Ladies, how do you sort through your options to find quality over quantity?

Question

In a sea of potential suitors, it’s important to distinguish the gems from the stones. With so many men vying for your attention, the real power lies in your ability to filter properly. What strategies or specific qualities do you prioritize to see to it you’re not just settling for anyone?

What are the non-negotiables that a man must meet for you to consider taking the relationship to the next level?

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Well this is true and just because someone gets a lot of attention. There on one extreme is the creeps, turds, etc on the other players, fuck boys, man whores, etc. Now some of these people on these extremes are pretty obvious bur others not so much. The same for men when it comes to women some people aren’t as they seem at first.

Understand this too, putting yourself out there and showing effort to men you’re attracted to. The men you’re probably interested in also have a lot of others interested in them so the same as you’re going for the best option so are those men. So be the kind of woman a decent man would want.

Things to look out for is their past. Peoples past matters… If someone including a man has a high body count. Consider that he will probably cheat on you at some point or another. Consider that he’s bringing a lot of baggage form a lot of other people into your relationship. Understand you’re going to be compared to every other chick he’s bumped uglies with. As many people talk about women's past…. Mens matter just as much.

Same with if he has a history of abusive behavior. Creepy behavior. A long criminal record. The list just goes on. Be aware of those people sure people can change only if they really want to though as well as people relapse.

Wanting sex too early in the relationship is a major red flag as well. People wanting sex too fast most of the time are promiscuous. As well as that may be what he’s wanting to use you for. Why doesn’t he go for some slut? Because those are easy they get bored they want someone new to conquer. It sounds fucked up but that’s their fucked up way of thinking not mine.

A major red flag too is bringing more negativity into your life then positive. What I mean is… Being condescending. Shutting your down with negativity. Making you question yourself. Making catty comments. The list goes on

One sidedness. If you’re finding yourself putting all the effort in to getting little to none in return then that’s the rest of the relationship most likely. If you’re planning everything, initiating everything, paying for everything, and everything else. It’s not worth it. Either he isn’t interested enough or is using you.

Understand this too…. Nobody is perfect. Including yourself. You can’t expect someone to be perfect all the time but you also don’t have to tolerate someone whose a shitty person.

Getting into a relationship should develop naturally not too fast and not to slow. Someone trying to rush into marriage or on the other extreme future faking is a huge red flag. Be aware of those two extremes.

Obviously wasting years of someone’s life is wrong. But there is that other extreme when someone’s pushing marriage way too fast. What is their real intentions?

Zack-Bann · Accepted Answer

Pretty sure the first mistake is to have “non-negotiables” because that invites judgement and prejudice which might drive away a potentially good suitor over a trivial manner

I would say a good way to select a partner is to ask yourself “would you be happy if your child brought home this person”
It helps you be critical without being shallow because you’ll ignore the superficial stuff and look for real red flags

Beckybooboo · Accepted Answer

I haven't had that many "relationships" but the one I'm in now, was a guy I would see on the sidewalk almost every day as we walked to work (we worked in separate buildings but shared the same parking lot). What drew me in, was how much of a gentleman he was lol He was so cute when we were waiting to cross the street one day and he said, "since we see each other just about everyday, let me introduce myself". As we would talk each morning, I started to realize the amazing qualities he had. He had been at the same job for several years, he was very humble, he never talked about all he had accomplished throughout his life, even though I wanted to learn more about him, he was genuinely interested in learning about me. He loved his family and was loyal to them and he just seemed like a very gracious person. I was falling in love before he FINALLY asked me out! 🥰 After two years together, none of it has changed. He will be such an amazing father. On a side note, I definitely knew he was a keeper, when he would eat anything and everything I put in front of him! It's nice being in a relationship when your tastes in food are the same 😂

Ms_Facesitter · Accepted Answer

I never really kept people in mind for dating. I either like someone and see if it works out or I move on. Always just one person at a time. Most of the time people approached me when I wasn't in the right head space or I didn't feel anything or they move too fast. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong person. So I never had the trouble having to sort. Just one at a time.

When he approached me, I wasn't thinking of a relationship. He was cute, but that is what he is at the time, a cute guy and nothing more. But the difference between him and all the others was, that he didn't rush or push anything. What I looked for in a partner first was just being of the same mind, because I came from a very messy family situation and butting heads at home all the time for stupid things drove me crazy. So that I prioritized, I just wanted peace of mind. That while being with a person you love sounded great :) and it is.

Simslover92 · Answer

I'm really simple-
Must have a job or working on it.
Must be intelligent and have hobbies.
Must be emotionally intelligent.
Must believe in God.
Must love music as much as I do.
Not a must but a bonus if he's creative.

From there, a few extra things I look for is being somewhat weird and nerdy.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

Not a lady, but something women I have been in a relationship with, including my wife, say that something they really like is that I am very transparent about my intentions, in a good way.

Agape93 · Answer

I run background checks. Before the first date, I know his job history, his criminal record, his credit scores, who his family is etc.

ItsJill · Answer

I check his family, social media, what he does for a living, and being a police officer it's easy for me to run a background check.  My current boyfriend, I should have written him off because of his family (bunch of narcissistic lowlives, they go on scamming people and sister has a criminal record), but he's the white sheep and openly distances himself from them, so I gave him a chance.

Unit1 · Answer

They do it by demanding 6 feet tall guys See how that's working out for them

rachel776 · Answer

It is a sea, so I just observe until I see one who gets my attention, and then I keep things casual until I know I like him. There's no formula, the thing that made me like the last guy is different from the thing that will make me like the next guy.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I befriend all guys I like then I get to know him that way. I don't like to go straight for a guy openly showing romantic interest in me since they try to push the relationship towards sex too fast.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

imagine being a stupid girl having to choose from a lump of gold and a rock. the answer seems simple at first. but that gold is fool's and that rock was polished into a gem. girls motives must be determined early on

Gwendoline · Answer

I agree. I found remaining chaste discouraged a lot of would be suitors only intrested in sex.

NathanDavis · Answer

clean fingernails...

katiesmuff · Answer

Well I don't recall having that issue so I have no idea how to deal with it.

NicholasRedone · Answer

I think I have an idea in my mind of an ideal woman ♀️ that would suit my tastes

kaucky1 · Answer

Guys just wanna use you they brutal insecure mean and they morph into me do bad things and I not hate girls at all cuz I feel it when I touch it down there it convulses so why treat them like crap

GlowUpGirly5 · Answer

You go for the generous, provider, who is intelligent, good looking and has a career.

Connie88 · Answer

Quality always of quality and in personality to. I tend to go for less flashy people.

Jennz6 · Answer

Not for me

Ladies, how do you sort through your options to find quality over quantity?

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What’s the best quality you lookout for in a significant order?

Ladies, how do you sort through your options to find quality over quantity?

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What’s the best quality you lookout for in a significant order?

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