of those things as a sign he's serious about how wrong he was.

[Anonymous]

Texting and Instagram?

Is this what this pathetic world has come to. God help us all.

[Iron_Man]

Wow, that’s a big red flag. What are you going to do?

[Asker]

I don't know, he's never done this before I told him I need space because I didn't want to break up I just need to think about what to do when I did say that he said he loves me cried and said he doesn't want to loose me but understands if I don't want to be with him anymore that he knows he messed up. He said his intent wasn't to hurt me. Like he was playing a gane with the girl literally fed into her for 3 days the. Blocked her I explained u don't have to physically do something to cheat. And boredom and liking attention isn't something I would think would make someone message a girl he wants to be inside her. She messaged him on insta first and apparently she's from his home town where he moved from they never did anything before but she reached out asking how he likes ehere he lives now then said she's doing modeling now send pics then called him handsome and messaged him her number then flirted for a little bit then he messaged her phone thats where i saw the explicit with everything in meit stuff in his recently deleted messages. I love this man with everything in me but the messages keep replying and if I do give him another chance it's going to be really hard to gain that trust back he's going to really have to prove himself. Rn as much as I try not the messages just keep replying in my head

[Asker]

He blocked her on insta and her phone before I even knew about it. But in like who messages a girl this for fun then laughs about it n blocks them then comfortably lays next to the woman he says he wants to marry he just kept saying it didn't mean anything he has no interest in her

[Iron_Man]

He will probably do it again huge red flag. I’m sorry you wasted your time moving in with. him he’s basically a clown you don’t move in with somebody that somebody else is talking explicit to another girl but you never knew

[Asker]

He also said he don't do breaks that he wants to be with me and understands if I can't move past it that he knows he hurt me and takes full responsibility and will work to gain my trust back

[Iron_Man]

Basically up to you anyway I have to go for a while. Got an important phone call.

[Asker]

I don't know what to do honestly, we are also off work for a week starting tomorrow we was suppose to go on vacay together

[Iron_Man]

I wouldn’t go on vacation with somebody like that

[Iron_Man]

he doesn’t deserve it

[Asker]

He moved in with me a month ago. I was already living there

[Iron_Man]

I just got finished with my phone call this guy sounds like a user. He wants to play around on the side on the phone. Who knows if he’s even meeting her in person and he moves in with you then he says he doesn’t do break ups or time off, is he paying any rent? I Can’t believe a guy would move into your apartment or house then be talking sexual to a girl on the phone

[Avicenna]

He's cheating. That should be enough to end things.