Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
When I ask for advice on dating apps, I get told that I just need a better personality. When I ask how to convey it over the profile then I get told that pics and hotness matter by the same people.
I'm trying to get a definitive answer because if I say something like "being hot gets you more matches" I get made fun of and told I'm wrong that it's personality, when I say hotness doesn't matter, I get made of and told "it's online dating ofc it matters".
Then the sad part is if I say "conventionally hot people are more advantaged in online dating and can get away with a worse personality many times" I'm told I'm wrong for that too.
Can someone give a nuanced good faith explanation?
I'm trying to get a definitive answer because if I say something like "being hot gets you more matches" I get made fun of and told I'm wrong that it's personality, when I say hotness doesn't matter, I get made of and told "it's online dating ofc it matters".
Then the sad part is if I say "conventionally hot people are more advantaged in online dating and can get away with a worse personality many times" I'm told I'm wrong for that too.
Can someone give a nuanced good faith explanation?
What Girls Said
Hot people always will win over a person with a great personality but only average in the looks. That's life. If you want the best possible outcome you need both to get lots of people to want you. Other then that it takes effort for people to like you when you are just average.
I know that success is possible, I’ve gone to 2 weddings. But those stories are far and few between. The general consensus will say that dating apps suck, period point blank. If you haven’t had luck between all the time you’ve invested (whether that be weeks, months or even years), different apps you’ve used, different methods you’ve tried, then maybe it’s a sign that your match isn’t on an app.
Hey thanks for your reply but it sounds like you misunderstood the question
Oh, could you explain how so?
Sure, I asked if personality nets you more matches on online dating because the most common advice for those without matches is that they just need to work on themselves and have a better personality.
Your reply does confirm that people are having successful relationships which is great but it doesn't really address the question I was asking
I appreciate your reply though.
Fair enough. When I made this post, I felt like me stating “the general consensus will say that dating apps suck, period point blank” directly addressed your question. To clarify, I was basically saying that personality, looks, etc don’t really matter when at the end of the day it isn’t generating successful experiences. For example, how can someone’s personality matter if they aren’t even being engaged with? I can’t tell what someone’s personality is like just based off their bio or their pictures, I’d have to actually chat with them a bit and a lot of people aren’t even making it to that point in their dating app experiences. So the advice around that in regards to working on yourself and whatever, in my opinion, just doesn’t work.
For the weddings I went to, one was a relative who downloaded the app and met his wife during his first time using it. The other was a regular customer of mine who used E-Harmony and met a nice older gentleman but this was again during her first use. I think there’s something to be said about being on and off different apps for months and years yet having no success. When personality, looks and all that repeatedly garners no matches I’d say it’s either the person or the app and in most cases it’s these apps.
To be clear are you denying that "just have a better personality" is commonly given dating advice to people who express struggling on the apps? I understand many people will say they hate the apps, but that's not mutually exclusive to what I'm asking.
Everyone loves to complain and hate on Netflix yet so many people still have it and the same people who will tell you they hate it, will pay for it
No sir, that’s not what I’m saying at all lol. Okay so your title question asks “do you agree that a better personality will get you more matches on dating apps”. What I’m basically saying is that a person won’t get to experience your personality to judge if it’s good, bad or otherwise when you aren’t even making it to the point of having a conversation. Aka being swiped on, chosen, etc.
A better personality gives you “success” at least in the sense that your conversations make it off the app. It doesn’t determine whether or not someone will view your profile and decide to give you a chance. If anything your looks and bio will be what will or won’t get you matches lol but hopefully this explanation makes what I was trying to say clearer.
If you still don’t agree that your question was answered, I genuinely wouldn’t understand how not. I mean you’re asking if a better personality will get someone more matches and I’m basically saying that people aren’t even making it to that point. I can’t determine if your trustworthy, loyal, good, etc etc from your profile page, we’d have to chat in order for me to make that judgement, don’t you think?
Yes I think it helps
I don't know if you read the description but this answer seems like an over simplification