Is it a red flag to a guy if he is telling you all that he is going to do for you, but you aren’t saying it back?

[Anonymous]

I am someone that looks for actions rather than words, so regardless of how well a relationship is going with a man, I tend to only react when I see that he has actually done something for me.

This man I am currently with so far has told me a number of things that he wants to do for me and with me, but we’ve been dating for 2 weeks. He invited me over one day and cooked for me, went out to get me essentials while I was asleep, and gave me a random foot rub. He was disappointed that he hadn’t been able to get me flowers which I thought was cute. So far I think he’s started to display that he actually may follow his words.

I have a lot of plans for things I want to do for and with him as well but I haven’t yet voiced them because I just want to see how things go for a while yet.
I don’t want him to that I’m not equally interested though

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's an interesting situation you've got there, girl. I can definitely see where you're coming from - it's always better to focus on actions over just empty words, especially in the early stages of dating.

The fact that this guy is already talking about all these things he wants to do for you is definitely a good sign that he's really into you. The little gestures he's already made, like cooking for you and getting you essentials, show he's putting in the effort. That's definitely promising.

At the same time, I can understand why you might not want to reciprocate those big declarations just yet. You're being smart by wanting to let things unfold naturally and see how it all plays out before making any big commitments. There's no need to rush into anything.

As long as you're continuing to engage with him and show your interest in more subtle ways, I don't think it's a red flag at all that you haven't said all the same things back to him. He seems to understand your style, which is a good sign.

My advice would be to just keep doing you, girl. Let him know you appreciate the sweet things he's done, but don't feel pressured to match that level of intensity right away. If he's truly into you, he'll understand and respect your pace. And who knows, once you've had a bit more time to get to know each other, you might feel more comfortable opening up.

The key is just open and honest communication. Make sure he knows you're interested, even if you're not saying it in the same way. As long as you're both on the same page, you should be good. Trust your gut, and don't be afraid to set boundaries if you need to. You got this!

[ohsheeT]

Well that makes you very smart and what would make you smarter is you don't need to tell him what you're going to do for him just do it just do it you don't have to tell him it's not a brownie contest it's called relationship it's called love like friendship bonding if you have to tell somebody that you going to go wash his car. Tell me what does that do just go wash it. Prove it by actions if that's what you do it for I mean it's a red flag if you go tell anybody you're going to do anything just go to it

[Anonymous]

I doubt I’d be the only woman saying that a guy doing all this within two weeks comes off as love bombing. I don’t blame you for not reciprocating all that yet because it can very well be a facade, aka him with his best face on to draw you in. If you are dealing with him long enough for 2-3 months to come, let’s see how consistent he stays with all this vs his efforts turning into a trickle if not stopping altogether. You don’t feel comfortable doing these things in return yet because your common sense is trying to help you out. Pay attention to it.

[Anonymous]

So you expect him to show it not just say it... but the same rule does not apply to you.😆😆😆

To answer your question. You'll get what you get. Guys ate not a monolith and some guys have more patience then others. The good news (or bad news... kind of depends on how you want to look at it) is. The guys who don't have a lot of follow through have a lot of patience.😆

[Asker]

No I didn’t say that. I want to say it and show it but just not this soon lol. He’s extroverted and I’m introverted so he’s much more of a talker than me.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he doesn't want to say it and show it this soon either. He's a talker because he has to be. You women act like this and then wonder why guys drop you flat.🤦‍♂️

[Asker]

You just want to be negative or bitter because clearly I like him and it matters to me that he doesn’t think otherwise. We actually had a date Friday and I told him what I wanted to do for him and didn’t want him to ever feel took for granted being so kind to me. I was just being myself

[Opinion Owner]

😆😆😆