Are your really looking for a boy/girl friend or just a benefits?

[Crazzyyworld]

Have you thought of it seriously? I mean.. if you really look for boy/girl friend, you can get it but then you want benefits only so that's why you can't find a boy/girl friend?

[Anonymous]

That’s a very good question.

I am in recovery from a bad addiction (compulsive gambling) and I’ve been clean for over 2.5 years now. However during my initial recovery I was lonely and devastated. I knew it wasn’t a good time to get in a real relationship. My self esteem was beneath the floor boards.

However I am doing MUCH better lately and have really got my sh*t together on that end. But still I haven’t been a real relationship in 5 years now. I don’t even know where to begin.

What I do know is I have zero interest in just being “platonic friends” with a woman I am attracted to or vice versa. I did have one girl emotionally support me at worst times 2 years ago. She knew exactly what i was going through. But i also got the feeling she was also falling for me. I didn’t want her to feel used just because i craved emotional support but really wasn’t romantically interested. That’s not right either.

But I am also worried about being distrusted, judged and rejected for my past mistakes even though I 100% owned up to them. I worry about putting the in effort and hope into getting to know someone and ultimately having her do that to me.

[MrOracle]

I have a girlfriend because I very much prefer to have a real relationship. Yes, a real relationship comes with a lot of costs of various types, but it also comes with connections and trust and a kind of fulfillment that isn't easily explained.

That said, finding a suitable partner is anything but easy. I was single for five years since my last relationship. I wasn't massively active in looking, but I maintained social circles and kept my eye out and went on a few dates, and, yes, I had a friends with benefits during part of that time because I wasn't finding girls who were "relationship material" at the time. It was enjoyable and it was easier in many ways than a relationship, but it was also less fulfilling.

It's up to each person to figure out what they are looking for and make sure they know what does and doesn't come with the options they choose.

[DishLady]

For me there’s no separating the intimate “benefits” from the intimate title… they go and in hand. But the title has to be earned by building trust. If two people aren’t willing to put in the work then it’s just better to be alone.

[Damaged00]

I'm not actively looking for anything. But when I'm ready, I want something real and not just benefits.

[Finchie40]

I prefer FWB’s that more than likely lead to more

[Lionman95]

The reason I can´t find a girlfriend is not because I just want the benefits. The issue is rather that I have a hard falling in love with someone and I´m not just with women bad at iniating a contact. I know many of my friends from church or social groups but they often developed due to a common activity less because I iniated them.
I´m working on that issue but it´s not easy for me. The other issue is that I´ve heard so much what other guys did in a relationship and I sometimes wonder if it´s better to stay single as I probably would do similar mistakes as well and end up single again.

[Billlewis]

My focus is solely and exclusively on how best to serve the woman who has ownership of me. Everything else is secondary.

[luvstoned4him]

I'm really looking for a husband but I would settle for a boyfriend for now 😉

[TeatimewithCowboys]

I’m genuinely looking for a girlfriend but on the edge of throwing my hands up. Of every 100 women I meet, I meet 3 good ones (by good I mean not a piece of shit) and it takes a year to meet 100 girls…..

[Billlewis]

I know what you mean. My problem is that they tend not to believe me when I tell them that I'm only interested in a relationship that is centered around their pleasure, comfort and satisfaction, and virtually nothing else. I keep being told that it 'sounds too good to be true', etc.

[HawkPerception]

The only benefits I care about is a partner that is with me through thick and thin in life

[bobalife]

Friends are platonic zone… benefits are with lovers in partnerships.

[Tommy300]

I really want a girlfriend not just for sex but for a life long relationship. It's unfair that most women assume you are only looking for sex.

[strangeatcircleK]

I'm honestly looking for a relationship with an intimate closeness which in my mind is cuddling on a couch

[DrPepper12]

Not looking. Ne er had a friends with benefits and im glad cuz i catch the feels teally quick

[SkatPak392]

benefits. I understand I'm not wanted and nobody's number one. so I might as well just prostitute myself out to women.

[Nikki1989]

Never really needed one.

[Jennz6]

Just his money 💰

[Adogdog]

I am really looking for a girlfriend :)

[OhLongJohnsoning]

nope. they're immoral

[OhLongJohnsoning]

friends with benefits, i mean

[dragoblack]

All i really want is basic intimacy, not sex.

[Anonymous]

I'm not looking for anything.

[Taurus06]

friends with benefits possibly more.

[youandi_]

I'm not a person who is after benefits.

[MrGSpotHer]

Just serious stuff

[eagle1951]

neither