Are you the first to approach or do you prefer to be approached?

[thegreenyogi]

[ProbablyClueless]

I prefer to be approached, but I realize how timid and uncomfortable so many women are with expressing that kind of interest. I don't mind doing the approach for a woman I have the right vibe about.

I sort of discounted how difficult expressing interest is for women earlier in life... I don't know... maybe I just didn't care...

I'm much more empathetic to women's struggles these days. It's just so obvious that there are a lot of self confidence issues, social programming, and negative life experiences at play. And the group of people we're asking to overcome those issues is just not equipped to do it.

[thegreenyogi]

The best answer yet!!

[ProbablyClueless]

Glad I could contribute! Thank you for MHO

[thegreenyogi]

Welcome!

[Ladsin2]

"And the group of people we're asking to overcome those issues is just not equipped to do it."
What do you mean by this portion?

[ProbablyClueless]

@Ladsin2 What I mean is that we're asking women to do something that is so foreign to them that it's just overwhelming. Most of them have neither the skills nor personality traits needed to be as assertive as we're asking them to be.

They either don't know how to approach the problem, or the solution goes against every fiber of their being.

[Ladsin2]

Interesting, thanks.
Why do you think they don't have those skills/ traits?

[ProbablyClueless]

@ladsin2 Probably a combination of genetics and cultural influences.

Society has never particularly rewarded women for acting that way in the past, so there's not really a cultural influence to make women more bold. Because society has never rewarded women for being bold, the women who have been successful in attracting desirable mates and attaining a good life for themselves have generally been socially savvy, docile and outwardly gentle, You have that pattern happen enough times and eventually being gentle and compliant becomes part of the genetic code.

[Ladsin2]

Thanks.

[bananathunder]

I don't mind either way... but if I am approached, I at least know that the other person IS interested. It at least takes out that initial guessing game :)

[bananathunder]

thanks for the MHO most kindest of question asker lol

[thegreenyogi]

@bananathunder You're welcome!!🫶

[Pohjolan]

Um you do realise that women also approach men they are not interested in?

[jvnxs]

I'm on the shyer end of the spectrum (because I just don't like talking, social battery drainage and such), but I figured that waiting around for what I want won't exactly do me the favor so I approach. I find myself attracted to people like me, who are on the quieter end of the stick. And obviously, you can't exactly expect a shyer guy (or person depends on your preference!) to come up to you like that. So, I try to approach typically, though I do get approached when I'm off guard.

[jojouzumaki]

It is expected for a man to be the first to approach. Most of ladies expect guys to do it and when guys do what do they get? More often than not, some women will reject them in instant, few just shoo them away and couple of women ignore them. I couldn’t imagine how awful the feeling must have been to them.


Much said, I prefer to approach first. It will not only give the men boost of confidence… I, myself is being honest that I find him interesting. And if I got rejected I’ll be fine at least I tried. Lol

[SvenTree]

As a man, being rejected is the least of my concerns. One of the best posible answers a man can get is a polite "no thank you". The problem is some women will go out of their way to embarrass the guy, make him ought to be labled a creep or a predator. That can be very damaging to a man's career and reputation.

[Makeushiver]

I am always flattered when approached. I've also been amazed at the style of the approaches. Many things I might have wanted to try myself but have considered too forward have been employed. In more than a few cases very provocative surprisingly up front methods have been used. I sometimes think I'm naive insofar as behavior is concerned. The attempts left no room for misunderstanding. Some have made my fondest memories. It has also made me realize that I had missed many opportunities upon reflection of interactions that I didn't clearly understand. I very much enjoy being accosted

[SvenTree]

I'd very much rather be approached. Knowing when it's appropriate to ask a woman out can be a minefield.

I don't want to bother her or be abusive to her.

According to some women:

If he's older than her, he's a predator.

If she is at work in the service industry and he asks her out, he's taking advantage of power dianamics.

If he just met you, he's objectifying her.

If they were already platonic friends, he's a predator.

If he has more money or a better job, he's taking advantage of power dianamics.

According to some mainstream media, even looking in her direction is sexual harassment.

All of the women I've dated in the last couple of years have asked me out. I think women should take initiative more often.

[paledreams]

Nowadays or since even my late teens early 20s - I'd rather just be approached 👀💜😈✌🏻♀️ by women. Lol

[paledreams]

Attractive women that I'd fancy, though lol ♀️ random women please don't necessarily approach me - unless it's not to flirt, phew 😅

[thegreenyogi]

Lol!! I'm the same!!

[ManInChains]

Why would I approach a woman when the last time I did I ended up with an ex parte ppo? Nah, I've been don't approaching women after that. If they're interested they can come to me. I know they won't though.

[Datboi65]

I'm not currently thinking about dating, but if I was interested I would make the approach. I'm old-fashioned and I think men should make the first move.

[JSkye]

I am almost always the one to approach, but I would greatly prefer to be approached. I just don't waste time and go directly to the guys (and girls) whom I am interested in

[red324]

Where do you typically approach a guy?

[JSkye]

@red324 wherever I see a guy that interests me that does not appear to be taken

[red324]

Good for you. Guess I need to do more to waive around my totally available ring finger 😂

[JSkye]

@red324 LOL. I mean, I look for that. I also observed a bit to see if he is there with someone or not

[TheLovelyWoman]

I prefer to be approached unless I really like the guy then I will approach.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

ummm, it seems often unclear to me who is approaching whom? lol

[MicahRaine]

I'm usually approached by girls I don't like and approach the girls I do like.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

hahaha, the definition of "life sucks" lol

[MicahRaine]

Lol naw idc. I haven't been turned down yet when I ask girls out

[disappoint3d]

I wish more women could realize how scared they have made us all to talk to them this day and age and then approach guys they are interested in more often because it would make most of us very happy and i would never react negatively to that.

[NathanDavis]

either way... has worked me, and we ended up together anyway

[coolbreeze]

I been approached a lot and I also do the approaching.

[Kelly6]

@thegreenyogi I always approach
First because I don't like playing games

[Ms_Facesitter]

I prefer to be approached. It's actually less pressure for me, because I can go at my own pace.

[Juxtapose]

I prefer to be approached because women are so used to being approached themselves it doesn't even mean anything when you do it.

[LiamJHayden]

I cold approach. I am not bothered by rejection

[elaphe]

I would love being approached because I can be somewhat shy with women, but usually the man is the one expected to pursue the woman.

[Anonymous]

I’ve stopped approaching women. I let them approach me first and introduce themselves first. I works out for me 100% of the time.

[Anonymous]

I prefer to be approached, I like assertive and self-confident girls.

[Ladsin2]

Obviously I prefer to be approached, but I wouldn't get any play if I waited all day lol.

[debtfree_oneyear]

as a guy we are almost the ones doing the approaching (asking out)

[Anonymous]

I don't like prison food so I'll take being approached

[Slim57]

I'm the first to approach but I prefer to be approached

[valentina4eva]

i def prefer to be approached!!😊😊

[Mwolf]

Be approached

[Anonymous]

i would rather throw a lemon at her head

[12karen]

I prefer to be approached tbh

[chocolatetwopointo]

neither, thats awkward

[RedInnocent69]

I prefer to be approached, actually.

[eagle1951]

i have to, know one comes to me

[Jmmmfi4]

I NEVER APPROACH. DON'T KNOW HOW.

[scott04sa22]

Neither

[MrGSpotHer]

All depends I guess