Why would he comment negatively on my looks if he's romantically interested in me?

[Anonymous]

I met him online. We share mutual friends and he lives pretty close to my home. He texted me first and it's him who is more interested. Now the issue is at first whatever conversations we had were about life, career, pets, traveling etc. However, I noticed that once he got comfortable he started criticising my looks. Those were not some harmless comments either, he told me: "you're so skinny, if you walk your bones would rattle". I'm not even underweight and he has only seen me in photos. Next he asked me: "with that body, do you have a shrill voice too? I can enjoy a live ghost show when we meet!" He also said: "are you on a very exclusive diet?"

He isn't the best looking man out there, he'd mostly be considered average or below. I'm no supermodel either but I'd say I'm considerably better-looking than him, at least by facial features. I also fit most of my country's beauty standards. We're of the same height. It's not wealth or anything either, I'm 5 years younger than him and at university; he is on the other hand barely employed. By his age I'll definitely be doing better (no I'm not snobbish, I can see it). I never commented on his looks or anything that would offend him.

Then he sent me a photo of a model and the screenshot of their chat where he's showering her with compliments. I stopped talking to him and when he asked what was the matter I respectfully explained that I didn't want to think forward about a man who thinks I'm ugly. He got mad and told me that I'm overreacting. He even made an Instagram post about arrogant people taking advantage of him which I could sense was targeted towards me.

• Of course I won't date him. But this made me question why did he resort to this type of behaviour and then expected me to still date him? I experienced something similar earlier as well. Most people tell me I give off 'reserved' vibes so he definitely can't think I'm desperate for men or that I would date whoever I'd get. Then why?

[ohsheeT]

Well I would run from this guy Because he's nothing but a manipulator

He's trying to downplay you. So you feel like you will never get a guy. So you have to pick him don't Even go there or think about it

And then he uses a picture of a girl that you might get Jealous over that's another manipulation everything you wrote Is nothing but a desperate guy and manipulation


You need to just keep on loving yourself Be confident cause I guarantee you're good looking With a good personality you're kind with a beautiful heart Do not fall for his tricks

[Anonymous]

Wow unbelievable. The woman i love taught me several things 1. Never comment on a person's appearance especially their body 2. If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all 3. Try to be kind and compliment people to help brighten their day because you never know what someone maybe going through or if somebodyis having a bad day. The woman i love got talked to in that same disrespectful manner by one of her fake friends. Ironically i never once talked bad about her appearance. I never commented on her appearance because I had always found her beautiful 😍 even when one of her fucking fake friends told her to go eat a cheeseburger. The jerk didn't realize she suffers from eating disorders and body dismorphia. It's been upsetting her since. Sometimes i just wish she would see herself through God's loving eyes and realize how beautiful she truly is.

[PrettyBarbieDoll]

He is an idiot that thinks it's ok to offend someone and than gaslight them. He first makes offending comments about your looks than he sends screenshot of the compliments he gets from a model and claims you overreact? Girl don't doubt yourself EVER! Understood!!! That mothefucker is a low life douchbag that thinks he is hot when in fact he does not get attention at all so he is projecting. Girl get dressed up, put your makeup on, get a nice dress with nice heels and walk in the city. You will find a better man! Plenty nice mans and good looking too. don't listen to that piece of shit. Big hug my sister❤️

[Asker]

Thank you so much girl ❤️. Also not the compliments he gets from the model, the compliments he gave her, lol. He had told me once that his last ex blocked him without any clue and now I can see it. You're right, he just wants to drag me down. Big hug to you too ❤️

[PrettyBarbieDoll]

You are welcome! Oeps i read it the wrong way. He send you screenshots of him giving her compliments. He is an idiot either way. The moment a man puts you down? Just walk away from him! Respect yourself and believe in yourself! No matter what someone says to you okej! Everything will be alright❤️

[Nikki1989]

“Negging” is a form of emotional manipulation where a person gives backhanded compliments or makes subtly insulting remarks to undermine someone's confidence. Don't fall for it.

[MrChinaski]

Negging maybe. It's more likely he is just an ahole

[Nikki1989]

@bddddd Yeah, I was being kind.

[Asker]

He overestimates himself probably and underestimate others. If he sees that others don't underestimate themselves like he wants them to, he tries this trick I guess.

[itsannalee]

To bring you down and make you in the same level as him.

[Asker]

World is so full of twisted people

[EmmaMary]

You really could become an author of best selling romantic stories... Perhaps Mills and Boon.

[Asker]

If this story could turn romantic, may I'm spared from such stories.

[Alex-Snow]

I think you can do way better. I'd move on.