How to be normal around the person who you like?

[Anonymous]

There's a guy at my class who I had always found quite attractive (personality, appearance every way). It's not been a long time so I it was limited to that. We never talked. Now recently our professor gave us a group project and each group consists of 4 people. He is in my group as well. Now the issue is that the two other people apart from us are dating each other. So while doing our data collection, the group will be split into half, and as the couple will be together, I've to be with him. He talks to me a lot these days and I feel so awkward to talk back. The couple once kind of jokingly suggested that we could date each other as well and he laughed. I never took my admiration for him seriously, but this is getting more and more uncomfortable. We've to spend whole six months together. How do I get over the crush and act normal? I'm a quite shy person, went to mostly women-only institutions, never have had much interaction with the opposite sex except an online relationship once that ended long ago.

[ohsheeT]

Well you can do it a few ways. You could treat it as if it's a job. But that's to serious? Some how you just have to put it behind you and make it like a sport your team mates helping each other win the game.

You said you had an online thing go on you can look at it that way to.

Another way is to role play it out kinda with him your role is to be yourself he's going to be who ever

I go to apps where I can role play things out and you should really try this with anything you want to learn experiencing something. On line in stead of the awkwardness in doing it in real life. Well really open you up and allow the real u to come out more.

We are all shy until we're not and thats because of our confidence level the more we experience something the better we get at it and become the rhythm of ourself.

Not unless you are an empath. And I think you could be. If that's the case then the reason you are so shy and nervous is because when you are talking to him. There is an overwhelming feeling an energy rushing throughout your whole body and that feeling make you feel things that if people new might embarrass you if that's what is happening . I will just say you know what im talking about then. And I've been there it made me want to run and run fast lol. And this that is happening. I can explain to you what is really happening. And once you learn that it will change your life for the best. If its not that then role play it out and gain your confidence sometimes we get embarrassed for no reason because we feel people are looking at us and judging us. And that's not the case. But in our head it is lol

[TrimmedTip]

Focus on the project, not him. Use tasks to steer conversation.
Breathe and laugh if you get flustered—it humanizes you.
Ask him questions about the work—it takes pressure off you to talk.
Remember: you're there to learn, not to impress. Let things unfold naturally.

[Asker]

Yes. I'm trying my best. I never think of these type of things as serious, they are just projections of our mind. But I remember worrying that he'd be in my team before the teams were formed and he was indeed there. It turns out that we have the same mother tongue (we all speak English here but that's just the common language). So, probably another reason he talks more to me, particularly in our native tongue. I knew this information about him but he just found out about me so must be the curiosity. I'm trying to take it easy.

[TrimmedTip]

I have seen these kinda things when I used to live in India. I love my country.

[Asker]

You are right, I'm indeed talking about India.

[TrimmedTip]

Let me know if you want to discuss this in detailed. I would love to do that. Thank You!

[Anonymous]

By realizing that they're a human being like you. And it's probably not going to work out anyway. So there's really nothing worth getting riled up about.

[Asker]

Yes, I never thought that anything can happen between us. Crushes aren't usually anything serious. I think my anxiety is getting triggered by people, when he talks to me I often catch people around us looking at us. Particularly that couple kind of feels there's something going to happen between us. That makes me uncomfortable.

[Opinion Owner]

I get it. I was much the same at your age. But when you realize the low level of success. And I don't mean dating, I'm talking about everything that follows it as well. Maybe you date, maybe you date for a couple of weeks, a couple of months, maybe date for a year or more maybe you get engaged, maybe you get married, maybe you are married for years and years. Maybe you're married for 30 years and one day he wakes up and decides he despises you and doesn't want anything to do with you anymore.
Ya see how it knocking working out just saved you 30 years of wasted life.
I hope that doesn't sound Grimm. It wasn't supposed to. I'm just saying relax and enjoy the moment. Because that's all life is a series of moments. Nothing worthing getting stressed about.👍

[Asker]

You're right. I understand that. I don't think anything is going to happen but I'm just uncomfortable thinking about it. I'm afraid that he'll come to know about it. In fact I feel like he's kinda interested as well. I was comfortable with the idea that it was all in my head, now I can see it has gone beyond that.

[Twalli]

Do you want to get over the crush or be his girlfriend?

[Asker]

Get over the awkwardness. I wasn't serious, I thought it was just in my head. But now as we're interacting, it feels like he's kinda interested too. That's making things complicated.

[Twalli]

Ask to hang out with him socially.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could have figured that out myself almost 10 years ago.