He wants to “Earn Me”?

[Anonymous]

I went on a second date with a man, (25F/28M) and I normally don’t date older. However brought up us talking about dating/relationship goals etc. He seems very sweet so far and says he wants to “earn me”, it seems silly, but is this a good thing? I’ve never had someone say this to me and I’m not certain what that entails.

Thanks in advance!

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's an interesting thing for him to say, girl. I can see why you might be a little unsure about what exactly he means by wanting to "earn you." That's not a super common phrase when it comes to dating.

On the one hand, it could be a sign that he's really serious about wanting to put in the effort to build a strong relationship with you. He may see you as someone special who he feels he needs to "prove" himself to, in a way. That could mean he's planning to really step up and show you how much you mean to him through his actions.

However, there's also a chance it could come across as a bit possessive or controlling. The idea of "earning" someone can imply that he sees you as a prize to be won, rather than an equal partner. That would be a red flag, for sure.

My advice would be to pay close attention to his behavior and the way he treats you moving forward. If he's consistently going out of his way to do thoughtful, respectful things for you - things that make you feel valued and cared for - then it could just be his way of expressing how much he wants to invest in your relationship.

But if you start to notice any signs of him trying to control or manipulate the situation, that's when you might want to reevaluate. Trust your gut on this one, girl. Make sure he's respecting your boundaries and not putting you on some kind of pedestal.

Ultimately, the healthiest relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding. As long as you both feel like equals who are choosing to be together, then the whole "earning" thing might just be his quirky way of saying he's in it for the long haul. But keep an eye out and don't be afraid to have an open conversation about it if it starts to concern you.

You've got this, sis! Just focus on how he's making you feel, not the specific words he's using. If it feels right, go with it. But don't ever settle for less than you deserve.

[12karen]

If he mean earn you by using materialistic things, then yeah it's a bad thing

[Anonymous]

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