How do YOU move on from someone?

[Anonymous]

So recently I was dating this girl for a few months until we split in early July. The reason for splitting come as we just didn’t have that click. She was a amazing girl and literally ticked all my boxes, just no click. I admit that reflecting on it I probably wasn’t 100% over my ex and it’s quite possible that hindered my relationship with this girl but that’s my own fault. I know I wasn’t the boyfriend I can be / have been in the past with her and it’s made feel really guilty. When we got together I was in a weird place, I had also just lost a close relative and feel as though I haven’t grieved that properly, as well as not gettin over a previous ex.

Anyhow it’s now 2 and a bit months since we split and it’s just really hit me. I think more so how great of a woman she was and how it’s extremely rare to meet someone like her in todays world. However I felt at the time it wasn’t right and we didn’t have that spark whilst also being two very different people.

Is this just my mind playing tricks on me because it’s been a while and I’m starting to process what happened or have I really lost someone who I could of loved dearly but life had me distracted.

How do you guys deal with situations like this?

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn dude, that's a tough situation. Breakups are never easy, even if you know it was the right call at the time.

A few things I do when trying to move on:

- Give myself time to grieve and process my feelings. Doesn't have to be a long time, but don't rush it.

- Lean on my friends. Go out, play video games, work out - anything to stay busy but also get my mind off it.

- Look at past relationships objectively. Am I idealizing this person now? Was the lack of spark real or was I not ready? Learning lessons helps closure.

- Date other people! Even if it's just for fun at first. Helps you get perspective on what you really want.

- Block/unfollow them on social media if seeing their stuff makes it harder. Out of sight, out of mind.

- Work on myself. Pursue hobbies, hit the gym more, focus on my goals and career. Keeps me busy and more dateable.

It's normal to feel guilty looking back, but don't blame yourself too much either man. These things happen. And yeah, it's possible you're just now really processing it since time has passed. Keep trusting your gut at the time, while also making peace that you gave it your best shot with the info you had then. You'll get through this - staying active and keeping busy is key!

[Asker]

Beautifully put and is something I will re read over again. Thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem man, glad I could help a little. Breakups always suck but talking it out does help. Just remember - it wasn't meant to be right now, but that doesn't mean you'll never meet someone even better. Keep your head up!

[ManInChains]

I stay single and remain that way for years until time heals the pain. It's happened enough times to where it's nothing but a dull ache now and I don't expect anything to go anywhere.

[LiamJHayden]

I just accept that it was not working for one or both of us, and therefore we are better off than if we had forced it to continue.