What to do when you still want to get to know someone but there's no romantic spark? What to say?

[Anonymous]

Went on a date. The guy was a near perfect gentleman.

He was such a breath of fresh air but I didn't feel that much attraction from him and I was pretty laid back.

He is a very very quiet guy and a real brainiac.

But again, I don't think we were feeling one another in that way.

What to do? I would still like to hang out again and know more about him.

Updates

29 d

Went on another date. I realize that I am finally asserting my value more when dating and it's yielding good results. He is growing on me and seems to genuinely like me. He's quiet and actions and words are lining up so far. So I am starting to like him and he's cute in fact.

Updates

27 d

I enjoyed the date and his company. A couple things happened that I didn't like. He also never followed up like he did last time and I'm realizing he likely had some objectives with me and wasn't really interested. I could see he was testing me in certain ways that didn't sit well with me about how he would want me to act so it looked promising but it's looking like a no.

[Anonymous]

You have to understand 9 times out of 10 to a guy this means you want him as an orbiter. Of course no self respecting guy wants to be that.

So I'd say say nothing. When he ask you to define your status with him eventually at some point then you tell him what you feel. Maybe by then you are feeling him.

Just don't lead him on. If your friends be a friend. Pay for your own 💩 for example.

[Christian_Cartier]

What did you do on your date?

[Asker]

Late lunch drinks talked. Great Convo but he didn't open the door for me

[Christian_Cartier]

If you do something more exciting you will have better chance of getting his testosterone pumping. Then you can feel your spark.

[Asker]

Oh ok. Well he's intriguing for sure. But he was late, even though he called ahead, and he admitted he has a lateness issue coupled with some admitted issues with workplace protocols I think he has a passive aggressive side

[NewWaves]

Yeah I'd keep getting to know him. Platonically at least for the moment. Not everyone gets that spark immediately.

I was told not too long ago a story of a woman who after years of this guy chasing her (she felt nothing for him, not even attracted to him), she relented, gave him a shot. Now married and she's crazy in love.

[Asker]

That's nice. A lot of times the long time piners end up treating their dreamgirl horrendously. Happy for them.

[NewWaves]

It is a cute story.
It depends on the form of chasing. From what I was told, it wasn't the creepy salivating kind. He was honest about his feelings for her, was always there for her, which she eventually realized. That worked for him.

[NewWaves]

Awww cute update

[red-lipstick-girl]

If he is a gentleman I will give him a chance and continue the relationship because there are very few good men in the world

[Asker]

Well, he's been quiet so I guess he wasn't feeling it either.

[Fireguy17]

It may take time to develop.
One of my best relationships started out very slowly.
The more I got to know her the more feelings I had for her.
So give it more than just 1 date.
Life is not a Hallmark movie.

[lorenzomichael]

Tell him you’re gay and then try not to bring it up again and see if feelings transpire between you too. if they do, tell him the truth, tell me you were just bullshitting tell him something. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. But the only way to keep a straight guy, your friend that isn’t gonna expect anything from you is if he thinks you’re gay.

[Coden7]

Probably some other issues impacting the date. It was good of him to let you know he was running late. Give him another shot, at least he’s nice and might have a better day to work with

[In_Trance]

You tell them there's no romantic spark and then you move on

[Wise4myage]

Just tell him you’d rather be friends.

[Asker]

No that's dumb

[seanscoopers]

Waste of time