Was it good that we didn't do anything but cuddle on our second date at my home?

[Simslover92]

So I was expecting a bit more than cuddling, but I'm glad that there wasn't more. Though I think I did feel him poke at me once when we cuddled. It was a point in the night that I think he got completely naked because it was hot in my room (I live in the South). Of course he asked if he could take off his clothes and of course I said he could because it was extremely hot. But I wonder if we should have at least kissed once. The chemistry is sort of there but I didn't want to initiate it because I didn't want it to lead to more or for him to think that I wanted there to be more. So was it the right thing to just cuddle instead?

Do you think he wanted there to be more than just cuddling? I'm clueless when it comes to this kind of thing. He didn't try to fill me up or anything so I just assumed he wanted to keep things innocent.

[SteveSmith1985]

I thought it was great that you cuddled, and nothing more... until finding out what you wrote here.

He took his clothes off? That's not a subtle hint (I don't care how hot it was).

Did he hope for more? Absolutely.

The only reason he didn't try to initiate something, is because he didn't think it would be well-received.

You should definitely initiate things; if the moment is right, and that's what you want to do. He will for sure go with it. You just have to show him "it's ok."

He refrained from making a more overt attemt for more SOLEY because he didn't think you wanted more.

You know how I keep saying what happens is up to you?

This is what I mean. This guy did everything right for this specific situation.

You seemed down for cuddling. He for sure wanted more the whole time. If you also want more, you do need to give him a clear signal that you want to do whatever you want to do with him. You do need to initiate at first, if you're going to let him know you wanted more.

I can see how he might be thinking you wanted to move slower. I did too. It's fine if that changes, but... he's not a mind-reader. You can count on him being excited to go as far as you're comfortable with; as soon as you're ready. As his default-state. He will be good with it. He wants it. He just is unsure whether you want it (or even might be under the impression that you definitely don't want more to happen).

He is trying to respect your boundaries, and trying to scale his pace back to accommodate you. If you want more. Show him it's ok.

(It's so goddamn funny that he took all his clothes off. That's a story you're going to be able to tell forever. Because that's just incredible. I hope some day, you realize just how funny it is.)

[Simslover92]

Yeah when we cuddled there was definitely a hard on but I just figured that's a natural response from a guy if he's attracted to you. Believe me I wanted to go there but I didn't think it would be appropriate for the second date. I want us to get to know each other really well first. Maybe it'll happen in the next few dates but I just wanted to stick to my guns on this date. I will definitely initiate next time and let him know I want more. This made me feel a lot more comfortable with him that he didn't try me. He was a true gentleman. The whole time he asked me before doing something like if it was alright to stay the night, to sleep in my bed, to cuddle, to take off his shirt and then shorts. I will definitely show him it's okay next time to take it the next level.

[Simslover92]

And yeah it probably will be funny looking back. 😄

[SteveSmith1985]

Ok, it sounds like you made the right choice. You wanted to... but you actually didn't want to. Which is fine. It means you didn't do anything wrong in not initiating. I misunderstood you.

I agree that his conduct says excellent things about what kind of guy he is (at least in that way).

It sounds like you had a perfect second date. If it made you feel you got to know him better and made you more comfortable moving further in the future, that's perfect.

I'm glad to hear this went just like you wanted it to. I hope to keep getting these updates via your questions. I'll be sad when you two get past the "what the hell are they thinking" stage... and stop posting these dating questions. (but also happy that things worked out for you, of course)

[Simslover92]

Thanks. I hope it does go in the direction of getting out of the talking stage and becomes something more. We're supposed to have a movie date coming up so I'll definitely post about how that goes!

[SteveSmith1985]

Glad you already know the plan for the third date. It'll become something more, whenever one of you brings that up. It's still early (number of dates).

It all depends on how well you're connecting, and how things are going. I think that there's every reason to think things are on the road to becoming more (from what I know anyway). Definitely keep posting.

[Simslover92]

Ok I will! Thanks again!

[Finchie40]

Only you can answer this question? Were you happy it didn’t go further then just cuddling? Would things be different if you ended up kissing? When it comes to attraction and chemistry and connection with someone , there is no time limit whatsoever , all that matters is you both are choosing each other and hoping you both continue choosing each other

[Simslover92]

Thanks. I wanted to kiss him but I knew it would have led to something more than I think I was ready for. I'm glad it went the way it did and I hope things continue. We have plans to see a movie together next weekend I think if he's not busy. So we shall see how that goes.

[Finchie40]

Does he call you or text you on a regular basis? If so , that’s a good sign that he really likes you , if he isn’t calling you or texting you on a regular basis , then that’s a red flag

[Simslover92]

I don't think he likes texting or calling like that. I observed him twice on both dates and he rarely touched his phone. He is definitely a face to face type of person if that makes any sense. When he does text me though, it's always positive and with interest. He also said on the date the last date that he really likes me so I think he is definitely interested but just not a phone person. I could be wrong though.

[Finchie40]

As long as he doesn’t go days without texting or calling you then you should be fine , but if it’s a long time , then that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore

[Simslover92]

Ok, I'll keep that in mind. Usually he'll text me after a day or two. But he does work a lot so I try to be considerate of that. He does overtime a lot at Amazon and already works 10 hours a day which is a lot. By the time he gets off, he's hitting the gym and then gets home pretty late so again I have to be considerate of his schedule.

[Finchie40]

Yea but when a guy really
Likes a girl he will text or her call her before he goes to bed just to let her know he is thinking of her , just be careful , all I am saying

[Simslover92]

Ok I will. Thanks.

[Simslover92]

So he did acknowledge just now that he doesn't text as much as he should but that he apologizes and cares about me. Which says a lot. I didn't expect him to say that.

[Finchie40]

Well that’s definitely a good thing that he acknowledged that and told you that😊

[Simslover92]

Yeah it is 😊

[IslaTheWitch]

if you feel it's good that there was nothing more, then definitely it's good that nothing more happened...

some men like to wait for their partner to be ready... so enjoy it :D

[Simslover92]

Ok thanks!

[WhitneySnow]

You did great!!! So did he

[Simslover92]

Thanks!

[Truthatanycost]

Regardless of whether it was, what is the foundation of this? Eventually you will likely do more, but then what? You feel good nothing happened because you know if it did, you'd feel there was no real point to it having happened? Ask yourself...

[Simslover92]

The foundation or the point is to enter a long term relationship that will lead to possibly marriage and kids. At my age, that's definitely the goal. I know he's looking for a long term relationship based on his profile and I'm hoping he will be looking for more if we get closer and do enter a long term relationship. I feel good that nothing happened because I want us to have a serious and long lasting foundation that isn't built off just physical intimacy like my last relationship.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/BaA8gPY8iUg

He poked, he got naked & you two just cuddled?

[Simslover92]

Yes pretty much.

[bowenw]

You did good. There are no rules. As a male, you can be sure he wanted more. The fact that he didn't pressure you makes me think he believes your relationship could turn into something serious that he doesn't want to risk jeopardizing.

[Simslover92]

Ok thank you! I really hope so. I really like him a lot.

[bowenw]

Lucky guy!

[Simslover92]

Thanks! 😊

[MrChinaski]

Cuddling is pretty good. If you are on a path to more, then keep going. Don't sweat the small stuff.

[Simslover92]

Thanks

[PeachyPie93]

You cuddled with a guy naked isn't really an innocent date.. but to each their own..

[Simslover92]

The blanket was between us if that makes a difference.

[PeachyPie93]

Seems strange.. why not leave the clothes on and take the blanket off? lol

[Simslover92]

I don't know. You're right I guess it was rather odd but at the same time not odd because we barely know each other. I guess he didn't want to be tempted further since he was obviously tempted the first time with his shorts on cause I could feel his hard on. I'm new to this kind of thing lol I don't know what's normal and what's not. 😅

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah I get that.. I don't like to get into these situations myself.. So now besides kissing I won't do anything and I send them home after lol.

[Simslover92]

Lol.

[Anonymous]

Something is off if you are cuddling with a redblooded guy and you don't feel him down there poking into you. If I cuddle with my husband if we haven't already then we are going to have sex.

[Simslover92]

I did. It wasn't long but I did.

[Opinion Owner]

And did you reach down and grab it?

[Simslover92]

No, I didn't want to come off easy.

[molonski2]

Nothing wrong with that in the slightest , its very nice actually..

Well done indeed , see , I told you he was a worthwhile guy to pursue.

[KittygosMeoWW]

It’s not bad and he sounds interested if he’s poking you lmao.

[Simslover92]

Lol yeah right. I wasn't expecting that lol and it made me wonder if I should have tried something with him.

[KittygosMeoWW]

I mean kissing is nice but again if you didn’t want to make things awkward or have sex you did the right thing.

[Simslover92]

That's what I was thinking. Thanks.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Guys like a Chase so it probably made him more interested

[Simslover92]

I hope so. I really like him.

[nawtee_me]

I think you did the right thing. If st some point it goes farther then it will be because you both built up to that point together.

[Simslover92]

Thanks I think so too.

[MemeSupreme]

i think with you two cuddling and him being naked

kissing would've led to sex lol so he knew better to not do that

[PaleDale]

Just go at your own pace. Sounds like he's trying to give you space

[Simslover92]

Ok thanks!

[PaleDale]

👍👍👍.

[Nikki1989]

Different people have different needs.

[Anonymous]

I never understood why Americans feel they need to stick to a schedule for sex. Just do it whenever you want, it's not rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Why would it be good? No kissing on a 2nd date is strange.

[Simslover92]

He may not be into kissing like that. There are some people who don't like kissing.

[Mark987]

in my opinion.. the older you get... I would like to kiss by the second date or at least cuddle.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes that was great take you time get to know him that was you'll know if sex with him is what you really want to do

[RavVid]

Was that fill you up or feel you up?

In the circumstances I think some kissing an groping would have been appropriate.

[Simslover92]

I thought so too. And I guess it's feel me up. I maybe should have made a move but I just didn't want to come off easy.

[RavVid]

Yes and we prefer to be the sexual aggressor. But in recent times there is more cost to that than the girl being nominally offended at forwardness.

[Simslover92]

That's true. Maybe that's why he didn't make a move. I was expecting him to but I understand why he wouldn't when things are so bad now with the metoo movement.

[lolian94dl]

That’s totally fine , cuddling can recharge me more than sex

[Jay-_-]

Yea it's only a second date, nothing wrong with just cuddling.

[Jay-_-]

If it's mutual, obviously.

[Kelly6]

@Simslover92 its good, better to take it slow.

[fish5505_87]

I think you are both in the same space right now.

[spartan55]

So wait, you both got naked and didn't even kiss?

[Simslover92]

No I didn't get naked. I had on bra and panties.

[spartan55]

Hmmm... okay... a little unusual.

[ABC1x1x]

Nope. If you didn't even touch his dick there won't be a 3rd

[Simslover92]

Actually he asked me out on a 3rd date to the movies so you're wrong.

[ABC1x1x]

He's just being nice. He's not going to call you hack

[Hulk30]

when ya lead with Datin instead of courtin to date later yea to me Datin comes off to me like ya just want sex and should definitely be free

[eagle1951]

you tell us, wasit?

[Simslover92]

I think so.

[exitseven]

sounds like a win to me.

[Wise4myage]

I’d say that was wise.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it was a very good decision.

[alice55]

it's good

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's gay to me.

[Simslover92]

There is nothing gay about him.