Just want to be someone’s girlfriend?

[tilly09]

I (f,25) am getting to know this guy (m,29) for 2 months however we have only met twice and once was the day we met.
We have gotten along really well but I guess he wants to move to the next stage and have sex. I don’t mind however we haven’t seen much of each other for me to feel ready to do it
In the past I have been quick to sleeping with guys and it has always ended in disaster for me emotionally.
I don’t want to mess this one up but now even my reluctance to having sex for now is pushing him away.
I don't know what to do.
Please help thank you

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Have you told him this?

I think it's healthy and wise to wait and get to know eachother before you have sex. If you can't go eat dinner or watch movies together how could you both be comfortable with so much more?

If he has only made the effort to spend time with you once in two months and wants to skip right to sex, he might not be interested in spending time with you at all.

People's actions say a lot. They don't always tell the whole story but if spending time with you is important to him he will make an effort and do it. If he doesn't, it is because he is spending his time doing other things.

My advice is to tell him how you feel. Tell him you don't want to yet, you would rather date and enjoy spending time together, and get to know eachother much better before you get to sex.

If he wants the same thing, he will agree.
If he really loves you and wants a future with you that will not change his mind.

If he argues with you, tries to convince you to change what you want from your relationship or doesn't make the effort to spend time with you, that is okay. He is not the man you are looking for and you are one step closer to finding the man who is.

Being honest with people you are dating is never dangerous. If they respect you and reciprocate your honesty and openness you will grow closer together from it. If they don't, you have determined they are not a good match for you romantically before you are too invested.

Don't hide your truth for someone who isn't the right match. Tell him how you feel and find out if he is or not!

God won't put you in a situation where you have to hide your heart for the right person.

[tilly09]

Thank you so so much for this response. Especially the part about God. I love God so much and he wouldn’t want me in this sort of anguish. I’ve constructed a text message with your amazing advice and will ask the Lord for courage to send it. I hate bearing bad news especially when it directly affects me but I know I have to do this for my own mental health. Which is in decline since meeting him. Thank you so much God bless you and your family/friends ✨

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Praying that this all went well! 🙏💛

[RavVid]

Is there any reason you can't meet/date more often?

The traditional female strategy is to see if he likes you enough to stick around for a while without sex.

You are going to lose a percentage with this strategy but I think you have found that moving to sex quickly has drawbacks as well.

[tilly09]

He sticks it up to pre-planned plans and events he goes to.
I didn’t want to hold back sex but I’m glad I guess I did.

[RavVid]

Guess it is as well since he doesn't seem to be that enthusiastic.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

What to do is talking openly, with him, about how you see things, about what you want, about what he wants, about all there is to talk about. And please, sex is not a bargaining chip, really not.

Really, really not !

[Nirmroth]

Its "pushing him away" and you haven't even meet him thrice yet in a spawn of 2 months? Sorry but he is only interested in something casual. Of you're not then end things or have fun up to you but dont go into that with the wrong expectations.

[tilly09]

Thank you for your honesty. We have told each other we want a relationship but I’m starting to think he lied. I really value quality time and he hasn’t made any effort towards this.
Thanks again I just need help now ending things whilst addressing this reason as to why I’m ending it. Any help would be greatly appreciated thank youuu!

[Nirmroth]

You dont really need a reason even a "Sry X I dont see this moving forward, its better if we stop seeing each other" should be enough.

If he presses for a reason you can always block hehe or be honest yourself but then possible prepare for a draining texting

[Anonymous]

You move on, forget about him. He’s just trying to get laid. Something about you tells him you’re easy. If I was you I’d forget him. If not don’t be surprised he just wants sex.

[dudeinohio]

Kind of a double edged sword. If you sleep with him, he could dump. you. if you don't sleep with him, he could dump you.

[Cheerfull009]

Wait and observe him before going to sleep with him,

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Have you seen each other naked?

[tilly09]

We’ve had a cheeky nude pics sesh

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Nice. My advice: try foreplay. Let him rile you up by playing with your nipples and pussy

[tilly09]

Lol I’m down for that but like I said we’ve only officially met once we live in the same city but still I don’t see any proactiveness to seeing me, and the more I see him the more I will want him. I can’t date someone I hardly know irl?

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Foreplay will def speed up that process lmao

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

You can also do video calls and cyber stuff if you really try.