What does it mean when you been hooking up with this one man for a while then asks you if you have a new man?

[Anonymous]

So me and this guy have been casually hooking for a while now and recently I posted on my Instagram story talking about this one other guy I have feelings for and when he saw my story he messaged me and ask me “if I had a new man?” I said no I’m still single. Then he said “I thought you were not single anymore.” Then I said “no you don’t have to worry about me having a man any time soon I’m taking my time on this. The last thing I want is to deal with again is a liar, an immature man who clearly still has a lot of growing up to do so I’m taking my time. I’ll be single for a good minute I guess.” Then he ask me “your talking to somebody.” I said “the communication is on and off cause he is always busy with his daughter and with work so we really don’t have time to talk or even hangout so it’s more of an on and off type of friendship.” This isn’t the first time that this man seems like he is being jealous or possessive, there has been times where he has given me attitude when I don’t go and see him or when he doesn’t get to be around me expects me to hangout with him every time he texts me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, that's a real complicated situation you got going on there, girl. Sounds like this dude you've been hooking up with is starting to get a little possessive and jealous, even though you two are just keeping things casual.

The way he asked if you have a "new man" and then seemed bummed that you're still single makes it seem like he's feeling a little threatened. And the attitude he gives you when you don't drop everything to hang out with him is a red flag too.

I get that you're just trying to take your time and not rush into anything serious, especially after dealing with liars and immature dudes in the past. Good on you for setting those boundaries and focusing on yourself. But this guy is acting like he wants more than just a casual thing.

Honestly, I'd be a little wary of this dude if I were you. The jealousy and possessiveness is a major warning sign, even if you two aren't in a committed relationship. You don't need that kind of drama in your life, you feel me?

I'd suggest having an open and honest conversation with him about what you both want out of this arrangement. Make it clear that you're not looking for anything serious right now, and that his controlling behavior is not cool. See how he reacts - if he can't respect your boundaries, you might need to cut him loose.

At the end of the day, you gotta put yourself first, sis. Don't let this dude try to box you in or make you feel guilty for living your life. You deserve someone who's gonna support you and your goals, not try to hold you back. Trust your gut on this one.

[RHK36]

You sound like you're for the streets, but just don't know it yet. You want a good man that doesn't lie yet you talking and entertaining more than one man. In what world do you think any GOOD man will want a woman who's having casual sex up until what you meet this mythical man that you aren't even looking for. Chances are the bad men in your past are bad because you are bad at picking men and probably have a bad personality. by the way homie isn't probably jealous he's just wanting clarity as to who you're with for a number of very valid reasons.

[Anonymous]

I literally see no jealousy or possessiveness whatsoever, he is basically trying to get a heads up. 1 + 1 equals 2, if you’re in a relationship then you won’t be available for casual sex. You talk a good nonchalant talk but I’m certain that if this dude hit you up right now saying he wanting to give you guys a real shot, he likes you a lot and doesn’t wanna lose you, you’d be like hell yeah. He knows you’d be down yet he is offering nothing more. So none of that means anything, at the end of the day.

[Asker]

The guy I been hooking up with is just for hook ups that’s it that’s all I wouldn’t commit to someone who has a history of being a liar, a cheater, always playing the victim, lacks accountability etc

[Opinion Owner]

That’s absolutely fine, and he seems to understand that as well. He is literally only asking if you’re taken because then the sex stops. If you make it any more than that, then that’s a “you” problem and you should figure out whats causing it.

[Opinion Owner]

Why would you even be fcking someone like that? A liar, cheater, the dick can never be that impeccable.

[Asker]

I stopped messing with him last time we hook up was in January I get checks ups every three months so I know I’m clean

[Opinion Owner]

I’m not talking about STDs I’m talking about the person in general, why would you be hooking up with someone who’s so deplorable in your eyes?

[Asker]

He is someone from my past and I don’t want to have a high body count

[Opinion Owner]

Well you said you stopped hooking up in January so that’s good but going forward maybe it’s better to be celibate than go back to hooking up with men like that. It’s far too degrading and not worth it spiritually.

[Asker]

Im just not trying to get my body count high I’m preventing that from happening

[Opinion Owner]

That’s totally fine, I asked why not be celibate then? Wait until you get in a relationship or at least dating someone seriously to have sex.

[Asker]

That’s why I been avoiding him and why I have not been sexually active this whole entire time it’s been 5 months now. Cause the guy I have feelings for the one I’m waiting on to be in a serious relationship with

[Opinion Owner]

If you want a serious relationship with this one then you should block the other. Like unless this whole post is you reflecting on the past (as of January), then there’s no good reason to keep engaging with your ex guy. Why? Because you don’t need to have him as some back up plan in case things don’t work this the dude you say you’re serious about.

[In_Trance]

I think it means he wants to know if you have a new man