What is women's obsession with shiny rocks i.e. diamonds and all things that sparkle?

[everett520]

I have always been fascinated by how women swoon over their friends rings when they get engaged. Please, enlighten me.

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+1 y

Several have stated that the feelings behind the ring or the man behind the ring are far more important than the ring itself. I wholly agree. Then my question becomes, why have the ring at all? That being said, what would be an acceptable alternative?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the answers. This article might offer a little more insight into the history of engagement rings. link

[timberlake]

hmm... I think that if a guy gets his significant other a beautiful ring that she loves, I believe that it shows how well he knows her and her style and her taste. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if the guy knows his girl so well that he gives the ring of perfection, it shows that she's really his best friend and he's still trying to impress her even after so much time together. if a guy gets his girlfriend a gold ring and all she wears is silver jewelry, he needs to be smacked, haha.

i'm not really a 'diamond is a girl's best friend' type of female. I will actually be fine with just a plain silver band. the ring itself is just a public announcement that you are deeply committed to someone and you're proud and happy about it. if I got engaged and the guy didn't want rings, I'd be upset because he's married to me, yes, but nobody else will know and that makes it seem like he's ashamed or something. idk... hard to explain. marriage is a deep, life-long commit and if you can't even wear a ring for me, it seems a little shady.

[everett520]

So for you as long as the gift fits his girl's style, it is okay? Would a nice pair of shoes suffice?

Also, I think it is great when a married couple wears wedding rings, but what we are examining is the concept of an engagement ring. Historically, only women get them so the question of where a guy would wear one is generally moot.

[timberlake]

I thought you were talking about a ring for marriage, not engagement rings. I don't really see the point in two rings, to be honest. however, since it is traditionally expected for a ring to be given, then give it to her. I think that you should ask if she wants a ring or something else. that's an individual choice. I would want an engagement ring to be my wedding band as well. it's too expensive to have both. I like the bit of history the engagement ring has since the guy proposed with it.

[Amor3x0]

Hmmmm this woman isn't me. I don't really have an insatiable love for materialistic things anyway. So, I couldn't careless about a piece of rock. It's the two people who are in love who matter plus their love, allegiance and soul-connection with each other. Humans were granted free will and they will do whatever they well please with it; therefore, people can still hurt each other regardless of a ring. It isn't like the ring puts a stop to one person being unfaithful in the relationship. Humans were granted free will they will do whatever they well please with it. Hence, a ring is not necessary...at least not in my book.

[Amor3x0]

I can be attracted to shiny things heh but the rock isn't essential.

[saturdayx]

Agreed. =))

[Amor3x0]

Thanks.

[Cool-Relax]

Haha I thought the same thing about being attracted to shiny things other than diamonds :]

[Amor3x0]

Lol yeah. shiny things are fun.

[everett520]

I wanted to thank you for your comment! You were one of the few that responded in the vein this question was attempting to bring forth. My hope was to spark a discourse on what truly matters vs. materialism / tradition.

So thanks for contributing.

[Amor3x0]

You're welcome :).

[saturdayx]

I'm not a fan of diamonds because of what they've come to stand for. They've started to mean that women are shallow and will hold contest between men to see who produces the biggest rock from their ass. I prefer symbols that actually symbolize something. My friend made me a ring from the top of a coke bottle because the day we met we fought over what was better, coke or pepsi. Diamonds are just another way commercialism makes women look like material-based trophy wife cut outs via their cookie cutter collection they keep under their cot in the kitchen.

Lets get unique, people.

[saturdayx]

But don't get me wrong, I can be like a crow sometimes if I see something shiny lurking in the grass. I just don't need a diamond to prove that I love someone, or better yet, that they love me.

[everett520]

Hey, thanks for the story.

In western society I think it has much more to do with tradition (albeit a short one!) than materialism. I think if more people actually knew the manufactured myth of engagement rings, they would probably passed by for more personal choices that express love. I applaud you for seeing past the De Beers commercials.

[Amor3x0]

I also agree with your answer. It goes hand in hand with mine hehe.

[saturdayx]

Haha I've found myself incapable of answering a question without a story. People enjoy tradition because its consistant, its human nature to avoid change. On the same token, someone might change their hairstyle or religion and everyone looks the other way. But when someone proposes with a sapphire everyone just loses it.

[Hercules]

Hahaha, brilliant answer. I also love the sapphire comment.

[The-Nash]

The ring in itself is a piece of hardware but really it's what it symbolizes, at the moment it was given, and who it's given by.

Why does a gold metal mean anything to an Olympian?

Why does the Championship belt mean anything to a professional boxer?

Why do football teams battle for a ring at the end of a season?

The ring is just a ring, but given at the right moment and for the right reasons, it can take on a whole new meaning. It's the reward or symbol for recognition for someone who you'd be proud to give it to, and they should be honored and proud to receive it, and vice-versa, during a moment of celebration to glorify and commemorate the moment in time.

So I'd say the ring symbolizes much more, it symbolizes that the person you give it to is the best fit for you, that's why you'd want to marry them, lol, right? So the person I give a ring to is the person I see with the unsung "hero" type qualities and I want to let them know that I want to celebrate those qualities I see in that person.

[the-love-guru]

Refreshing to hear this from a gentleman. I'm accustomed to men being so pessimistic about the whole conversation of engagements and weddings. Thanks for giving us ladies hope!

[The-Nash]

Thanks:)

[Anonymous]

My advice is simple, but will pay dividends towards the future. Skip the ring. Invest in a bigger down payment on a home, or reducing your debt. Forgo the large wedding, do the same with those funds. Buy a home that's just a little bigger than you need, but one which you can afford. When times are good, pay off more of the mortgage. When times are bad, remember this little post you read on the Internet. You may not have a big shiny rock to pawn for pennies on the dollar, but you will have a roof over your head in which you and your family can take shelter and ride out the economic storms that are just beginning.

[everett520]

You win most practical post.

[Cool-Relax]

Stuff like that really doesn't interest me much. I'm going to agree with everyone who said it's the meaning behind the ring, but they're not really a big deal to me.

Plus, the history of wedding rings isn't well-known, but I don't like one of the theories. . .

During the medieval period, men would capture women and force them to be their wives. The man would tie a rope around her finger so she couldn't run away. Eventually, the woman got used to being with the man, so he would cut the rope, but he left the ring around her finger as a reminder that she belonged to him.

. . .not so romantic.

[argentina]

Wow how interesting!!!! :D

[Amor3x0]

Interesting post Cool-Relax =].

[Evolution86]

For me, the shiny things in life ( engagement rings, etc) aren't the important part. It's the gesture behind it. For me, I would prefer something simple. I would be more taken aback by the romance in the asking (provided a guy could convince me that romance exists).

Whenever a friend of mine gets engaged, the first thing they do is show the ring. But the first thing I do is ask "Well!? How did he do it!?!?!?" I want to know what he did to make that particular occasion special. I'm not too concerned about the ring she's been given.

[soxfan94]

The irony here is quite hilarious. Diamonds have no inherent value as a gemstone. They're valued only because men (as the dominant leaders of historic times) made a decision that anything shiny was valuable. This is why gold, silver, and diamonds now form the bedrock of our financial valuations. By themselves, these things have no value the way that food or tools do.

The idea of a diamond ring is that it is expensive, and symbolizes status or desire or dedication. But men can hardly complain about it being expensive, since we were the ones who determined that it ought to be valuable in the first place.

[the-love-guru]

It's almost impossible to explain. I think it's the symbol that a diamond engagement ring has, and the romance that surrounds an engagement story. It's actually all about the guy and how he provided for his fiance ( think about it, a guy that buys a very nice/ high quality ring is most likely to care for his future bride not only financially, but emotionally, etc.). Sounds kinda caveman, but it's the female equivalent of when guys show off their new trucks. It's a pride thing.

And please don't think I'm a snob... I believe in having nice things, but I also believe in giving nice things as well. I've always treated guys well.

[seregiel]

I think everyone has their "shiny rock." I'm not so much a rock girl, but I love the look of tempered steal and the metal work that goes into swords and hilts. A lot of guys like cars.

They are flashy, attractive to the eye, show personality, age, and they are status symbols.

In the case of a ring, it is a sign of passage, wealth, personality. Thus, a main attraction when newly acquired.

To me, a ring was a ring. All it did was say I was taken. Why a ring? It's small, but says a lot with the history behind it. In order to change to a different symbol you would need to get everyone to agree, because that is what a symbol is: an image with agreed upon meaning by the masses. Some cultures have nose piercings to show they are married. However, anything small would work. Clothing, bags, and other adornments aren't as easy as a ring in terms of being able to dress around it.

[ap1100]

I will admit that reading the answers to questions like this sometimes drives me crazy, but dating is about watching the other persons' behavior, so you know what you're getting into when you propose. Don't spend a ton of money on a ring but get a nice one. I've been shopping with friends of mine for their rings and the salespeople told us stories about girls who come in with real attitudes demanding over 1ct, or over 2ct, or don't even bother. You can spot a lot of these girls a mile away. When you do, steer clear, and you won't have a problem. As a guy, it bothers me somewhat that there are some girls who are completely vapid, materialistic, and self-centered. On the other hand, nobody forces you to date these girls, and if perfectly crafted boobs, hot sex, and your friends panting at your girl weren't your top priorities, you wouldn't have become a whipped guy and you wouldn't have to deal with a ball-busting girl who wouldn't be with you because your ring was 0.8ct.

[evelyn]

erm. I'm never one of those girls who like the guy giving me rings or flowers or whatever. I find that whenever someone gives me jewellery they expect me to wear it. and usually I dont, cause it depends on my mood and I usually only wear things that I buy.

what matters most to me is the time I spend with him, the feeling I get when I do so and how honest and open he is about our relationship that's all I need. some girls nowadays expect wayyy too much from their men, as if they are princesses or sth, all the while forgetting their men are human and do forget/make mistakes sometimes.

[bluesy]

Get money priorities straight. Get over it, girls (and guys). These rings are just ROCKS - shiny rocks - promoted by billion dollar companies to increase their profits. We've been together nearly thirty years and I made it clear to my husband years ago that I didn't want my intelligence insulted by him giving me stupid gifts like jewelry and flowers, and I would return the favor. Instead we have spent our "gift" money on a multitude of wonderful trips together. It's these shared memories that we will cherish as we age together. And likely part of the reason we are still married after thirty years. When we are sucked in by advertising in the media or by following "tradition" because it's "the thing" to do, we lose our ability to think for ourselves. Knowing I am loved is enough; no symbol at all is necessary.

[daughterofarebel]

I have no idea why women swoon over engagement rings ... I don't particularly like these flashy rocks. I much prefer a simple band with one gem, and even then that's too flashy for me. My ideal ring would be a simple gold band or a Celtic knot band in silver.

[Littletad]

It's not about the diamond, it's about the statement and most of all... the effort. A women would, at least most women, would prefer any size rock of an engagement ring. As long as EFFORT was shown, and the fact that he proposed makes all the difference.

[candy_41111]

ive never been a fan of jewelry,really and shiny things are pretty I get that and when a girl gets one froma guy it shows that the guy cares about his girlfriend or wife or fiancee,it shows you care about them or to show other guys they belong to you

[grenn126]

I like to think of it this way. If a guy gives me a shiny flashy ring I want to wear it. Not only to show it off but for poeple to ask me 'Where did you get that?" And I would answer "My amazing boyfriend!" So really its not we are totally into poeple lookin at our flashy material items...we want to talk about our boyfriends too. Hope this gave you another look at it.

I was looking at some of your answers and they are pretty good. You should try to answer some of my questions. :)

[Chrissy0038]

i mean diamonds are pretty I gotta whole lot from my dad on my sweet 16 but I honestly would prefer the money than the jewelry... they are beautiful Buttt like wtf is up with girls going crazy over it? that's dumbbbb to mr its like an accessory not a must have one though

[jessica849]

Girls like pretty things. Shiny, sparkly, pretty. Diamonds top this, nothing defines it better and in our society they are not only a sign of commitment but a status symbol. Give a girl a diamond, she feels pretty, loved, and a little posh. Every girl's dream!

[JustDance]

Every middle-lower class mans nightmare. :(

[Evolution86]

To take an idea from Carrie Bradshaw, and I quote, "Just get me a really big closet!"

For me, if a guy proposed to me, I wouldn't expect a diamond. I would want something that has some meaning, other than "A diamond is forever". What that is, I don't know. But with so many commercials having been made with that slogan, it's hard to come up with another answer.

[redheadbabygirl]

Shiny objects are pretty, catch the light, and draw attention to the wearer! They say, "look at me." When the shiny object is a DIAMOND, it says "look at me; somebody loves me a LOT." Who wouldn't like that?

[NirvanaCobain]

well there are woman who are in love with diamonds like the phrase "diamonds are a girl's best friend" but that doesn't apply to all. I'd rather buy something that I'd want then a diamond I guess every girls different

[everett520]

Your comment led me to an interesting thought, why should the women get anything at all?

[VAGitarian]

buying diamonds is retarded... it's just carbon..

People who say diamonds last forever don't know shit... because diamonds will eventually become graphite.

[Just-A-Random-Guy]

That phrase is an engineered marketing tool for companies such as De Beers to create demand for an abundant rock. Most of those rocks, however, are collected and stored in company-owned vaults in order to increase price. Supply and demand at its worst.

[aixela1234]

shiny stuff doesn't strike me, its the thought that counts and who its from. I don't care if its the best in the world or whatever it is as long as its from the heart, that is all that matters to me :]

[tex151]

Because women like shiny and pretty things, that are usually very expensive, if you think about women are kind of like fish, attract them with shiny things and you land them in the boat.