If you see a woman you had a crush on constantly talking about her deadbeat baby daddy on social media, would that make you like her less?

[Anonymous]

[Summeroflove]

It would depend on what she’s talking about, having kids with someone you’re split up with is a challenge you’re going to have to interact with them on some level or another. Especially when it comes to custody disputes.

I would say if she keeps going back to Mr. Deadbeat he can have her if she knows who he is and keeps going back.

[ohsheeT]

I mean I can understand it once or twice but to continue it over and over and over now I would have to get away because that just means that she's into drama and she wants everybody to know about it and she wants to suck everybody into it I would say see you have a good day

[talentedclock]

100%

Not only is she a single mom, which isn't a deal breaker, but a major red flag, but she's also got a lot of baggage with her ex. So combined that pushes it well into "not touching that even with a 10 foot pole" territory.

[Asker]

Why is being a single mother a red flag?

[talentedclock]

It's often a sign of really poor decision making on the woman's part. It usually means she either couldn't keep her legs closed and had a kid outside of marriage and the douchebag then left her or she married some douchebag who then left her.

And I know what you're going to say "Oh but, that's the fault of the men." And you're right, but I'm also right that in those cases, the woman was a moron who slept with or married a complete douchebag. That shows really poor judgement on her part and it's why many guys stay far away from single moms.

There's also cases where the woman was the scummy one in the relationship and treated the guy like shit until he couldn't stand it anymore or she divorced him to get a free ride on his money from the courts. And in those cases again no guy wants to come near that.

Do all of those hold true for all single moms? No, of course not, but it's true enough that guys either refuse to date single mothers or are really cautious about trying to date them.

[Asker]

What if he changed once the baby arrived?
What if he sold the women a dream that he actually wanted to have a family?
What if he doesn't provide for his daughter or son?
How is that the woman's fault?

[talentedclock]

Did you read my reply at all?

[Asker]

I did but it seems like you blame mostly everything on the women. How can she know the guy is a douche if that's not what he showed until the baby arrived?

[talentedclock]

Okay, so once again: I said my examples aren't always true for all single moms, but they are usually true.

Of course, most single moms would like to believe that it was 100% the man's fault for leaving them, but that's rarely the case. Most failed relationships happen because of faults by both people, not just one.

If a single mom wants to show that the stereotype doesn't fit her, then the first thing she should do is take a long hard look at herself and be honest about what poor decisions or poor behaviors she was responsible for that caused the relationship to fail and fix those. And constantly whining about her deadbeat baby daddy doesn't show she beats the stereotype at all, it shows the opposite.

[Asker]

I got it. So the fact that she constantly complains about her deadbeat baby daddy is a massive red flag? It shows that she can't self reflect?

[talentedclock]

That and nobody wants to hear people whine about their ex either. It doesn't matter if they had kids together or not.

Obviously, the topic of the ex will occasionally come up because that's the kid's biological father, but just avoid it as much as possible to show you're past it and when the topic does occasionally come up, avoid shit talking him, again to show you've matured and left what's in the past in the past.

[David5668]

I let my ‘friends’ make that decision.

[jahaims]

I wouldn't have a crush on a whore

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆

[Asker]

What do you mean?