Why is he blocking and un-blocking me?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy over the summer. Things were good and we were texting pretty consistently. He was talking about future plans and making it seem like he intended to date me. We texted/ had "long distance" for a month until he moved to my city. So we didn't hang out many times.

I assumed he was talking to other girls, and he knew I was talking to someone else. But I ended up asking where our relationship was going and he said he wanted to "go with the flow" and started acting different.

Eventually he told me we should just be friends because I basically scared him off. He is an avoidant, he has childhood trauma and got cheated on in his last relationship. He also seems to have narcassistic tendencies.

I didn't text him after that because I felt like I'd be chasing after someone who didn't want me. After a couple days he reached out and asked if we could talk as friends and see where it goes. Then he started telling me about this girl he went on a date with, and how he wrote a paragraph about how horrible she was a sent it to her (he does that with a lot of girls, but he never sent me one).

Still after reaching out to me and asking to be friends, his communication was still bad, so I just told him that I got the vibe he wasn't interested in me at all and that we should just leave it.

He didn't respond, and blocked me on Instagram 2 days later. Then unblocked me that afternoon (so yes we still follow each other) And a week later, removed me on Snapchat. But he has public stories so I can still see. I don't watch or like any of his stuff. And I haven't reacted or said anything at all. But why is he doing this?

So yeah. Did he ever like me to begin with, and why is he "half-blocking"?

[Lurix]

Dude, it sounds like he’s got some serious issues he's dealing with. Blocking and unblocking you? That's classic mixed signals. He probably wants to keep you around but is too scared to fully commit because of his past trauma.


Honestly, with that avoidant personality, he’s likely running from anything that feels too intense or scary for him. And let’s be real, with those narcissistic tendencies, he might be wanting to keep you on the line just for his ego boost. It’s messed up, but some people thrive on that push-pull dynamic.


If he keeps jumping back and forth, it’s a sign he’s not ready for anything serious. You deserve someone who knows what they want and can communicate like an adult. Just focus on yourself and don’t get too wrapped up in his emotional rollercoaster!

[Asker]

Thank you for the detailed response, I really appreciate that! It has been a struggle for the past 2 weeks (since the last time we talked) and I've been questioning my self-worth, and what I did wrong, etc. It is a shame, because I genuinely believe we would've been compatible if he wasn't struggling with these issues. But the reality is I need to look at him as a whole person and not just the things I like.

[Lurix]

I totally get where you’re coming from. It’s hard not to question yourself when things don’t go as planned, especially when you see potential in a connection. Just remember, it’s not your fault he’s struggling with his issues. You deserve someone who can meet you halfway and isn’t weighed down by their past. Focus on your own growth and self-worth because that’s what really matters. If he can’t appreciate that, it’s better to move on and find someone who can. Keep your head up!

[WhitneySnow]

He was never really into you. He blocked you and removed you on Snap because he was mad at you for dumping him, then unblocked you just in case he ever wanted to talk to you again.