Late 20s, lost my virginity and ruined my first relationship, how to move on?

[Gobzapper]

I am 28, she’s 27. Thing is she was my first with everything ever. I never had a girlfriend before her and she was not only drop dead 10/10 gorgeous, but I really connected with her. In fact, I knew her for 12 years and I asked her out, she said yes.

I lost my virginity to her and she was extremely disappointed. She said she thought I’d have more experience than that. Problem is I genuinely loved her, everything about her. She said she couldn’t handle someone who just began everything and I haven’t heard from her since. It’s been 3 months now and I’m blocked from everything except Snapchat.

I’m not gonna reach out to her because I don’t want to be blocked on Snapchat too, just need help coping. I’m never gonna find someone like this again.

Updates

1 y

26. 26 not 18 dammit

Updates

1 y

Fuck. I’m screwing up with numbers left and right. I said I was 28 in my post. I am 26, I typed it wrong.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn dude, that's a really tough situation. I can understand why you're feeling so lost and down on yourself after that experience. Losing your virginity can be a really vulnerable and emotional thing, especially when it doesn't go as planned. And then to have your girlfriend react the way she did - that's gotta be absolutely crushing.

It's understandable that you feel like you'll never find someone like her again. She was your first real connection, and that kind of first love is hard to get over. But try not to be so hard on yourself. You were just inexperienced, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of people have awkward first times.

The best thing you can do now is focus on healing and moving forward. Don't dwell on the past or beat yourself up over it. Instead, try to channel that energy into bettering yourself. Pick up a new hobby, spend time with supportive friends, work on your confidence. Those things will serve you much better in the long run.

And who knows, maybe one day you'll reconnect with this girl in a different way. But for now, let it go. She made her choice, and that's on her. You deserve someone who's going to appreciate you for who you are, not judge you for your inexperience.

This is gonna be a process, but you've got this, man. Take it one day at a time, be patient with yourself, and know that you're gonna come out of this an even stronger person. You've got so much life ahead of you. Don't let this one relationship define you. You got this.

[talentedclock]

So first off, she was just using you for sex. There was no connection there if she broke up with you after one night of bad sex, that's your own desires manufacturing that feeling. It doesn't matter that she hasn't blocked you on snapchat, you should unfollow her for your own sanity.

Second, sex isn't the end-all be-all of life so it doesn't matter if you never find a 10/10 knockout bombshell to stick your dick inside of again, you should be focused on living a fulfilling life and connecting with people as friends and lovers.

Finally, it's stuff like this that should help people realize why waiting for sex until you're married to someone who genuinely loves and cares for you is the best way to go about it.

[Gobzapper]

I couldn’t care less about the whole bombshell part of her. It was just an added bonus imho.

I loved her for her, that’s why this hurts.

[talentedclock]

Believe me, I get it. I've also loved women who didn't love me back. But you've got to rip it off like a bandaid so you can move on. All you were was a fling, there's not even the potential for friendship here so drop her and live your life.
The last thing you want to do is drag this out and push the possibility for better relationships out even further into the future. You don't want those regrets.

[Gobzapper]

Be honest if you agree with the anon lady in that I’m “too old and aged out to be doing this all” by now.

Kind of feels like it.

[talentedclock]

I don't. People go through these stages in life at different ages and these days especially it's happening later than ever.

I can't stress enough that you should learn from this and find a girl who genuinely cares for you. Don't sleep around for experience because that could end up killing your emotional empathy and don't shell yourself off from other relationships either.

Take a break if you need it, but the best thing to do is get back to living a healthy life, making friends, and dating girls.

[Gobzapper]

Only women who want to date me are gold diggers in their late teens/early 20s.

They see a handsome guy with money who’s single and lonely and think they can milk me for all I’m worth.

[talentedclock]

Nah, toxic thinking like that is only going to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Anonymous]

why would you still love her? seems like she's given her love to other guys first and put you at the end of the queue and now she's lost patience by your experience

[Gobzapper]

She was a good person and she genuinely thought I was a good guy

[Anonymous]

You are too old to be facing this right now. This is a hurdle most people jump during their teenager years. You have some catching up to do.

[Gobzapper]

Well I can’t go back in time.

[Anonymous]

She was older than u?

[Gobzapper]

Yep. I’m 26 she’s 26. Fucked up my post

[Gobzapper]

She’s 27. Today is not my day with typing numbers.

I’m the chief accountant at my job too lol

[Opinion Owner]

Why do u love her

[Gobzapper]

Knew her 12 years, we had a shockingly strong bond and helped each other when we were down.

If we could financially afford it, both would help the other..

That’s very rare in this day and age

[Opinion Owner]

How do u Both. Look. At this age u are supposed to be discussing marriage. Not how u wanna lose your virginity and hook up

[Opinion Owner]

What do u like about her

[Gobzapper]

Well she’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve met and I’m like a 5-6. Does it matter?

I didn’t care about that at this point, not one little bit. I know this because she’s the only woman that pretty who I felt comfortable texting.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh. How do u both look? Height weight?

[Gobzapper]

I’m 2 inches taller. I’m 5’9, she’s 5’7.

I WAS overweight, then I killed that by working out a lot. Don’t know her weight.

[Opinion Owner]

Why do u think u will never find someone like her

[Gobzapper]

She and I had 12 years history. She was there for me at my lowest in life (which was worse than this).

I would’ve been there for hers too if I could’ve, she knows that.

I can’t imagine finding another woman who I feel that way for and who felt that way about me.

[Opinion Owner]

What makes her a bombshell

[Gobzapper]

Someone else on this post used that term but I think it’s funny so I kept using it.

She is one though, for sure

[Opinion Owner]

Why? What’s so special about her

[Opinion Owner]

What makes her a bombshell?)?

[Gobzapper]

Perfect face, naturally fit with barely effort, beautiful red hair, symmetry.

But that’s not why I asked her out

[Opinion Owner]

What texture and length hair?

[Gobzapper]

I’m done answering these questions.

[Opinion Owner]

Why is she the one

[Opinion Owner]

? What hair does a bombshell women have? Length? Texture?